I'm sure you're all fed up of those confused girls asking about your opinion, but...

... I would be super thankful to hear what you think.

First of all, I spent the last couple of day binge-reading this forum and I sove it! You girls are so open about everything.

Okay, so I'm a 21 year old girl, im at Uni and for the past 3 years I've been playing rugby.
I have never really questioned my sexuality until the beginning of this year, even though I had a huge crush on one of my female friends when I was 15. We even kissed in our tent when we went on a holiday together with a group of people. But I thought I'm young and it's a phase or whatever. I've had a few boyfriends in the mean time, and I have a guy that I really like right now, that is not my boyfriend though.

I am at a loss though with my feelings, cause almost a year ago a new girl started playing on our team, I didn't even like her at first, but we got really good friends with time. She is gay (girls playing rugby stereotype alarm! :crowngrin, ten years older than me and probably the most wonderful person I have ever met. As soon as we were friends I started having dreams of her at night and when we have a quiet moment and look at each other I really, really want to kiss her. I am person that loves hugging and touching people I like (not in a sexual way, it's just how I show people that I like them). And whenever I see her I almost never not touch her. The other girls on the team started making jokes about out, teasing us for likeing each other and we have also been mistaken for a couple twice already while going out. I loved it when that happened, she just laughed.

She is away now, 5 more weeks out of 7, on the other side of the world, and I miss her so so much! With the guy I'm seeing it's awful, even though I like him I don't want him to touch me or anything. And I wish I could take a plane and see her.

I have a close (male) friend whom I have told about this and he said I should go for it and kiss her or tell her that I really like her. I am very scared though, cause 1. I'm very confused about my sexuality and 2. I don't want to lose her as a friend, because I care for her very much.

What do you think I should do?
Thank you so much for your help!

 

Oh, also: English isn't my first language, so sorry if I made mistakes.

 

Go ahead, girl. Follow ur heart, if u dont do anything, you will live with regret :bobby:

 

I agree with Kyco! The only way to figure anything out is to experience it. If you don't put it out there it'll stagnate, or pause your friendship. You'll feel like you're standing still and then tension will start to build. Small things will start to annoy both of you and then the fighting begins.

I've been there. Free yourself.

 

I'll get back to the question at hand later. I saw your second post and was shocked. English isn't your first language?! I never would have been able to tell(of course I only skimmed).

 

Thank you jerlene!
I have an update: she was on holiday for 7 weeks and in the meantime i had my first experience with a woman. I told her and she is quite obviously jealous. Im not sure it that is something positive or negative though... :-/

 

Hi, Jackie! A lot of your story sounds like mine. I had a crush on my best friend while back at my first college. But I wouldn't dare act on it because at the time I thought being gay was unnatural (I was raised strict Christian, and I had been fighting my lesbian tendencies since I was a kid). So, when I left the college and never saw her again, I cried my eyes out for months! I really missed her, but I couldn't get in touch with her because she was in Peru.

My rambling has a point: go for it. If she turns out to like you back in that way, then you'll have your best friend as the love of your life (can't get better than that). But if you don't do anything about your feelings, you will regret it, I promise.

You have to take risks to find out what you're made of :2thumbsup: :love:

 

In regards to seeing that guy, it doesn't seem like you have the chemistry you're looking for so I don't see how it'll go forward since you're focusing on someone else.

I think the choice here is, is the friendship more important to you than your feelings? Or are you continuing the friendship because of your feelings? If it's the later than your crush means more to you than the friendship. Just lay it all on the table and be open to, leave the option of continuing to be friends. Unless you both don't believe in the friend zone, but from what I'm reading now the romance thing is more dominant than the friendship and if that's not dealt with it'll be more upsetting than just continuing the friendship.