Self destruction is sometimes a by-product of trying to cure boredom, like excessive drug use or gambling. I like your sig by the way, the joke about the cantaloupe. It reminds me of the one about the two peanuts that walked into a bar, and one of them was assaulted.
I don't know. I did that before. And for me it was neither. It was so I could experience certain things, learn certain things and come out the other side. It was also a bit of depression though I believe.