How do you guys handle mooches?

:afro:

He isn't though. And he may work more than 2 hours a day (I think I originally said a few hours but...I don't know) but I doubt if it's more than 16 hrs/week. I actually do like the guy so I figure how he lives his life is none of my business....even if I decide to change my plans to help him because that's on me...not on him. But, as with most people like that, my generosity only goes so far.

That said, I have other friends who I will do anything in my power to help with no questions asked when they get in a jam but it's different.

 

I totally understand. I myself have no problems helping someone out once in a while but if they ignore advice and keep asking for it over and over...no.

 

There are lots of hobos here. I give them a stern look and nod my head silently when they ask me for a smoke.

It usually works.

 

He doesn't sound like a good friend, but of course I can't judge that. I have a friend who I have helped so much with his cars and trucks I could add it up to over $10,000 worth of labor (conservatively) based on my profession. But I don't care one bit because I have called him in serious binds, mostly attached to my last relationship.. and he would always show up at my house to pick me up, blunt in hand and ready to help move and take my mind of drama at home or what have you. When other people were busy, and believe me this was an ongoing process. THAT is a real friend and I will always go out of my way for him.

No offense but that guy just sounds like a mama's boy or someone who always had a safety net and in turn is entitled. I'd be like fuck you bro deal with it yourself, you constantly drag me down.

Exactly. There was a time when I prioritized drugs, even been homeless before. Now I'll buy drugs if I feel like it to give everyone a good night, because money is easy come, easy go when you work your ass off. People like him need to be left alone walking home 3 miles in a whiteout blizzard to figure it out on their own, or they will never progress. I'd honestly suggest some tough love if you do consider him a friend.

 

pretty easy, I just say 'getchyer own' .. works every time.

 

Avoidance

 

Them being family or close friends makes things complicated though. Probably depends on situation in that case

 

Actually, that is a really good way to say it. That mentality is exactly what got me where I am today. I walked so far by myself that I realized I didn't need anyone to walk with me for me to keep walking forward. I was left alone in the blizzard when I was maybe 10 or 11.

 

Blizzard of 96, we had to get from my friends house to my house to try to combine the food in both of our houses and not feel hungry. My mom was in Tahiti or France or South America, who knows. His mom was a lazy drunk.

We did it this way. '1-2-3, collapse' lay there and catch your breath. '1-2-3-collapse'.

3 miles in waist deep snow. That's what I think about anytime I have wanted to ask for help and then just do it myself.

 

Damn man! I was only using blizzard as a metaphor....you actually meant...fucking blizzard!!

 

I did that a few weeks ago. A friend texted me saying he was staying in another friends shed. I didn't answer. The guy has been homeless for almost the entire 20+ years I've known him. He will never change and that's fine as long as it doesn't affect me. But I know he would have asked to stay for a few days (which really means a few weeks) so I just ignored it. I did kind of feel a little bad later when I found out that he stayed in that shed for 2 weeks in near zero temps....but damn...I'm not down with letting people couch surf for weeks at a time.

 

Blizzard of 96 was the first time I ever saw snow (atleast consciencely)... I was 7 & lived in FL til I was 5 lol. God that makes me feel old.

 

not as old as i feel after reading that prissy

 

Me too. We also had a blizzard of 96. I was a junior in high school. Every time I hear Oasis-Wonderwall I think of that blizzard. It was on every morning when I turned my tv on to see if school was cancelled again.

 

youre not helping matters either ruby, working in central london at the time of that song, how time flies

 

wow thats really sad!!!

idk how I would handle that. probably offer a place to stay but let him know he needed to work around the house and help out like everyone else.

you said you have your own business.. could he come help out there? Have you offered him a job ever?