So I *want* to like this guy

Ha. Thanks for the insights guys. Dispite my lack of eloquence with language that's just how I feel about it. Rephrasing will only help so much. I'd be tickled to nail him but I doubt I could do it without attachment seeing how I've psyched myself out by premeditating a crush.

 

Uuhmm .... dunno. Either you have a crush or you don't. Sounds a bit forced when you say you want to grow a crush ...

Could be a red flag but only the future can tell. On the other hand, only YOU can figure how YOU should be coping with being single.

Hard to say from where I sit but my guess would be competitive rather than protective. You "want to grow a crush" .... maybe she's already further down the road than you think.

That's alright as long as you don't make it a habit (dropping your standards that is). If you wanna fuck you go fuck. It's not really anybody's business so long as you don't go hurting people.

Well, he for one should be able to.
But if you don't pursue things you might never know. Just don't go running into a relationship just for relationships sake. Being single is a status symbol, you know.

 

:smilielol5: :smilielol5:

I don't know how the heck you ended up with Cher.

All I could think of was Marvin Gay(e) "Sexual Healing".

Pun (maybe) intended.

 

The gentle healing is a bit lighthearted. Basically means good sex. There's a thing when you get out of a really long relationship. Most of your friends have never thought they were in love. Not for more than a few months but you thought you had your soul mate and you've just learned you were wrong.

 

Her last album, which came out last year, which wasnt bad if you dont mind a whole lot of autotune....was totally and obviously aimed at guys that dont live with women and buy party outfits for their four cats

 

In that case, you should spend more time with him and see if he really is the right guy for you.

HOWEVER.............

That's what some of us have noticed and have expressed concern about. A crush isn't something that is typically premeditated. It happens naturally. That's why The Ghost also said below:

Some time before I met my girlfriend, I contemplated on pursuing a romantic relationship with a different girl. She was attracted to me and I found her attractive, too. It's just that that wasn't enough to spark any romantic flame within me. But this was a brief point in my life where I doubted I'd ever find that "right" girl, and my mind was contemplating on compromising. Like you, that was an instance where I considered wanting to push that attraction to the next level. Only, my heart just wasn't in it. And go figure, I was trying to force the whole situation upon myself, and in turn upon the girl, too. A very good friend of mine talked me out of it saying that was so unlike me to go about romance in that way, and there I was able to prevent myself from doing something that wasn't fair to the girl, or myself. She and I are still friends, but that's all we'll ever be. I met my girlfriend some time later, with whom everything seems so natural and so right.

But anyway, if this is about sex, then you might as well forget about the crush part. And more importantly, you might as well reconsider who you're about to fuck. I understand sex plays a big part in your healing process(or whatever it is that you're going through right now) and that in itself is okay, but trust me, NOT ALL GUYS actually want sex when they are hurting inside. Some guys actually want a girl who could be their best friend, who would wrap them in her arms in a protective embrace and let them cry like babies.

I don't know if this friend of yours is being protective of the guy in question, or if she's jealous. But if the former, then I could actually understand where she's coming from for the above stated reasons. If you genuinely want to date him, then proceed. But if sex is at the core of it all, you might consider taking a moment to think in terms of what that might do to his heart. Now, if the friend is against the whole thing because of jealousy, then you may have a competition. I shall leave it at that.

 

Don't ever date married men. Now he's not married though. Give him a few months, then go for it.

 

No no. Certainly not just about sex. I don't like to type on the phone so everything is brief. I think about him sometimes and I think about being sweet to him and I imagine sex would be good with him.

But I know I am wanting to fall in like with someone.

I'm not going to pursue him at all. Wont even flirt.

This other guy asked me out the other day. I don't feel the proverbial chemistry with him but maybe I'll just go out with him to practice dating since I've never done it. Doesn't seem as enchanting in my heaf, casual dating as opposed to growing a big fat crush.

 

So, in other words, you are going to chicken out

 

Basically.

 

Go for the one youve got the hots for, try that at least once in your life, doesnt mean any where near as much if you get rejected if you know he was a little out of your league

And by go for, i mean actually say to him you want hot and heavy, not just touching his arm and looking at him stoopid

 

It isn't like you wouldn't've guessed. All that juju hot air can only mean one thing!