Zendik

I just read Arol's rant. I think she's trying to say that all history since the old stone age is nothing more than the history of slavery & greed. So where does she leave us? I guess we have to go back to hunting & gathering, but with computers?

Arol calls on humanity to shed its leaders and seek a direct communion with God, yet the very organization she is in charge of, she runs like a cross between an army camp and a promiscous monestary. Total control. Arol won't let her followers do exactly what she's asking them to do, to abandon their leaders. If any Zendik goes over Arol's head and straight to God, they'll get kicked out!

 

Siah here, checking in again...

To anyone new to this conversation, I live at Zendik Farm and have for years. I gave my answer to some of the more upsetting accusations here like 15 pages ago. The recent accusations seem to be just people studying Zendik's every move and spending all their time trying to think up ways to reinterperet the latest stuff on our website to sound bad.

I'm not so much replying because I think the guys who've posted constantly negatively through this thread are going to come around to seeing things my way, but just so people who have no first hand experience can hear our side of it.

The ongoing posters recent stuff doesn't even really bug me so much, it is just them watching our website obsessively and re-interperreting it to sound bad. Anybody could do that to anyone else who made public statements and made their life public through a website, "oh look at their house now." "oooh, that latest bit of writing was a rant."... You know, if we talk badly about some form of technology, "they want to go back to living in caves." Or, if we stick up for some form of technology "They are obsessed with selling out to buy gadgets.".... Like I say, I just give a big "jeeez" and shrug it off

BUT

What bugs me is, the visitor experts who (maybe) have visited and give their "objective" review of Zendik, and everybody discusses this review as if they are discussing Zendik Farm. On the last page, for instance, the guy who said that we now worship Wulf and ask him for psychic guidance and Arol went insane the day Wulf died. I can tell you, that person either NEVER visited this Zendik Farm or well, I don't know what could have led to that interpretation really. Still, the point that people post such non(or quarter, or half)-truths isn't what bugs me. It is the other people afterwards talking about it like they have just learned more FACTS about Zendik.

So, I haven't really put our side of the story, just counter-accusations and denials. If you want to check out Zendik, just go to http://www.zendik.org and read.

In closing, I'd like to offer a little class in re-interperretation. Truthfully, this is what reminded me to come by and check out what was happening over here. Yesterday, we recieved an email from a local (Pocahontas County, WV) white supremicist. He sent us a link to a white-pride forum. There, he posted stuff from our website, taken out of context to prove that we are a white-hate group. No, not that we are white and that we hate, but that we hate whites. Zendik kids have been born to parents of multiple races. Mr. white supremicist took the same Arol article that was just discussed here to prove that we hate whites. Because Arol feels connected to humanity throughout our evolution, obviously we have an anti-white agenda, right? Don't you guys agree? Someone said it in a web forum. It must be correct.

 

If people believe things it should be because they know it to be true,not because it was on the internet.I read this forum because of the things that people have to say and their opinions on certain issues.It is up to the reader to decide if they want to believe it or not.What bothers me is that when someone expresses an opinion on zendik there are people out there who attack and act as though people aren't allowed to say what they feel and think.I enjoy reading people's opinions about zendik.I also enjoy the comments from those of you that live at zendik.I think it is interesting though that there have been people that have posted and said that zendik was wonderful and such,but yet when they are asked to elaborate more on the subject they don't answer.Yes I know I am guilty of acting like a child and letting my emotions get the best of me when I post.It irritates me that when when I post something that I get messages from people saying bs to me and such.I know I should be the better person and ignore it.This forum, for me anyways,is enjoyable to read.Greenhornet brings up a lot of questions and I feel if more people from zendik would respond the debates on here would be something to really think about......okay I need to go, I have 3 hungry children ...peace

 

Hi everyone. I am new here and this is most likely not the best place for me to make my first post. However, this seems like a hot topic and I like to debate so I thought I would chime in.

Anyway I have no idea what this group is and I have never been there or known anyone who has. Hopefully this will make me impartial.

I must confess that I have not read every post in this thread but, I did get some of the highlights.

I apologize in advance if I upset anyone on either side of this debate/discussion.

When I read I think the first couple posts I thought this might be an interesting place then it goes down hill from there with some 37 pages of people bashing the place ( perhaps justifiably so ). I am just wondering if people are being too hard on them. (Just asking)

The first issue: the teasing and berating of new members. This sounds a lot like the hazing one might go through if you were to pledge to a fraternity in collage or the methods our armed services use in boot camp. Now I am not saying I condone or abhor such practices. I am just saying that they have a purpose ( in theory ).

Second issue: taking/ having people sign over their possessions. This too is something done in many communities religious or otherwise. If people willingly do so, then that is there choice to help support the community. However, I am concerned about the person who was kicked out after he signed over his inheritance. There was not a lot of facts disclosed about this. Does anyone know why he was kicked out? There is the possibility he may have some recourse but, I don’t know enough about that yet.

Third issue: “Being worked like a slave.” There were not a lot of specifics brought out about that either (At least not from what I read). I would imagine living in a self sustaining community would be hard work. What kind of work were people expected to do?

Forth: the sex stuff. Again, this is something common to many of these type of communities. This is another area where people have not disclosed alto of information about what goes on there. Just some vague innuendos from what I read. However, I am concerned about the use of coercion in that area. In stead they should find a way that people will feel comfortable with that lifestyle. Obviously, unprotected sex in not a good idea. If the stuff about minors is true then they need to be shut down and prosecuted. However, noone made any offers of proof about that. Even if the police were watching this thread they would not have enough info to act on anything.

With all that said. I think people should be made aware of what they are getting into and what is expected of them and if this farm is not doing that then, I would hope they would reconsider that practice. You or I may/may not agree with the rules or lifestyle these people chose to live but, it is their right to live it.

 

I must say that Siah is one of the Zendiks that I think is alright. That said, I would have to ask, is opinion fact and can it be seen as false? But wait! My opinion is based on fact!! Now where do we go from there?????
Bottom line is all I can do is give my opinion from my experience and well give my side of the time I was there.
As far as my last posts anyone who reads all the praise given to Arol and her iron handed way of re arranging her band and how all the "Art" is just a spin off of Arols can see that this "farm" or "New Culture" is that of, by and for Arol and the way she sees it. Really nothing wrong with that after all it's her gig.
Now just mosey on down to the Farm and check it out. You may notice that the long time members have little time for you and your adjustment. Why? Well, because only a few make it and as the Zendiks freely admit there is a member turnover problem. Now what does there ad say? Human beings needed? To do what? Live a better life? OK! Lets all saddle up and join the revolution!!! But remember the mysterious turnover rate............
Why on Earth would such numbers visit the Farm while only a tiny fraction have stayed for any significant amount of time?? Well maybe sometime during all these peoples visits they just got sick of the bullshit and left. I mean why do people leave, really...
The old timers don't put much energy into new people because they figure they'll be leaving soon anyway. So the cycle goes on and on and on.....
Go to there website. Look at their art, listen to their music and don't forget to read the all the praise given to Arol. When you're done add it all up.
Here's the lowdown on what your getting into by going to the Farm.
First, lets hope you're attractive to some of the members mostly the ones that have been there for more than ten years, it's not what you know but who you fuck in the early days of your attempt of living this good life.
Second. Whatever you art is be ready to reshape it into Arols vision, graphic stuff being dark and painfull while the music being somekind of painfull release of years of pain and denial. If you don't change your art be ready to be mucking the goat barn for a while....
Siah. Wolf said a lie cannot be sustained. If you can't see that everything at the Farm is all about Arol then I don't know what to think. A real leader doesn't stash out the store bought soy milk in her private fridge while the hands drink the good ole ready whipped up stuff. No, a real leader would take care of her people first and foremost. Where is the diversity? Why does Kyros and Arols and Revs and Lores art so similar? Why is it so dark and gloomey? Why wasn't Fools great art taken seriously? Oh because he didn't get it........
Great art has to imitate Arol.
Show me or tell me of how someone came to the farm with a different stlye or their own style of art that was accepted because I fail to see the diversity at the website.
A good leader should welcome and be gratefull for all the talents that people offer them. A good leader has no arrogance. A good leader does all they can to help their people develope into what they are capable of not what they think should be.
Why or even did Bugsy leave and Chen and Area not to mention Kord? I would guess it would be because they were not getting what they needed which brings this post full circle......

 

I think anytime you have a change in leaders there is going to be a change in the vision/philosophy of the group. That is likely to cause lots of people to get bent out of shape and cause them to harbor deep resentment against the group. I think that once things settle down a new group will form from that community. At least I hope that will be the case. Otherwise there is no way the group can sustain itself.

I wish some people from the zendik farm would post here and answer questions that people might have. Unfortunately they are not likely to do so. I don’t know anyone that would be willing to open themselves up to that kind of attack.

I e-mailed zendik farm a long time ago and I still have not received a reply. They must not be hurting from a lack of members too much or else I am sure I would have received a reply from them by now. If I did not live so far away from them I would go down and visit the farm and see things for my self.

Again please bear in mind that I am not on their side. I am not on your side. I am trying to stay as neural as possible until someone can sway me one way or the other.

However, again there is a vague accusation of sexual impropriety on their part. But, no actual allegation! I am sorry for not taking anyones word at face value. It is just that I have seen too many instances where sex was quite literally used as a weapon. It happens in divorce cases, employment disputes etc. Unfortunately, it happens all too often. So when people just make vague innuendoes it is hard to believe such allegations.

Anyway, I have searched for more info on the zendiks and I could not find anyplace (other than here) where people had bad things to say about them. All I found were some news articles and they all had positive things to say about the zendiks. (But I will keep looking) Even organizations that watch cults have nothing to say about zendik farm.

 

Siah, your stream of thought does not sound like someone who has all of thier marbles. There's something "off", something not quite right, it's as if part of your brain has been put to sleep. It must really suck to have forfeited your right to think for yourself. A high price for your "freedom". I do feel bad for you, I hope you help turn things around there or find a safe way out.

Listen GH, I respect your efforts to out these folks, but I don't think they are gonna admit to a darn thing, and why the hell would they, especially if they can make a weak argument that will somehow seem justified to a naive enough mind that has not yet figured out how they feel about zendik. Anyway, I've found that bottomfeeders get thier just desserts, one way or another. It's true.

In any case, keep fighting the good fight GH.

Peace.

 

Ahhhh....
Notice the lack of response. Siah is the guy that works in the computer room so my bet is that he has read my last post. Also notice the lack of any direct respone to me as Siah knows the truth of my time at the farm and in turn the truth of my posts.
Here's a little story. At the Orchard in Florida Aeras "partner" raised the question of how there was a seperation between the old timers and the rest of us that were, well the workers. Chen basically flipped out and said that this guy had no right to even bring up such a thing as the old timers had put in so much time they deserved to live in the Beach House and have special privledges and such. At the Beach House the old timers did their "work" decorating and moving things about the estate eating store bought organic goodies while the workers worked 12-16 hour days sleeping on the floors a foot apart from eachother. For one of the workers to bring up this fact was offensive and beyond Chens comprehension, I guess he did his 12-16 hours of work and it was time to pass the buck...
Chen needed to acknowledge this fact and thank everyone for their hard work perhaps even giving us some well earned time off instead of calling this guy a punk while publically humilliating him. As it was already brought to light public humiliation was and probally still is the practice.
The Zendiks still have much evolving to do and it can be a slow painfull process or a rather quick revolutionary one the choice is theirs. After 30+ years their member base is basically the same with people leaving as fast as they get their. No significant revolutionary gains have been achieved as far as helping the world become a better place, in fact the only significant impact they have made to date are the thousands of people that have been damaged by their single minded arrogance.
You'll find no Cob Buildings or true PermaCulture practices at the farm. You'll find no diversity in the art created at the Farm and you'll most likely be pissed if you spent any money for their so called "Music", I would be. You'll find the place divided into several classes. The Ultimate Arol class which is held only be Arol. The old timers who have been there 10-15-20 years. The people who have made it 5-10 years and of course the newbies.
The people that have been there 1-3 years are the ones that I had to watch out for as their grasp on being Arol like and caling people on their "crap" was maddening to say the least but other than your fellow Newbie most contact will be with this 1-3 years type Zendik.
The 5-10 years types. You may find a bit of relief with this group but don't count on them 100% of the time as they are finally grasping a bit of the privledges of not working 12-16 hour day of hard manual labor and actually are, if authorized, given the opportunity of dabballing in some form of art and are a little happier. Don't be surprised to find a couple that are just to busy and have better things to do than make you feel at home, Kord and Kyro come to mind here for me.....
The old timers. They're kind of a mystrey bunch as you'll see them mostly and meal times when the meeting are done. This is the group that basicaly do what they want while the newbies are busy mucking the goat barn, turning the shitters, banging away with hammers and painting, gardening and chasing chickens, you know keeping the place up. Contact with these folks will occur if they want to fuck you or if there is some kind of conflict going on. Around this group I had a feeling somewhat like a disposable lighter may have, needed for the moment but no grief when he time comes to be discarded.
All groups from 3-5 years and on have this attitude, culture, that they have earned their place and it's the newbies duty to do the hard work of keeping up the Farm while being somewhat indoctrinated into their system. Total lack of any type of true leadership.
Even the dogs get little praise. In my short time there not once was I given a pat on the back for my hard work while my music was totally slammed as being "not valid".
The seeds of a bad attitude growing a poorly motivated group of disenchanted worker bees.
Have they changed? I think not. Will they change? I doubt it. While they may be taking heed to some of what is said here they still ignore the fact that this truth is coming from another human being and take whatever they take as their own again discarding the flesh and blood typing these words throwing away any chances of furthering their evolution.

 

Well I have sent them several e-mails and I still have not received a reply from them. I find that to be very disturbing. You would think that they would be eager to engage in a dialog with a prospective new member. Yet they managed to turn me off without saying a word. All I asked them for was some basic information about their farm.

Perhaps everything that people here have said about the Zendiks is true.

You are probably right. If they have a high number of people leaving, that alone should be a wake up call for them. Sounds to me like they would just make excuses like: “those who left are not strong enough” or, “they would not be any good to the community anyway”. Instead of taking a look inside themselves and evaluating why people are leaving. There fore it is unlikely they will change which is a shame.

If they do have this hierarchy that you described, well that is there thing and they are free to do what they want regardless of what you or I may feel about that. I thought the point of communal living was that everyone was equal but, that is just me. Anyway, if they do want to have this sort of hierarchy they cant leave people on the bottom for very long. Those on the bottom will soon feel like they are being taken advantage of. You can not have a group of people who do all the work but, are excluded form any privileges for too long. I think you mentioned something like 3-5 years before they could gain any privileges. That is insane! Of course people will leave under those circumstances.

 

Siah wrote:

Are you saying that all possible criticism of Zendik is invalid because some nutsy Nazis twisted quotes from your web site? There is a difference between thoughtful criticism and white supremicist bullshit. Many of those, including myself, who've posted on this thread have actually spent time on the Zendik Farm. You can't just blow us and our observations off because some wacko racists criticized you.

As Wulf said, only the truth can be sustained. Those who read this forum (and for anyone just signing in I recommend looking back and reading earlier posts, especially those by Red Lentil) should be able to figure out what's true and what isn't.

- Greenhornet

 

I have been reading this thread and not saying much for awhile, but I have to say it is very educational in showing how many versions of reality there is. I hope you can all be at peace with each other in the new year.

Love

Dania

 

Unfortunately, this is a rather lengthy thread and therefore it is difficult to critically review every post. I did, finally, read most of the posts (I think). The problem is, we are only getting one side of the story and even that 1/2 lacked in detail. Many of the vague criticisms that were directed against the zediks are open to various interpretations. After reading 37 pages of posts I still have no idea what an average day on the zendik farm would be like.

With that said, I am becoming suspicious of the zendiks. Partly because of some of the posts here and also because they have not responded to my e-mails. Usually, members of a organization/group can’t wait to tell you about their philosophy and ideals. I just found it weird that they did not reply to me at all.

 

RedLentil gave some great details in the day of a Zendik at the Farm. Let me send my .02.......
After making the grade through repeated phone calls and face to face meetings with Zendiks on the road you'll find yourself at the Farm with someone who has the honor of showing you around and letting you in on the "rules". My guess is they're still winging it so you may find yourself getting a half assed version of everything. You'll be asked if you have any drugs or tobacco which will be confiscated along with any money they can talk you out of. Depending on the time of day it is when you arrive you'll either be thrown into the mass meal/meeting or given a task untill the mass meal/meeting is held.
You eat then the meeting begins where you'll be introduced and everyone will announce their names to you. Meeting then begins where they, the upper level guys, will dish out the work. Work begins untill the next meal/meeting.
Not much to say after dinner. Long time Zendiks get to indulge in their arts while the newer Zendiks hang out on the trampoline talking about the good ole days when their art was valid.
You see untill you "get it" your life will never imatate art. No use reading Wulfs works untill you can write them yourself because untill you're there for so many years you will never "get it" so be prepared to forget about YOUR art for a good several years unless of course you catch the eye of a long time Zendik and your skilled in the art of fucking then of course you're in.....
Siah and especially Kord will never directly reply to me as they know the truth of my time at the farm which was the most horrible time of my life to date. You see I'm a guitar player of 21 years and have been a live sound and recording engineer for 14 not to mention my ability to learn new crafts. My music comes from me not Arol or what the Zendiks see as valid so I was not allowed to be a part of their music at all.
In short they suck.

 

Well I have called these guys but, their phone is always busy.

I have e-mailed them (numerous times) with no response.

So I don’t know what to think. Their philosophy ( as stated on their web site)sounds interesting but, I can’t seem to initiate any kind of dialog with them to get any sense that they actually live by said philosophy.

Obviously, I have good reason to be concerned about them since many of the posts made here shine a negative light on the zendiks. However, I have searched all over the web and I could not find a single site that had anything negative to say about the zendik farm. But, everything I did find was out dated. The most recent article I found was posted in 1997.

It is too bad, I was looking for a place that would fit with my own values.

Perhaps I’ll start a place of my own.

 

well.. i emailed them yesterday, out of pure couriosty, just wondering, and i changed my name and stoof, and kinda lied about who i was where i came from and stoof... read what was said... its a LITTLE weird.. i dunno... im not actually planning to go there, im just wondering...

me
hello, my name is kara and i'm wondering about the zendik farm... it seems like a really good place that i would love to see and possibly join. i am only 16, but i do not know if this is a problem... but i do have some questions:

1) is wulf still alive?
2) what sort of food do you eat? do you cook your own individual means or do we eat as a mass?
3) how often do we get to go into the "real world"? because i like to go to a quick dead show and things... and i would care to see the little family i have... i only have one uncle left..
4) can a person smoke at zendik?

i can sing very well, and i make jewelry like no other!

i would appreciate a quick reply! thanks!

peace, kara

zendik
Hi Kara... My name is Zoe.. to get to the point .. yes... your welcome to
come. This is a very cool place, I moved here when I was 16 also.. that was
a while ago and things have only gotten better to answer your
questions...

No wulf pass away in 1999.. His life was dedicated to creating a culture
and society where people could learn to live together in honesty and balance
with the planet and each other... And he has suceeded in laying the ground
work and Arol, his life time partner, has built on that and is working out
the details and daily living of things...

People that enjoy cooking cook for everyone and we all eat together and all
share in the clean up :-0

You can go out and visit or whatever anytime you like.. Our sellers travel
to concert all summer every week and to DC, NY, Philly, Miami, Atlanta.. all
over the place just about every week or every other week.... The thing about
traveling as a Zendik is that when our sellers go out and sell the magazines
or CDs they are doing as a way to bring the word and some hope to the
world.. so its a lot of fun. I found that when i came here i was worried
that I would not go out much but after being here a short time I was very
happy and didnt much want to go anywhere although when I was selling I went
everywhere... So just dont worry and leave it open ... see how you feel...
Is a different life.. and a good one at that

When used to smoke cig. and weed here but gave it all up years ago because
the kids would get sick and really if you want to save the world and do your
best you must be as health as you can.. Sooooo.... no people dont smoke but
we can help you quit if you do.. I found when I lived outside zendik i
needed dope and smokes just to get through but try it here.... You probably
will feel different than you do now.. We do throw killer parties though and
drink sometimes.....

I too make jewelry.. Mokume-Gane,, and Damscus Steel... You can see some
stuff on the visual arts section under my name Zoe.....

Anyways great to hear from you and all I can say .. hey .. give it a shot
its really a beautiful place and life saver ;-)

keep in touch
Zoe

Me (I totally bullshitted this one.. i just wanted to see what she would say! lol)

alright, thank you for your reply!

i come sort of from a "broken" childhood... thats why i think zendik would be good for me... it seems like a great place!!

a few more questions though:

do we eat normal food? organic? meat? dairy? or what?
will i be able to communicate with my family?
do you guys have internet and phone hookups or what?
do i get to keep my personal belongings?
how many people around my age are there?

thanks for dealing with all my questions! im really considering going there!

-kara

Zendik
I can answer all your question .. i hate to type but would love to talk.. I too had a ruff child hood ... call me at 304 799-7281 tonight or send your number and I'll call you

Zoe

ISNT THAT FREAKY!?!? THERES MORE!

Me

well... i dont QUITE feel comfortable talking... yet anyways...

could you PLEASE answer my questions in email?

thanks,

kara

Zendik
Here are your answers but please call me tonight if you can...

we eat all organic.. it up to the individual if you eat meat or whatever...
We have a high speed dedicated T-1 line and about 20 computer, laptops and workstations....and 10 phone lines
of coarse you can call write go see your family.. this isnt a closed society
and again .. yes.. you can keep all your stuff.. we all have stuff of our own
there are people here from 18-19-21-24-27-28-33-32-40-44-65-10 al ages but btw we all seem to act your and relate.. when I moved here the was only a couple of young people but I never noticed.. now there are quite a few...

give me a call and I can tell you whatever you want to know..ok?/.. cool ..

Zoe

 

well peaceloveandbarefeet, i'll say this about zendik. i have a good friend who went there 10 years ago and is still there and loves it. his name is gyre if you want to contact him there. and i have other friends who went there and left because they felt it was too rigid and not flexible and spiritual enough. either way it is not a cult where you would be in any danger. there are many young womyn there. i've met their travelling teams many times both at concerts and when they stayed at our sassafras house in providence and they were always friendly and happy. so i'm sure it would be a safe place for you to visit if you want. they're now in west virginia. i'm sure you can learn something there and you can then either stay or leave to continue your community explorations. peace nwrfred

 

Wow you got all of that. They have yet to answer even one of my e-mails.

Oh well.

Time to give up on them I guess.

 

I knew Gyre when I was at Z.F. He's a really nice guy, but he's also the type who really NEEDS a cause to be totally dedicated to -a free thinker he's not. So if you consider yourself at all independent I wouldn't use Gyre as a role model.

To anyone thinking of going to Zendik. 1) have somewhere else to go in case you don't "work out" and get kicked out (the vast majority, probably over 90% of prospective Zendiks get kicked out or leave within a few weeks or months of getting there), 2) make sure you don't tell them if you have assests - keep any money or nice cars you have somewhere else, 3) prepare to work your ass off (which isn't the worst thing in the world, but is demanding and don't expect the Zendiks to feel particularly indebted to you for your labors), 4) be sure to keep your wits about you and keep an eye out for psychological tricks & possible abuse. 5) Don't be scared of leaving if the place isn't working out for you (which given the Zendiks' record of retention is very likely).

If only the Zendiks weren't so damned determined to reshape everbody into some impossible Zendik ideal, verbally abuse people they don't like, and exile all independent people, they'd be alright.

 

wow

 

I apologize in advance for the length of my posting here...seems that once I started thinking about my own Zendik experience, I couldn't shut up about it. I just wanted to throw in my own two cents on the Zendiks, since I lived there for a year or so back in 1996 (when the Farm was outside of Bastrop, TX...so I should add a disclaimer that my perspective comes from that particular era of Zendik history, and I can’t comment on what it’s like these days). Part of me wants to defend the Zendiks, like Kord and Rasha have, against the charges that they routinely and willfully rip off and abuse people (young people, women)...but part of me wants to cite the reasons why I left the Farm and warn people against going there (since it's quite possible that the Zendik trip will not be for you). I’m sure, then, that my perspective won’t be pro-Zendik enough to please the Zendiks, nor anti-Zendik enough to win friends among those who felt abused and manipulated by them.

First off, we should notice that the Zendiks get a steady stream of outsiders coming to their Farm, and all of these outsiders arrive with radically different sorts of agendas, different ideas of what they can expect to get from the Farm experience. Some newcomers go there as college kids, looking to learn particular skills in a sort of “semester abroad” spirit...some are “troubled teens” hoping that the Farm will save them from suicide...some are hippies expecting a groovy love-fest...some have been reading the zines as closet Zendik fans and have been fantasizing about escaping to the Farm for years, etc. I think many people come to the Farm expecting to be adopted into an instant family, and then they get discouraged and resentful when they’re treated coldly and indifferently by the old-timers. I can remember a number of newcomers suddenly deciding that the Farm was completely full of shit because of some petty misunderstanding, or some very warped misconceptions of what they were getting into in the first place. I point this out to say: (a) I’m somewhat suspicious of people who want to tell horror stories about how evil the Zendiks are, because in my experience they were generally a great bunch of people who certainly weren’t trying to exploit anyone, and (b) I understand why the Zendiks themselves don’t want to give a lot of energy to answering charges against them, to give “full disclosure” on demand...because often these charges are warped, petty, and as Siah has said, not very classy. These charges often come precisely from wounded narcissism...here I’m thinking of one guy who went to the Farm expecting to hang out with Wulf every day, sit at the guru’s feet and drink in his wisdom...and then he decided that he was a victim of deceptive advertising because he never got to see Wulf (who was too busy dying to hang out with this particular lad). This is not because they’re trying to keep the truth from getting out in the open, but because they have better things to do than answer the same stupid accusations over and over again (e.g., that the Zendiks are child molesters, that the old-timers enjoy a swank, comfy lifestyle while the newcomers toil in the fields...blah blah blah).

This is not to say that some extremely weird shit never happened at the Farm, nor that any of the tales told in these 37 pages of messages are inaccurate....nor indeed, that I don’t have my own gripes against the Farm (while I was there, and now). Just that in my own experience, I was never forced to do anything I didn’t want to do (no forced enemas, certainly), I was never exploited in any way, I don’t feel like the Zendiks did a mind-fuck on me, etc. I should add that I was only there for a year, and the whole time I was there, I knew that this was a temporary situation for me (I never aspired to become a lifelong Zendik), and so I could maintain some critical distance to the whole experience. I can imagine, then, that people who spent more time there and invested a lot more of themselves in the experience would feel a lot more ripped off by the Zendiks than I did, after leaving the Farm...

The second general observation to make about the Zendiks is that they think (or thought, in 1996) of the world in purely “Us Vs. Them” terms. This means that anything that happens outside of the Farm’s borders is the Deathkultur, and you’re to have no part of it if you want to be an honest-to-goodness Zendik...and conversely, everything that happens within its borders is the most revolutionary thing to happen in human history (you might think I’m exaggerating, but the Zendiks really do seem to believe that they’re the only hope for humanity’s escape from destruction). Being a Zendik means being subjected to a constant barrage of internally generated Zendik propaganda...and if you have any doubts about the Zendik trip, it’s probably only a matter of time before this bubbles to the surface and you’re asked to leave. This creates a weird sense of loneliness while you’re at the Farm, that is, if you’ve got a brain in your head and don’t mindlessly accept everything you’re being told about how the world works...weird to be lonely when you're surrounded by so many people (often very cool people), but it makes sense when the only approved topic of conversation at any given moment is drawn from the Zendik guide to living and thinking. Not unlike being a Catholic who spends all his time wondering if he has had any sinful thoughts that need to be confessed. They defend this parochial world view by saying “we’re not liberals, we know the Truth and we’re not afraid to let you have it”...and I respect that up to a point. But it means that despite all their talk about radical experiments in communal living, they have no interest at all in examining the truth value of their statements. As Greenhornet pointed out, 99% of people who arrive at the Farm end up leaving...the Zendiks would say that this is because, as Jack Nicholson says in that movie, “they couldn’t handle the truth.” They were too weak or stupid to face up to why their lives were messed up, why they couldn’t get along with people or lovers, etc. Of course, it doesn’t occur to the Zendiks that people aren’t staying for very good reasons. It’s precisely the situation of the patient and doctor in analysis...in this relation, the doctor is in the privileged position of being a priori correct about 100% of his analysis, because if the patient objects to what the doctor’s saying, he’s just proving that he’s “in denial.” That’s fine, provided that your doctor knows what he’s doing.

I didn’t mean for this to be so long, nor so ambivalent...but I was pleased to find this extended discussion of the Farm by people who have lived there. What I’ve written here probably doesn’t answer the question that many have posed here (“should I quit my job, pack up my stuff, and join the Farm?”). Perhaps the bottom line is that people who think about staying at the Farm long-term are usually quite desperate, feel like it’s their only hope for sanity and survival...and since such people are quite vulnerable, they could end up being massively hurt by the Zendik trip, or it could turn out to be something quite positive, precisely the “last chance for sanity” that they were hoping for.