Question for the women (men can answer too I guess)

Didn't really know where this thread would go.

what makes sex good/bad?

I'm 19 years old and I'm pretty close to having sex for the first time and I wanna know what I should do and avoid doing.

I'm not so much asking about "ettiquete" I guess. Mostly everything I've seen on the internet is "he was selfish" "couldn't stay hard" or other things that are pretty much common sense.

The thing i don't understand is how sex can be bad. *I understand that some men might cum in a short amount of time or last so long that it gets uncomfortable or he might have a penis that's too small/big but what actually makes it bad?

Let's say there's two men who both have nice sizes and last around whatever your ideal time is. *What makes one man better than the other? *Is it the way he's thrusting or his speed or the positions? People say sex comes naturally, but good sex obviously doesn't or it wouldn't be a problem.

And if you can, please explain in detail and refrain from using weird terminology (ex: I read that rhythm matters a lot, but that confuses me. *I have no idea how they're using that word. *Do they mean the tempo?)

People have told me to find a girl that can teach me but I really don't have that kind of time.

I've tried finding advice everywhere (for some reason, most Pick Up Artist sites don't give any sex tips. *You'd think they'd realize that's an important subject). *Porn hasn't been much help either.


And my penis is 6 inches long and 5 inches thick if that matters any. *Not even big, right? *I'm extremely average :smoking:

Thanks

 

I Could Suggest A Place...



Cheers Glen.

 

You will learn quickly how much the mental aspect of sex matters it's what causes most bad sex to be bad. Just having an erect penis and a moist vagina, is, contrary to most opinion, not enough for good sex. There must be deep, true arousal, attraction, affection.

Sex in a basic sense (ejaculation into vaginal canal) does "come" naturally. But the good stuff, that takes practice and skill, like any other complex ability performed right I'd say good sex is on par difficulty-wise with playing an instrument.

The good guy will:

- perform lots of foreplay (fingers, lips, tongue, spoken word, eye contact. Foreplay starts in the morning when you wake up)

- go slowly and not rush

- make her want it so bad she acts in ways that embarrass her

- listen to his lovers body and watch her face. is she looking a little bored? is she grimacing? is her mouth open and she looks like she's about to cum?

- ***COMMUNICATE VOCALLY*** Ask things like "is this ok", "does that hurt", "do you like that?", "faster or slower?" etc.

- take initiative (like you have) and try and learn some sex tips, female anatomy (male too!), and just think about ways to give pleasure to his woman.

- understand that it's not about "masculinity" or "popularity", it's a skill. Practice will make better. Patience will help.

Tempo is part of rhythm, yes. If you enter a woman and start just bashing into her at Mach 4 she's likely going to be rolling her eyes and waiting for the 30 seconds to finish so she can quietly explain to you to slow the fuck down. You can work up to Mach 4, just don't start there from the getgo (unless she tells you she likes it that way!). Rhythm is more than just speed though . . . sex is very much a dance you do with a partner while being inside her body. Knowing not just how to thrust back and forth, but turn and twist your hips and body so you are hitting her spots, angle your pelvis so you hit the upper part of her vagina where the G spot is located . . . it's a lot more complex than you see in pornos, it's NOT just in-out-in-out-in-out. It can be though, and that's ok. Sometimes you'll want to just do a little back and forth, but then maybe mix it up, and sort of twist and squirm inside her. Watch her reactions. Ask her if she likes it.

This is where anatomy helps you. Learn about how the growing fetus develops either a penis or vagina (or both). Realize that a vagina is really just an inverted penis, with all the sensitive nerves of the head, now being located in the clitoris, and also in the G spot. realize that just as you like the feeling of things pleasantly stimulating your shaft, that same kind of feeling is what she gets in her canal. Understand her body and try and feel what she's feeling. Really get into the moment and connect with her body and mind.

Ideally the girl who you are about to have sex with can teach you. Ideally whoever you end up popping your cherry with can show you how they like it. Every woman is different too, so seeing a prostitute might not help as much as you think.

They're more interested in drinking a lot of alcohol and going home with the bleach-blondiest girl in the bar so they can have 5 minute half-flacid sex and then go write a book about how they've "cracked the code" to taking home drunk women who are at the bar to go home with someone. I would stay away from pick up artists and their entire worldview, trust me on this. I used to be all about that and now that I'm actually successful with a woman I see how completely retarded it is. They need to devise these complex games and rituals because the women they are dealing with think in nothing but games and rituals. It's a self-fulfilling cycle . . . women play games, so men figure out how to beat those games, then women learn about the men's counter-games and become even "harder to get" (even though everybody wants everybody) . . . it's all very childish and completely about ego and domination.

I have a split opinion here. I've learned a few good moves from GOOD porn. There's a lot of awful porn out there though. Look for the porn where the guy spends a good amount of time giving the woman oral sex. Porn where they don't like showing men going down on women is usually porn where the sex is the fakest. Believe me, unless some special reason comes up, cunnilingus is a big part of sex

Doesn't matter in the least. I've heard about guys with big dicks who get turn down because it's too big, and guys with pretty small dicks end up living essentially pick up artist lifestyles (hmmmm....). It's not the size of the tools, it's your skill at knowing what to do with them.

 

It depends on what the partner is prepared to do sexually & how they do & it & if it gives pleasure as well. Practice makes perfect but we all have our limits on sexual acts we either like / dislike or disapprove of in society & in our own sex life's.

 

Mentality of the people involved. It's bad when someone's head is somewhere or with someone else, when they're stressed out, sexually suppressed, nervous instead of relaxed, disconnected etc.
It's bad when one of the partners doesn't enjoy it, for whatever reason.

The better one is the one who:
- wants to know what feels good to me
- listens to what I say
- changes his tempo, movements, position so that we can find those, that are good for both of us
- is observing my reactions and expression during sex

Tempo: slow at the start (unless stated otherwise), then you speed up and try different tempos. Ask her how it feels. Not going faster immediately, when the woman wants you to, can add to the arousal (probably depends on the woman). She might prefer different tempos in different positions. The same goes for depth.

Movements: movement of the hips, depth, etc. It's all based on trial and error.

Position: in some positions you can go deeper than in others. Women have different favourite positions, you just have to try and find the right ones. This is also related to body size and shape, so a position you enjoy with one partner isn't necessarily the most comfortable one with a different sex partner.

I think you can find a lot of good advice on this forum. It's real advice from real people, instead of some sales offer.

Average is good

 

Mr. Writer pretty much nailed it (pun intended), though cunnilingus never does it for *me,* I prefer to stimulate my clit with his boner. It works 1000x better for me.

I'd add - take your time, don't rush.

BE in the moment, don't over think things. Feel instead of thinking.

Quite often what feels good to you will feel good to her too, she'll respond and it will be even better for both of you.

 

Dangit! How much love do I need to spread before I can rep this post? I wanted to do it days ago and I decided to come back to it and still can't.

Well I might come back and try again.