Forgiving. Forgetting.

No no, something had happened before, and she says that night she had told him he could come over but that the physical part of their relationship was over because she had met someone (me).

aaaaanyways. dead and buried.

 

The force is strong with this one!

 

OP, I totally believe you in that you are torn by this, but it definitely sounds pretty one side minded on your part. I am a guy and am not in any way trying to be a dick about this, and I realize all of this is coming from your perspective, but honestly from what you said I think you're in the wrong here bud. Let me explain:

You admit this was very early on in your relationship and you were also seeing someone else. So I have to say early on when there's no real commitments she doesn't owe you shit, not then and not today. It's like you pressing her on past boyfriends and if anything it makes you sound like a total control freak. I mean seriously you guys were early on in your relationship, you weren't serious, you weren't married. Because it was very early in your relationship I'm thinking why the heck should you even care at all, especially since you were seeing someone else anyway? Since then and since you've been with her do you have any reason to suspect she's been unfaithful to you or gone behind your back with anything? If not then you need to let this go. She isn't the problem, you and your inferiority / control complex are... Lets say she was lying to you and something did happen, do you think she thinks if she now comes clean you'll really say "That's okay, thanks for being honest with me..." No you're probably going to cram it down her throat, call her a liar and blah blah blah...

Also (and this is important IMO) lets rewind back for a second, that night it sounded like she really wanted to see you or needed you, and you weren't there for her. Drinking beer with your buddies was more important than her. At that point YOU shrugged her off, put her at 2nd best, actually 3rd best... Now how do you think that made her feel or did you / can you even factor that into things? Obviously not as you ended up calling GF#2 after and tried to get something going on with her instead. That IMHO puts you in the slime bucket buddy, as here you had a girl who wanted / needed you but you shit on that and instead tried to get things going on with another girl. But interestingly you were called out by GF#2 and had your shit shoved in your face. Also it's only after that point you went crawling back to GF#1 and saw that YOU now had been passed up, which again IMHO you rightfully deserved... You played your cards, you lost, and then what did you do? Seriously like a little bitch you texted her saying "It's over, blah blah blah..." So on the one hand it's perfectly okay to shrug her off and try to get some tail from another girl, but as soon as that fails and she may have gotten some tail from someone else because you F'ed up, now it's over??? Face it, you got bitch slapped and now you've twisted it all around as if you're the victim and she owes you.

Who knows what this guy was to her, he could have been a friend, he could have been her #2 which she apparently was to you that night. This has nothing to do with her "coming clean" this has to do with you coming up 2nd best and having an inferiority / control complex about it. Seriously re-read your own post and see what a dick you were to her that night. Also let me ask you, did you come clean to her and tell her on that night you shrugged her off? Did you tell her she wasn't important enough to see that night? Did you tell her you instead wanted another girl? Did you tell her that you got rejected by the 2nd girl? Did you tell her that only after getting rejected by the 2nd girl you came over to her house when that was the only option left?

Nah, I didn't think so... Face it, you screwed up that night. IMHO you are lucky this girl took YOU back. Whatever she may have done or was going to do with this other guy was your fault as you set the whole thing up. What I've read of your post you are self centered, may have an inferiority complex and definitely have some control issues. If she's been a good GF to you since that night, then you need to cut loose of this buried feeling you have and acknowledge the fact that you caused it and she doesn't "owe" you anything for whatever she did or may have happened that night.


Edit - I didn't read much past the initial post, so sounds like you finally got your head straight, but I still stand by what I said in my reply

 

Trust your instincts.

 

Wanna know more about India? Try reading the kama sutra. There is a whole section on how to fight with your spouse. There is also comment that seeing the marks left on a woman by another man is smoking hot. If that's the guide for traditional romance, than it's rather balanced despite gender roles being rather firmly set.

And I always wondered why people get so hung up on sexual past. Vanilla gorilla got it right on the paranoia. I have been the girl accused of sex I never had, and that ended up diriving me to go cheat. If I was damned either way till I "came clean" then I may as well have the sex so I could come clean about it, right? Funny, he didn't see it that way when I came clean about the fling.

 

Helllooooo :daisy:

You're too cute to stress over this relationship stuff. Find someone who can YOU can trust and that can trust you BACK. Don't blame yourself for not having enough courage to trust her - and above all trust YOUR instinct. If your heart is telling you she's lying, then there is no use beating around the bush.

I have to say though, you said you were seeing someone else in the BEGINNING of seeing your current girlfriend - but as soon as she cancelled plans you invited another girl over? Was that recently? Because if it was, then that's not the beginning of your current relationship. Imagine if your CURRENT girlfriend changed her mind again that night, came over and found THOSE girls shoes there? D:

You know? Theres no trust here Unfortunately if she's not being sincere, at least you know you are. If you still feel like she's lying, I know it's hard but you might just have to move on :love:

 

i don't believe you'll be able to keep your cool forever i think this peace you've found is just temporary. you need to scrap the relationship honestly.

 

she moved out this weekend sooooooo
we're good

 

thats good

 

:grouphug: and time...........that usually helps.

Wishing you the best for the great times ahead that you will have.

 

You've obviously never spent AGES trying to find cerise nail varnish, only to find she never uses it, and when you ask why not she says "Because I hate cerise"; and when you say "But it's your favourite colour" she says "No it's not: my favourite colour is aubergine" :bobby:

 

Bro tell me you've never been in a girl bedroom before?
I can guarantee you that they wernt playing dollys
At the moment it's still early days no kids envolved and if you can't trust her now you're not going to be able too in days yet to come
The longer you wait the harder it gets
Say they didn't do anything then they will the next opportunity that they get
Good luck

 

wow, this is an old post. This relationship has been over for a year and a half.
Turns out she was a liar and a cheater so... I guess my instinct was right.

I have been in a new relationship for the last few months now, and it blows this other relationship out of the water.
I should have left the day I walked into that bedroom and never looked back.

Lesson learned!
Can't make a hoe a housewife.

 

A problem always finds a way to be terminated, which is not to be confused with solved.

In saying that, right now what you're doing is repeatedly bringing up the same topic that she has already given you her claims on that you don't believe. So, what you're doing right now isn't terminating the problem. However, sooner or later one of you will decide on an option that will terminate this problem. I can only think of three options for your end; Believe her. Don't believe her and end all conversations of this topic. Don't believe her and end the relationship. No matter what option you or your partner chooses the problem will crease to exist sooner or later.

You and your partner will have to decide what you're willing to lose on top of losing the problem.

If you lose each other, that sucks. But, you were in a relationship when you found her and she was... I don't know... when she found you. So, you two sound like you can easily get with someone else. However, I like happy endings, hopefully when the problem is terminated you two are still together. If you are, that's beautiful, man. I'm going to give you an e-hug. If not, you two are better off.