No anal a deal breaker now a days?

Oral is probably not either and I ask no man to do it altho some have insisted and so I don't mind It either. I said in a post somewhere else before, it does little for me because it's too gentle and I get bored with it. I am more into a romping good time with other things and again, if a guy couldn't do something I like it's not a deal breaker as long as we find what makes us both rock. Now you said she won't but you want to, let her go, get someone who will, she doesn't want yer junk in her ass. Wh might be worried you mess with the muscles in there and she has issues later. The V is meant for it tho.
So I haven't judged you, I said if you are holding back on a proposal to her it's obviously time you looked past the bushes of your back yard for another who does what you do. She obviously let you do it once and didn't like it.
Shove something up yer ass and see if you believe she has a reason to say no. Or offer to let her do that and maybe she will let you then but I bet it didn't feel good to her and that's why she refuses, good for her!
Oh, and I might have judged you a bit as some others did,,, no ass work no marriage,,, hmmm....

 

Me and my wife have been doing anal regularly for about 12 years now, and her ass is still quite tight.

The incontinence you are speaking about comes from PAINFUL anal sex where there is damage being done to the muscles of the anus.

GOOD anal is about relaxing not ripping your ladies ass open. My wife would not able to orgasm from anal if it was causing the type of pain that would result in incontinence.

 

I enjoy anal and have been doing it for almost 30 years. No problems whatsoever related to it.

I do it, because it feels very good. When I fuck a good lover, a man who knows how to fuck, something quite difficult to find, I propose anal.

If the man is a bad lover, it could be unpleasant, but I don't do it with men who are bad lovers. Vaginal sex is also unpleasant with bad lovers.

Men who fuck my ass usually start with oral, a tongue around it, finger deliciously slipping in... by the time it happens, I'm completely wanting it and his cock will slip in as if it was a hand in a quality glove. Snug fit, perfect grip. It feels very good and my orgasms are more intense if we're having anal. It feels really good. What feels good to me is my anus being massaged by the cock's in and outs. It's fantastic and I recommend it.

By the way, using muscles isn't a bad thing. Pelvic floor exercises, and lifting reasonable amounts of weight are all good for health. In general, using a muscle is a good thing. Exercising isn't bad for health. Everything in moderation.

This thread reminded me of an unrelated story I'll share with you. When I've had my hysterectomy, I've shared a room at hospital with a woman who had an operation in her ass, because of tearing. She had never had anal sex and the tearing had happened during a BM. I've listened to her screaming every time the nurses would come to put a finger in her ass to stretch it and to teach her how to do it. Her surgeon told her to use two fingers to stretch her ass regularly at home, to prevent tearing ever happening again.

Back to the subject of anal, I've even told my husband he should try it in the receiving end. Not because I think it'd be bad, but on the contrary. I can only imagine how awesome it must feel for a man, because I only have the pleasure of the anus massage. A man would have prostate massage on top of that. I think he's missing on something.

Why is it people need to get aggressive and so negative about others and their kinks? What is it with the Internet that brings out the worst in people? I'm often shocked by the lack of empathy and the judgmental comments. It's unnecessary. One can talk to people in a civilized way, without the need to put others down.

For a forum where people are telling other people they should communicate all the time, it's amazing how bad some members are at communicating. It often passes through two phases: 1 telling the world one's so much better, 2 humiliating whoever dares to be different. That's very bad communication.

Good communication is about empathy and sharing. Humiliating should be avoided.

Lost of people posting are very young, inexperienced and with that kind of radicalism so common in the speech of young people. If for some reason we think we should have a go at changing their opinion, It should be about sharing our experiences in an adult way, no name calling, no need to humiliate. Haven't we all done shit in life? Don't we all need to soften and learn about stuff all the time?

Real world is full of bullies. Why to make a hip forum a place of bullies, too?

And if after we share our experiences the poster stands by his opinions, that's his prerogative. Who is anyone of us to teach people how to live their lives? How are we supposed to know what is good for him?

Live and let live.

 

If my girlfriend did not want to have anal that would be no problems with me. I think it's a really shallow reason in being a deal breaker.

I fully agree with Sallysmart. If a man wants anal, they better be prepared to take a big black strap-on up the arse without whining about it. Fair is fair. Us hippies are for equal rights.

:rockon:

 

You know, there are girls who ENJOY it. If you don't, that's perfectly fine, but the guys who want it aren't jerks for wanting it.
Think of what you most like in sex and imagine your partner is completely unwilling to do it. Maybe you would not be delighted either by the thought of committing to a person who will not give you that pleasure (years of being sexually frustrated).

Some guys think anal sex is the best and it's not up to you or me or anyone to determine if it's ok or not. As long as there are women who enjoy it as well, what's the problem?
The point is sexual compatibility. People should be with people who enjoy the same things. Not settle for frustration.

 

See that's where you read me wrong, I never ever said women don't like it, I said many don't, now if you are with someone who won't Then you are with the wrong one,,, see my point? Why push it on someone who won't and destroy your relationship in a bad way or live with the wishes for a life time? Best off to end it and find the one who will... No frustrations. And you said in your last sentence what I have all along so you are not arguing with me at all, we do agree. Compatibility is the key here yet we see a few people here complaining their lover won't love them the way they want. It's funny people don't see this, yet I got called a feminist by a couple people for suggesting compatibility. Compatibility, ya stupid word but it works.
And as for me wanting something and not getting it but being committed,,, never have I committed to anyone who wouldn't want what I want, in the complete relationship, but I do commit, when it's right. I would never suffer that issue, they know me and I know them long before I am committed.
This IMO is why sex and living together might be a good thing to do, before a serious thing happens like marriage, it's what I do, been married twice and lived with about five men, well to include BF who is moving in with me in April. I have come to trust him, we talk openly and have said what we will and won't do already, have found what turns us on. I am ready to let him move in with me, he will sell his house and become a part of my home and life. He is my best friend and lover.
BTW, you quoted Irminsul with two of my quotes and didn't say why... I am not sure she was quoting me but it looks as if so as you posted it.

 

I don't think she was quoting anyone, I just quoted you both because you both seemed to have the same attitude towards the guys who wanted anal sex.
I might have misunderstood you, maybe you were talking about compatibility, since you said he should be with someone else and stop trying to force it on her, but after that you also said 'You do have a shitty (pun intended) base on good relationships values. IMO it's not natural, it's porn crap'.

 

And in my opinion it is porn crap, my opinion, you don't have to like my opinion tho but I bet you have an opinion, I may or may not agree with, let er fly,,, Also some others said the same as I did about anal. it's a given we will always see those,,, opinions, and not all will suit us all but they do happen.
And my over all statement (or attitude as you said) in any conversation about anal sex is there is no point in trying to make a partner do and like it if they don't agree. Again I am not against it, I would totally strap on a dildo for my man if he wanted anal action butt he doesn't. I do have an open mind just not about anything going in my ass.

 

I don't have any problems with the fact that you don't want to have anal sex or that you think it's porn crap. As you said, it's your opinion and that's fine.

But you made it seem like the reason for his 'shitty values' was the fact that he was reluctant to commit without anal sex.
And as you said in your previous post, you wouldn't commit if you and your partner weren't compatible sexually, so the 'shitty values' comment makes no sense to me

 

Ok sweetie, look back,,, he said it not me, I am just saying why let that stop a relationship, or why not let the relationship go and search on for the one he can get what he wants from.
And no absolutely not, I would not commit with a guy who wants sex in a way I won't. Why let a guy fall in love with me just so I can find reasons to say no, we already have a rep for that from guys who have been in bad relationships and so it should be if people commit when they know they shouldn't because things won't work out. Read your last bit above,,, that makes no sense.
I won't commit with anyone who doesn't have the same values on money, life, sex and family connections as I do. Why would anyone? Why would you commit and let the headaches begin?

 

No, you didn't understand what I said.
I agree with you about committing. You wouldn't commit to a guy who wants sex in a different way (I agree with this), but when he said that he didn't want to commit for the exact same reasons, you told him he had shitty values.

 

Pardon me for butting in here. I think what you're saying is that it is a bit hypocritical to reject a man because he wants anal sex, and yet say it is shallow of him to make anal sex a deal breaker. While I see your point, respectively, I think there is one flaw in your reasoning. With anal sex it is the woman who is being penatrated. It is the woman who has to endure any pain, discomfort, or damage. For this reason I have to side with Sallysmart.

 

Thanks Jeff, it really is the females choice here unless he is asking for her to penetrate him and she'd be ok with that. Pip isn't getting my explanation at all and this is it, he has to let his desire go or move on to one who, will, she ultimately has the choice of receiving, why a few aren't getting that,,,,

 

It's not a deal breaker to me. Any women who doesn't want it shoved there has every right to say no.

You fuckwits here that say it is a deal breaker, keep pullin' yourselves ya silly twats, I know you ain't gettin' none anyway.

 

Correct. I don't believe I would be doing anyone a favor by committing to a girl who doesn't do anal, because it happens to be my favourite hole to fuck and hence is not a "small part of sex" to me, nor "porn crap" because I was not into anal porn before I had real experiences with anal. And no, I'm not attracted to guys at all, so that wouldn't solve the issue.

The discussion is not about a "woman's right to say no", and I really wish the white knights would stop chiming in with their dimwitted personal attacks. It's about sexual compatibility. It takes two to tango, and if you make a relationship all about the "rights" of one person, it's not going to work out. You will almost certainly have to work out some kind of compromises, and sex is no exception to that. For instance, I'm really not keen on staying in bed after sex to cuddle - I would much rather just get up and get on with my life - and yet I still stay to cuddle because I know it makes my girlfriend happy, and is consequently an effective way to increase satisfaction in the relationship and strengthen our bond. When making such decisions and deciding whose wishes you prioritise at any given time, you might want to consider the question: "Do I want to be stubborn, or do I want to be happy?"

My girlfriend happens to enjoy anal, but if she wasn't that open to it, I do wish she would be able to at least do it every now and then, to entertain me. I have had girls who weren't so open to anal, and by me approaching it really slowly and making it pleasurable to them, they eventually started to like it. But for some women, it seems to be about being able to prioritise the pleasure of her partner over her own, which is sometimes a good mindset to have - as I concluded above.

However, pushing something on an unwilling participant turns me off, and I would stop trying to push the issue as soon as I realise that, and accept that we're not compatible sexually. Which is why I would think twice before committing to a girl who doesn't do anal, and I don't believe it is about shitty values.

 

Good god... I agree with that! It is the female's choice. And yes, he should let his desire go or move on. I'm not arguing with you here.
I'm just saying it's not 'shitty values' to want sexual compatibility, and you agree with that!

I get it.

 

Then you can quit wasting our time and arguing because no one ever said here that wanting compatibility was a shitty value, I said it wasn't right to push your needs on someone not wanting it and he should move on to someone who wants what he wants,,, that's compatibility,,, There is nothing wrong with being gay, or wanting BDSM or anal as long as your partner wants it too, you can't make someone like it, you need someone who wants it.

 

I was told years ago "we don't like that anymore"
what am I gonna do, if we don't like it we don't like it.

 

This is hilarious. Let's all throw in some random,,,then after a few more words some,,,and then for the hell of it,,,because, you know, you can never have enough,,,comma's,,,,can you?

 

I love my comma's. some of these too (....) ....
and now and then this ??? has to happen