I'll be sleeping with other gals soon...

I'm sorry but I need to say this, I joined these fourms for one reason, to discuss sexual topics, I belong to another website dedicated to just that topic (fetlife.com). Anyways I realize there are always rude, or untrusting people on forums, but really? I post a single serious topic, and suddenly I'm called a troll (no offense taken to the first two that called me that I can see you are good people) and people who clearly have not read any of the post explaining the situation and my views and reason for posting about it.

Of course since the topic is coming from a male, somehow that makes me "controlling", "selfish", "a bad guy?".

I'm sorry but really?! I'm sorry but that's (insert choice swear word here) ridiculous, the only bad thing about me my girlfriend has to deal with is that I'm grumpy in the morning. Honestly I just don't feel very welcome here at all, not trying to complain but it's the truth. It's just I'm fairly sure I haven't said anything to deserve such rudeness.

 

So you can go out to others but she can't. She is satisfied but you are not,,,
K not finding either truth here or you are leaving bits out, not sure but the bit at the end of my post was for humor, don't be too offended, I have a sick sense of humor and it peeks it's head out now and then especially when I find someone idea kinda funny.
My point is if she isn't doing it for you and you need others you probably need someone who does it all for you and you do it all for her. Mixing with others isn't good for her or your health it's kind of scary even.

 

Not everyone feels that way, i know i dont and i did read the whole of your post, feel free to PM me

 

This is what irks me,,, you want to roam but she can't and she must worried what diseases you will bring home because obviously she is still gonna have to get sex from someone, would be you? Or who,,, would be worried about who will drag your butt out of her life because as you said, she is satisfied with you,,, K if I am satisfied with my man I sure don't want him touching others, would rather know what's holding him up from being satisfied with me. You see where I am coming from? And if my honesty hurts you instead of tells you how I see it then I am sorry I didn't give what you wanted. Next time say what you like.
I am really weird about how a relationship should work and that takes work and it should also be fair.
And I feel for her that she isn't enough but must wait around to let you find others who might be. I know I have unrealistic ways of thinking.

 

1) you look no older than 15-17 in your pics. In which life were you a giggalo?

2) yes, relationships are not stress free and easy 100% of the time. it sounds like you two are too young and incompatible to make things work - so you think introducing more women into the situation will help. Well why doesn't she get a second guy to help her emotional side as well? Hows that sound ?

3) she doesn't deserve you. she deserves much better treatment.

 

I'd like to hear from the OP's girlfriend.
"she gets upset with herself and me that she can't satify me" concerns me. Being upset because one doesn't meet another's unusual expectations suggests that she might be more concerned with meeting the OP's desires than she is in sticking up for her own.

Is she worried that the OP might leave her if she didn't agree to this?

Did the OP unknowingly use her attachment to him to manipulate her?

Is she really confident enough in the relationship to say "No" when she wants to?

I'm sure the OP knows that he is not a reliable source for that information. He is limited to only reporting what she says. If she isn't secure in the relationship, what she says may not be what she really feels.

The fact that the OP asked the question shows that he is concerned about similar issues. My guess is that he doesn't trust himself to see past the "Yippie! I get a free pass!".

 

I understand that, I have such a humor myself. Also yes I realize all that, that's the whole reason for this post, no I'm not entirely comfortable with any of it.

As I said it was not my idea to begin with, also sorry I never lie. Not lying is a rule I live by for years now, I use to be a very bad lier. As such I swore I would never lie again. I'm honest to the point of insanity.

 

Also not too much of a problem, some of course think this is strange but I always make sure me and my partners are screened. Of course that's not a
guarantee all the time but still.

 

I'm actually 22, and have much more experience then I probably should (not just sexual). As for the rest of what you said, lol well in order to prevent another annoyed rant it's not worth responding to. Sorry.

 

If I wanted to manipulate someone I would, I'm quite good at it. Also yes she is insecure, however not due to me, in fact before she met me she couldn't even stand up for her, if were being honest here I GAVE HER A BACKBONE. Which if were being honest does get annoying (I wanna see this movie!, I don't, oh well were going anyways,...yes Hun)

Also no I said whenever she tells me to stop, I stop. She's always my first
priority, dispite what anyways may assume, this is her idea and her convincing me. Not the other way around.

On the last part, wrong however I just don't trust the idea in general.
I'm a guy with a large sexual history, of course I'm excited by the idea. I can admit that. But..I am also worried about the effects it may have on our relationship, which again dispite what some may assume I hold dearly.

 

Do you honestly think that her not feeling like she satisfies you and you having sex with other woman is going to make her feel secure about herself? It doesn't take a lot of common sense to figure out that it won't.

If you really care about her feeling more secure about herself then she should be the one going out and getting it from other people. Nothing like being wanted by lots of people to make a person feel good about themselves.

If you are secure with yourself it should not be a problem! After all you feel you are a great lover and such a understanding guy so it is not like she would just leave you for one of these other guys right?

 

Again yet another pointless rude post not worth replying to, AND APPARENTLY IM THE TROLL?

 

I am not sure what was rude or pointless about the post? Just another view and some questions. That happens on forums! Sorry if my point of view is not the same as yours. I never said you were a troll and I do not troll myself. Good luck finding a forum where everyone tells you what you want to hear and agrees with everything you say. When you find it let me know.

 

It seems Luvat you have a belief and you'd like nothing else but for us to justify it so you can feel right about it,,, this is not me being rude or sticking up for your senseless girl friend,,, this is me saying even tho I don't know you I will not lie to you. I won't lie to anyone, it's not in me, you asked for opinions not lies.
And as said above you will not find a forum that has people who will just lie to you,,, if you do let us know because there are a lot of things I would like justified too that I know wouldn't work in the real world,,, again, I am not being rude I am being honest.
Go take care of your relationship and your woman, satisfy her and she will satisfy you. There is truth.

 

People have a real hard time understanding that something that isn't part of their reality may be part of other people's reality. Also, everything that's out of the ordinary is met with a lot of antagonism. And many think the only way to talk to others is being unkind. Bullying and humiliating have become the norm in communication, mainly on the internet. The benefit of the doubt doesn't exist and people on the net are guilty till proven innocent, instead of the other way around...

Sad times. To top it all, people also forget that behind funny avatars and anonymous aliases, there are human beings that should be treated with a minimum of courtesy and respect.

Anyway...

OP, there are people with low sex drives but an open mind who genuinely are OK with their partners finding sexual satisfaction elsewhere. Sometimes the relationship seems worth keeping and one partner, knowing sex isn't important for him/her as it is to the other person, decides an open relationship (OR) is the way to keep everybody happy.

But it doesn't sound like the woman you talk about is one of these people. I have the impression she didn't think of the implications, and neither did you, deeply enough. You're worried she may suffer with it when it happens. That's the least of you concern. She's a fragile person, in the sense she isn't an adult yet. Her age may be right, but she's immature. You both are.

Going on with it would be taking advantage of something an immature person has come up with while distressed. She doesn't wanna lose you. She's suffering. You say it. She thinks that's a solution. She may be eager to sort it out and even be pushing you to do it, but this isn't the kind of thing one decides when there's a problem.

OR are wonderful, but people in them thrive when it's something both wanted and both decided for when everything was OK.

Who knows, you may go ahead with it and it works. But that would be really an egoistic attitude from your part. Why? You say you're concerned she may suffer. Well, in your posts you make it clear she is already suffering. The suggestion for a lopsided OR came from within this state of insecurity. She came up with it in her agony of feeling inadequate for you. That is suffering.

You have described her as someone very immature, quite simple. This simple person is distressed and, with her usual lack of common sense, came up with a solution.

You're sexually frustrated and eager to have sex with other women. The good guy you wanna be is making you respect the honorable kind of time of being reluctant before jumping in and accepting her proposal.

You're young and in the right time to make mistakes that can be blamed on youth. But one is never too young to be responsible. If you do the wrong thing, at least own up to it, for you know it'd be wrong.

The problem isn't an OR. The problem is an OR decided by an immature person without common sense in times of psychological distress.

 

Just looking things over I haven't seen anyone being mean or rude but putting their honest opinion as was asked out to the OP.
Mind you this guy says his GF is without any sense,,, ouch,,, if she only knew,,, and she doesn't please him,,, another ouch and he wants to roam but she can't.
That in all honesty could be seen as trolling for shock value or seen that he doesn't have any respect for her as a woman, as his girl friend, the one he goes to bed with. Sorry but this could even bring out anger from Internet posters (because we are real as you said) who would feel for her and her situation. Remember she probably isn't reading this and probably has no idea. Me, I feel for her, she might need a new man herself who would see her for what she would hope to be to a good man even if she is smart but has no sense. Again, it's just my opinion and we were asked for that. Anything I have said, he said before me. I have made nothing up.

 

I agree with you SallySmart, he's just looking for someone to validate his ideas.

Luvat, you asked for opinions. You didn't hear what you wanted, so you became dismissive and rude to people here. It just so happens most answerers find your proposal disagreeable. Go back to your sandbox kiddo.

 

I add my consensus that he is looking for validation.

It's also possible this entire thread is a lie, don't let a forum post trigger such an emotional response because we can't verify it's truth anyway.

 

Police yourself and manage your own emotions not mine, I don't need to be told what to do Thanksssss

 

That wasn't aimed at you. That comment was said to the general public of everybody, and I take my own advice too.