WOMAN asks me to hang out/sets up day/date --

You definitely come off as too eager and easy, women like a challenge.

If you are actively out looking for women, you should expect to have to game them. It has become the norm that when we approach women with whom we have no previous acquaintance, we gotta follow certain guidelines, play that game.

I'm guessing this was a Japanese/native Asian girl? From your username and the way her messages are written. If so, it is a whole different game. Which I'm sure you know, if you are in Japan/Asia.

Either way, a lot of the things you have said are way too heavy. Too direct. When you say things like "what does that mean? are you blowing me off or are you interested in me like I am in you!?
lol. fuck. wanna talk on the phone?" I guarantee you, even if she were interested in you before, that interest has just waned a whole lot. She definitely does not want to talk to you on the phone after reading that message. Your follow up is not much better, and I'd say there is a pretty good chance she doesn't have a boyfriend, she just wanted an out.

The type of girl who is real and up front is a rare thing indeed. Many (most?) girls expect a mutual challenge.

I think LetLovinTakeHold is onto something. If you stop seeing your interactions with women as just part of the process of getting them to have sex with you, and try to have fun with them, enjoy their company and - possibly most importantly - enjoy yourself, you will have a much better time, and stand a much better chance of getting laid.

edit: Your age and theirs also matters. If you are mainly approaching younger girls, you should expect to have to play the game more. When I used to hunt, I would be almost a different person with a girl who was 19-20, than with a girl 30+.

 

whoa whoa please ignore the fuck out of that. I was well past taking it easy/simple after she skipped. Refer to just the first post if you wanna criticize my approach.


I know exactly what happened. I have that strong aura about myself. Most socializing is cheap as fuck and about who can say the coolest joke while keeping a social distance from each other.

Def. more-so in western society.

 

Yes, enjoy the company and enjoy yourself. Don't think about what you want all the time.

 

If you don't really enjoy that kind of socializing it might show. Either that you are not 100% sincere, or for example that you are not comfortable enough.
I do not want to criticize, I try to give advise. But I of course have not been there so I included maybe and possibly in my post I'm also not an expert at all. I do make the coolest jokes though (and enjoy myself and the company, instead of being busy/irritated with my expectations)

 

I sympathise Kokujin.The last piece of talent it "seemed" like I was getting somewhere close to pulling plain just ran out of the room at a certain juncture and didn't return.She was shirking at the very thought that someone so lowly as I could be a potential boyfriend.Prior to that,and we had met before over a period of several days,we were clicking and making connections.But the moment I was brave enough to overtly come onto her even the teeniest bit,she got cold feet.I agree with you to some degree about the politics of dating and the games we males have to play...Women aren't always perfect,and they need to know it.I respect you for not giving up on getting a girl.Me either.

 

thanks. I think it's more I'm scaring these broads away cuz I am a high-connection person (even when I don't want to be), and date-rs, and Westerners are obsessed with keeping things meaningless and fun. At least until the 100th date when people finally have the balls to truly be themselves?


I will just STFU more till meeting in person. (I think) she enjoyed that enough to ask me to hang so.. :/


I could argue dating is supposed to be awkward, heavy, and somewhat handled with an open heart but I'm not about to try to change the majority at this point.


Interestingly enough, I find that I'm usually in the odd/heavy boat when it comes to socializing too. It is/has really become just a facade of happy emotions and jokes, but I guess that's what people want. I do make connections/new friends easily though, so there's some fun to be had in that area.

Dating? meh... I wanna be real and up-front. That can be awkward. This type of stuff happens.

Or my heart-on-sleeve shit isn't exactly the most manly front.

Till the next one is incompatible with me. :daisy::bigcry:

 

shoulda gone to relatinoships board, they would've appreciated your problems more...

don't you always do this, though OP? I feel like I remember a few threads likke this...

 

If you're not the player type (and I most certainly am not), the key into a woman's panties if you really like her is to become her friend first. Show her that you are looking for more than just a piece of ass, and actually do things to show you care for her. Don't go into it all hot and heavy. Utilize some control. I am not the first person to suggest this in this thread, but am reiterating the point.

 

People need warm up time.
Nobody drops their wall, even on a first date. It's kinda common sense.
If you don't really know someone, why would you make yourself vulnerable to them.
Everyone has been burned by somebody. It's natural to feel things out first.

Hell, this even goes beyond dating.
Two new people join the forum.
One person lurks a bit, gets the feel for the forum and slowly turns into a full-time poster that fits in.
The other person makes a big political thread right from the start, because after all, that's what they came here for: they get flamed to high hell because this new highly opinionated person comes in all strong.

This isn't about playing games. This is common sense on how to deal with social situations.

 

everyone's different. I'm more than ready to balls-up and speak the truth, in the moment. IMO that's living and I don't like wasting time not doing it.

Alas, I will just continue to stfu more till I have something in person. Risk looking like I'm eager and solidifying date plans. (oh so bad..was I not just doing the same thing you said -- trying not to get burned?).


but who I am at my core seems to conflict with all these social rules anyways. :sunny:

I frankly can't tell you when OP will learn. Seems to tie very closely with how I fit in this world.

 

But when it's YOU that is the different one, why do you expect everyone else in the world to conform to you, just so that you can get laid.

 

get laid? i haven't had a serious date in 5+ years. It goes beyond getting laid. It goes to being romantically taken serious and not crucified for a little "myself."

It goes beyond shallow-ass-measures like "if a guys texts are only 4-5 words and he only texts you once a blue moon, he's got options and is a winner" -- get him.


And if a guy, heaven forbid reveals his interest without making it sound MANLY -- girl run away. He's a bitch!

 

Haha poor girl

 

I'm confused, you said you met her at a social event then you talk about meeting her in person for the first time.

This one is a loss but I'll try to give some input which will help you on the next one. If you did meet her out, as in face to face, don't ever do something like take it to facebook. At least until you are hanging out a few times and had an intimate moment or two, at least a kiss. When you did that you went backwards with the whole thing.

The internet has some serious flaws when it comes to actualizing human interaction and ultimately getting laid. If you did meet her online, it has the potential of developing, but more than anything what you could hope for is a good friend out of that. It's way easier to have flow of consciousness type exchanges online, which is bad when it comes to getting women. You share too much too fast. For example, asking her to be your girlfriend. Really? Come on bro.

I've had one serious gf I met online. A lot of connections that could have been something great but it never works because of the lack of natural aspects of courting/mating. And I've hooked up with a lot, but it's like.. you talk about sex or start talking because both of you are looking for that, so you meet up exclusively to fuck.

By far the majority of my partners and, most importantly, real dates and relationships have started from face to face interaction. And let lovin nailed it, it always happens when you don't give a fuck.. not from the point of view you are bitterly talking about from rejection (don't mean that as a criticism, we've all been there), but from being happy with yourself and your life and friends or the moment at hand. Drugs, music, building a car, whatever the fuck it is. You are just being you and don't give two shits whether you close on that broad who keeps eyeing you or not.

 

^^^^^ listen to this guy he knows what he's talking about.

 

lol. They'll just call you a woman-hater and all your constructive criticism will bounce off their woman-hater card magnetic shield. :biggrin:

 

Or have a sense of humor or charisma....something that is fun to hang out with. You cant talk people into it.....they need to want to.

 

That was subtle..