Hello. To begin with, I've always known I am a lesbian, since I can remember. I'm out of the closet, and my friends and family accept it openly. I've had various relationships with women. But when I became 15, I met a girl that changed my life. In the beginning, she didn't know she was gay. She always felt 'different' about women and had never been in LOVE with a guy. After some time, she fell for me and I asked her out. She said I'm her first love, and I also felt she was special somehow. Now, in less than two months, we will have completed 6 years together. Because of her job, she had to move to another continent for a while. She is going to move in with me in about 1 year and then we are planning to get married, as she recently proposed to me. Nobody, except few close buddies, knew that she is gay until some time ago. She fought with a friend, who told everyone about me. People's reactions were extremely negative. Her (strict) family doesn't want to see her again. Most of her friends are ignoring her. Of course, I told her that if they are so homophobic, they don't deserve to be her friends.. But our relationship is going through a rough phase lately. We fight a lot because of nothing. We call each other names, shut the phone and don't talk to each other until one of us apologizes the next day. It's exhausting.. And now this makes things worse. She doesn't want to talk to me anymore. She asked me to leave her alone for a while. She says she loves me and always will, but she needs time. I want to help her, but she rejects me and refuses to discuss. She says I'm selfish because I don't leave her space. She tells me she is very hurt and needs some time to recover.. And after all it's 'my fault' so I shouldn't make things harder. I feel stressed out. I don't want to break up. I can't do anything and she is blaming me for what happened. I'm afraid that if I don't talk to her for a long time it is going to make things even worse. It's easier for her to become distant when she isolates herself, since she is over 8.000km away and there is no human contact and touch involved until she comes back. Should I keep messaging her even if that bothers her? Or should I let her alone for some time? How can I help her?
I know it's hard but give her the space and time she needs, I know you love her but if you give her time away, if she loves you as much as you say she does then she will come back to you. Hope this helps xxx
the only way to keep her is to leave her alone. if she will come back to you she finally will be. you have to understand when you truly love someone the first thing you concern is her happiness. if your presence isn't making things better then you should leave, even for a little while. she will discern more the meaning upon your absence.
I guess you're right. I wish I could help her. I miss her so much.. I feel lonely when I'm not talking to her I hope she returns soon
Give her the space she needs. Dont push because in turn you will push her away. Space is not always a bad thing.
