Hello again, I need some advice on a current situation for me. Last weekend my partner and I where laxin out at home before I had to go to work. A friend of ours came around to visit, collect a Christmas gift and just catch up for a bit. As time passed my partner and our friend had a few beers and I had to leave for work. Before I left I was asked to bring more beer home when I finish so I knew this little catch up was going to turn into more and more drinks. But this is not uncommon and I'm completely ok with it. Anyways, I finish work to find three txt on my phone saying "love you have a good night at work". "you have my eftpos card!!". And the third saying "we at the pub, can you please bring me down a t shirt". I do all the things I've been asked, go to the pub to meet my partner and our friend who are very drunk when I arrive. Happy and laughing loudly but drunk lol. I get a round in, and a few more and in no time ive caught up to their state and somehow the convosations have become not just happy, joking kinds but also a few more negitive ones including my partners dreams of me cheating on her and a discussion about when we first got together and she stayed a night at her ex's while i was at home wondering where the hell she was. This was a long long time ago, she fessed up the next moring and nothing happened so we moved on from it. Long story short the mood has changed a bit and i am feeling like the third weel. I notice and decide that i will try and stop the negative convosations and lighten the mood but after another round it is closing time and we are all a bit messy but get back home and continue with a few more drinks. My girl and our friend start a convo about a item they took from the pub and joke about how it is my partners bacauae it's in our house and the friend jokes that it is hers as it is in her handbag. They in their drunk state decide they need to "phone a friend" to help solve this problem and my partner starts calling people in her contacts. She try's a friend from work, two friends from another country and then decides to call a "friend" from our town. I say "friend" because my partner claims that this is what this girl is... Just a mate. But I am annoyed. This is not just a mate, it's a girl she used to fuck and at one stage was considering taking on a relationship with her even though she was pregnant to her ex boyfriend.That's a big deal. My partner used to come home when she lived with me and my ex and talk about how she really liked her ( at the time I was toying with my feeling between my current partner and her and she knew how I felt so in a way was throwing this in my face) Going back to the current situation I am not impressed she has rung her of all people and to make it worse when she answers my partner puts her on speaker and the girl says "is your partner not there" giving the impression that my girl talks to her when I'm not around. I suck it up and try to ignore my feelings about the convo but I'm still pretty mad. I even speak to the girl on the phone myself to show my partner I am being a bigger person and not getting jealous over nothing. The convo finishes and I am not even sure of the outcome but my girl decides she needs food and so do the rest of us, before I know it she is throwing something in the over and I am commenting in how she never cooks. Like ever!! Then she is storming off to bed and I follow to make sure she's ok, I am told to get out of her face and leave her alone. I know she means it so I leave her and go back to our friend who by this stage is feeling very uncomfortable but eating the food that has been cooked and so I sit with her and she talks a little about how much my partner loves me and I agree with her and say about how I love her too then she doesn't want any more food I help sort a bed out for her and she goes to sleep. The next day my girl is still not talking to me, I try and approach her about the night before but are told to get out of her face and she goes to work. I am scrolling through a social media sight my girl and I use to see a comment posted from the night before implying I made my girl feel "small" I am blowen away and don't understand how until I remember the "she never cooks" convo. A few hours later I get a txt saying that things have to change big time or we won't make it. Also that I am never to cook for my partner again, ever!!! I agree with her about things changing and tell her I've decided I'm not going to drink anymore. But that I will still cook for her, after all that's what I do and I love it. It gives me such happiness to do it for her. She once again through txt says its not going to happen she will not eat it and that's final! It's been two days since, we are talking and she has given me a hug and told me she loves me. she thinks I will not be able to not drink again, asked me how long i planned on doing it fir and i said until our wedding in about three months then see how things are. I have told her I'm committed. I would do anything for her and I feel that this will be good for me as much as it will be good for our relationship but she will still not let me cook for her. It hurts me soo much, we can't have a marriage where I never cook dinner for my wife... I have asked her what I can do to change her mind but she gets instantly angry and says I can't do anything and to get off her (bacauae I was holding her hand) and to go away. I cry over this it upsets me so much. She knows this too although I take myself away as my partner has always thought that crying was just a sympathy trick and doesn't have any real feeling behind it. My girl has always been nervous to cook for me but i have always told her she has no need that I still burn things and stuff it all up too. It's just food. But this has really shaken our relationship and I don't know what to do. I think to myself just give it time but is that it... Is that all I can do is wait and see or should I be doing or saying something else.?? Please if anyone has any idea I would love to hear it It's so important to me to be able to cook for her again as its one of the ways I show her love and affection, she is not a affecionate person so we don't hug or kiss or touch very often. I know I've hurt her, made her feel small so what can I do to make it right?
tl;dnr you may want to post in the relationship or lesbian forums the intro forum is mostly meant for a quick intro, like "hi I'm [x], I'm from [y]. I came to this site because of [z]. Hope to have fun here and meet some folks!"
