Disliking a parent

When you're (mostly) grown up.

normal or no?

 

I don't think it is normal - but it isn't unheard of. Are you talking about a minor issue suddenly turning a person off their parents? Just a sudden stopping of communication.
Or a massive row, and you just don't forgive.

 

Everyone's situation is different and parents and children are just people and sometimes you may not like or approve of how a parent is. It happens. You can also feel multiple ways about a parent. I wouldn't worry about if it's normal. Sometimes you just gotta accept a parent the way they are too.

 

Depends, really. If it is an outdated daddy issue, you might want to look inwards. If your parents are genuine subhumans, it might be time to cut ties.

 

Grown-up and mature can be two different things. I remember leaving as soon as I turned 18. At the time I was upset with my parents and just blew them off for 5 years. At the time they were heavy drinkers, and they just weren't good parents throughout my highschool years.

Ultimately they stopped drinking and my younger brothers didn't have to go through what I did. I held a grudge for awhile. Then one day I just put it behind me and let it quit getting to me. Life's too short for that shit.

 

I think it's normal to resent one's parents at any age. It is often them who fuck us up most.

 

Blaming your parents for your problems after the age of 18 is almost always a cop-out.

 

Some parents can be great parents most of the time and in many ways but when it comes down to it all parents are just humans. And not perfect and mess things up. Some do this worse than others and some parents really aren't good parents. That can actually shape you for the better though and doesn't have to get to you. Sometimes people do the best they can how they can and you may not agree but you have to not let things like that get to you.

 

I think most people go through changes that at times can stress family relations. If it is a case of something being harmful then at times the only choice may be to take time away from that situation and allow healing.

The unfortunate part of distance is once it is there it is sometimes very difficult to overcome and becomes a new pattern that may also follow you for the rest of your life. Too often when something happens at a later date, such as death, there is regret and no way to settle issues. That is destructive to those left.

Hopefully for most it is a small space in a life time and there is resolution to issues. Sometimes that is just agreeing to differences and not living in that head space. Someone usually has to make the first move to have that happen.

Life is funny as eventually you become more like your parents than you ever thought you would.

 

To be honest, I dislike my Mother. Which is odd, as my Father was the "asshole" while I grew up, but he has changed his way since than. My Mother is a good person at heart, but her actions are just... well... the word bitch comes to mind. I've excepted that she may be a bitch, but her heart is in the right place. Do you know what I mean?

 

I dislike my parents. They were awful as parents.....there's no doubt about that. It's more because they're just not my kind of people.

 

:2thumbsup:

 

I like my parents, but we have our issues. I'm definitely closer to my mother than my father, but I think I'm much more alike to my dad and there's an unspoken understanding there. The problem is we're both terrible at doing the whole parent-daughter thing, while my mom is more of the suffocating type, can't get away, even when you do get away.

I didn't think this way when I was younger, but I'm glad I've come to this realization.

 

I think mine are a complete and utter pain up the arse.
(Not literally, its an English phrase that means "extemely dislikeable").

So yeah, its normal to dislike someone who isn't normal.
I mean sometimes I speak to them, but I can't see I really want to be bothered with them.

 

A lot of the time bad parents instill their behaviors in their children, and it creates a vicious cycle. It happened with my Mother. Her Mom was/is a total bitch, and overall a bad person. My Mother took after her. And she did her best to fuck up her children's heads in the same way. But my sister and I learned that sometimes you have to cut ties to break the cycle. The things she put us through still gets to us. But until she at least shows some remorse I don't want to have anything to do with her. And life is better that way.

Even Jesus doesn't forgive those that don't repent.

Although there is a major difference between what I went through and the "My parents didn't buy me what I wanted" or "they didn't let me do this or that". A lot of people over exaggerate and can't let simple things go. I hear a lot of people bitch and moan about their parents for trivial things that really shouldn't matter. I try not to laugh and think to myself that I would have given anything to have a Mother who actually gave a shit about my well being.

I guess it's all relative, but people should learn not to take what they have for granted.

 

^You pretty much just hit the nail on the fucking head, brah.

 

My parents have so much disinterest in me. You can tell by some of the stuff they say which shows they really don't know me at all. I was angered by that for many years. Now, as an elder myself, it's their style and it doesn't suit me. So like anyone else, I keep interactions to a minimum.

 

My mother was absent in my life during the years that mattered as I grew up. A court order prevented her from having any contact until I was eighteen. Since I have few memories of what really happened when I was a child, I made contact with her as an adult and I have been in contact with her since.

My father is the type of individual who drinks too much and blames everything on everyone except himself. He disowned me when I came out of the closet in college, and I have attempted to build an adult relationship with him through the years but he is the type of person who simply cannot change. It has been many years since I was last in contact with him.

 

It took me a long time to forgive mine. They were dead before I could. Mom ran away with a guy when I was 4 to live in a car in Mexico,attempted to put me in an orphanage and left me with an insensative,drunken big-shot lout of a dad who hadn't the plums to be a single dad. Thankfully,my dear departed gramma took me and raised me when she was in her 60's. Never saw any closeness at all when I was young(except at friend's houses),so I was affected in various ways,contrary to what Sitka said. Tried to live with my father a couple of years-freshman-soph years in high school,but step mother was crazy as a loon,so didn't really work out. Emotional issues contributed to my becoming a very dangerous drunken lout myself for a number of years---but halla-fricken- luyah--serious dose of window pane at 28 (many to follow) cured me up by making me actually use my brain to sort out the fact that I wasted many years boo-hooing about poor me. So many people have it so much worse than I ever did--so it is kind of embarrassing to think that I had it bad at all. I have made sure that my kids and grand kids know that I love them with all my heart--every day,so as a single parent--I corrected ALL the mistakes made by people that I now realise were just flawed people trying to live their lives the best they could. So it goes.

 

Not quite. The phrase is pain IN the arse
Pain UP the arse is something best discussed with your doctor or mistress.