Relationship always means a child is on the way?

Thank you! I have never wanted kids either, in part because I have serious anger management issues. There are those who will tell me that were I to have one and give it up for adoption, I would be selfish and irresponsible because of this.

I feel I am being very responsible by recognizing in myself and family history the possibility of abuse and knowing the best way to protect an innocent child from it. Why wait for a cop to get involved and a government to slap a "damaged goods" label on a kid? Better yet, why get pregnant?

I am happy as auntie and will stay that way, thank you. I can hand them back when my tolerance gets thin this way.

 

I have, in the past. I mostly ignored the comments, and gave one word answers to the questions, before changing the subject.

Being a parent is a tough job, for people who really want it. Everybody else is better off to leave it alone.

 

I know this thread has been beat to death, and again I wouldn't give up my kids or rewind time or change anything if I could.

But that said I will say having kids is expensive... Their birth was free due to our insurance, but I read somewhere (and this is probably outdated by now) but to bring a kid into the world, feed & clothe them, pay for this, that, education and whatever else, average spending per child about a half mill. I know somehow much of this thread centered on people having children being labeled as selfish, but when you really do the math I can't possibly see how that's the case

 

It's only that way (expensive) due to the world economic system seems to allocate wealth to two main categories over time in a free market society, even if you start off with a strong middle class. Overtime the extremes of really wealthy and really poor pan out.


Same goes for corporations, they start out with lots of little firms and competition and then only a few big giants in an industry remain until they get broken up by whatever anti-trust and monopoly prevention laws exist, if they exist at all.

People will still have sex though, and kids will still come regardless but you do see a decline in birth rate in developed countries, like Japan, whose populaces are worried about the finances first and the creation of children 2nd.


It can be argued that generational decline in birth rate actually worsens an economy, rather than grows it, and creates a cyclical downward spiral for a nation. (companies who make baby food and products will decline and have layoffs, raise prices on inventory, cut down on manufacturing)

 

Hey....
I feel for you. I went through the same thing for years...
my quick story is I've been with my husband since Sept 2000 and married since July 2003.... a couple years after we got married we started trying to have a kid and after a long time of trying (at least two years), we finally went to a fertility clinic and I had to take clomid and give myself injections and then we went in and tried IVF once... which didn't work and we didn't have the money to try again. We decided to stop thinking about it...and it was hard cause it was all I thought about but about 6 months later, we were finally relaxing and not thinking about it....and I got pregnant without us even trying.
We had our first kid on Jan 23, 2011... he's now my beautiful three year old boy....AND once again, we were not even trying to have a kid and I am now almost 3 months pregnant with our second.
(oh and also when we were going to the fertility clinic we found out it was a prob w BOTH of us... I wasn't ovulating and his shit wasn't swimming right.) BUT... I swear I think for us it was stress that caused the prob, because once we stopped stressing about it... luck! twice now. yay

anyways, that happens a lot to people (know other people who finally adopted after years and years of frustrated trying and then...soon after...pregnancy.) when they are relaxed and not worried about it.

 

So OP, when are you gonna have kids?

 

^^lolz

 

Never, im gonna plunk down the cash to get a vasectomy. Gotta keep the sperm from sprouting.
I also cant stand how people all think babies are so cute. They are sickening. People all sit there and expect me to go "oooooohhhh it so cute!!!" when I go near a baby. Im friggin disgusted by em!
Whenever another family has one they try to pass it to me, and i try to get away, then they shove it into my arms.
What the hell people? What is it with this baby fetish and this fetish that everyone else has to have the same opinion about how "cute" they are.

 

Babies can look weird when they are first born (some)....but still...babies are adorable.

It's prolly good you don't wanna have kids. Def go get the vasectomy.

Anyways... I don't think it's weird that you don't wanna have kids or that you don't think babies are cute or even like them at all... what IS a bit odd through is how you seem to be so worked up over the fact that many other people DO want kids and DO think babies are cute. What does it matter?

 

Babies are polluting the environment by growing up, eating food, bumming off my tax dollars by applying for food stamps, doing shitty things like running over my dogs that got out on the rode(if that baby wasnt born in the first place to grow up and drive a car it wouldnt have hit my dog), filling up parking spots at wall martt, burning all the coal, gasoline, and fuel that could be used to make MY life easier. Sometimes they even grow up and turn out to be shitty fucking terrorists or fanatics and blow a bunch of people up. They go to school with guns and mow everyone down because they played a video game where they shoot things. And one of the worst things they do: They have babies and they think "im going to keep my baby im a tough momma!" and the cycle continues! They just sit back, dont work, get more food stamps and WIC for the next baby... get in my way on the road when there out to buy groceries with them stamps. Then they scream and cry and blubber about how hard life all is, and how easy mine is or about how much freedom I got. Well shiat use the damn rubbers? Oh, there only like 80-90% effective so there pointless...

 

If they want to know if the kid's on the way why not ask them if they wanna watch? It's intrusive, but some people don't think about it, they just ask. Which I think is stupid.

 

I think it took about five years of marriage to go from 'I want grandkids. You're selfish' to the whole inlaw family calling us smart for not having kids.

 

Ugh, I hate this. I've been with my boyfriend for two years and I occasionally get that question. But in my mind, I'm thinking.. I've only been with this guy for two years. He already has a daughter, who is four. I'll babysit, sure, but OBVIOUSLY his previous relationship from which he accidentally made a baby didn't work out. No, I'm about to be 22, and I don't think babies will add to the adventure I want my life to be... I want to open a greenhouse, I dont need to have any kids running underfoot...

 

Yeah you probably shouldn't have kids

But look on the brighter side of things, depending on your insurance vasectomies are pretty much free (least it was in my case). Figure the cost of having a kid is (or was) roughly 10K, so yeah insurance will gladly pay a 1/10 of that to ensure they won't have to pay 10/20/30k later on. That said if you have it done and ever decide you want to reverse it down the road, then the reversal is very expensive and is only a 50% chance it will work. Just some food for thought...

 

i get the same thing and im a woman! people keep asking oh you and blah blah have been together for so many years, when are you gonna have kids? NEVER!! thats when! and its not selfish! there are so many unwanted babies in the world, and technically i think that having kids is selfish! the world is already breaking with over population and you wanna keep having kids? hell i know several people with over 5 kids! seriously close your legs! i mean even china has a limit to how many kids you can have and i say america do it! or at least make it to where people have to have over 100 iq to reproduce!! at the very least!

 

The sad truth is, you need a license to have a pet, to drive a car, or to practice law, although you don't need a license to have kids... And I agree there are way to many idiots out there having kids.

I remember when I was a kid growing up, a single woman who lived down the street from he had like 6 or more kids. She didn't have a job and basically just kept having more kids as she'd get more money from the state for each one. How F'ed up is that???

 

I couldn't even read all that. Unreadable.
But let's just say I can guarantee my children will never run over anyones dog (on purpose) as my children are taught to respect and care for animals. And I highly doubt my children will ever take a dollar of YOUR tax money as my children will be taught that hard work is a good thing.

Anyways... you seem to have a lot of anger. So, whatever.
Oh and one more thing....My children have never been fed anything that was paid for with food stamps or even WIC or any type of government assistance (not that it's any of your business). My husband makes enough to support his own family.

Generalizations annoy me dude...
And btw, if you're gonna bitch about my children (because my children are one..and soon to be two of the children in the world) then maybe I should bitch that YOU are breathing MY CHILDREN'S AIR. Yes?

 

Yea, I know of ppl like that too....

Well, I am married with my second on it's way soon...
and after this one I am either getting my tubes died or my husband's getting a vasectomy. Two children is enough for us. We CAN afford two, but not much more than that and I'm getting too old to be having more kids after this. So, yep. Happy with two here.




anyways I have NO PROBLEM with people not wanting to have kids...
matter of fact ppl who wouldn't be good parents it's GOOD is they realize that and decide not to have children.
But I find it annoying when ppl like the OP bitch about other people choosing to have kids. Everyone makes their own choice and what does it matter what other people do?

 

Your the one starting to make it personal not I just remember that. I may like to discuss/complain about controversial things and if your looking for a troll competition we'd better PM cuz it wont play out well here.
Juz lemme bitch! If people dont like reading it, they either wont read it, or wont pay any attention.

 

The generalizations and making it seem like it was about everyone's kids annoyed me but yea, I know you didn't mean me and sure, if you wanna bitch about it, go ahead and bitch.