Please excuse my long post, couldn't make it shorter. Hi. I have a problem that I bet you have never heard of. And it has taken me a long time to find out that it was located in my eyes. The fact is that I am diverging my eyes, the opposite of crossing (converging) them, slightly. This causes me to have immense tension building up around my eye and my whole body. If I voluntarily converge my eyes (which I have complete control over), there is just slight tension locally around the eye and not in the whole body. Just try to cross your eyes yourself and you will notice tension building up close to the eye. This diverging movement (both eyes is involved I suspect) is very minute and is almost impossible to notice when you look at my eyes. I am completely in control over where I move my eyes up, left etc. But I cant seem to stop diverging them. And thats mainly because I am unable to control the little movement that makes them diverge. I am "unaware of it". Right now I'm diverging, which tells me that I'm controlling my brain to control my eyes. I am causing this. I will diverge all day long, and have been doing it for many years; it depletes me of energy has made my back crooked, I get constipated all the time, because it makes me so tense. The movement is very tiny, but there is so much tension around my eyes that I seem to confuse the tension with the actual diverging movement. So when I try to "un-diverge" I almost always end up trying to "undiverge" some part of the tension around or in the eye, and not my actual eye. example: Like say you you where flexing your biceps, and without stopping to flex it start to feel the tension. Then focus on a point where you feel tension while still flexing, if you try to move this point your focused on up, down, right and left while your muscle is still flexed you would not stop flexing your arm. You would only try to move the point in focus with no result, because the bicep cant move that way. And thats what I do with my eyes. Only eye muscles are located in the skull, and I am trying to move points around and on my eye, because this is where I feel tension. you can do this if you again converge your eyes, then start focusing on a point which is tense around or in the eye while still converging. in your mind try to move this point, its not going to do anything about the converging. so in short i try to move parts which is not my eye, mainly because tension is all around my eyes and the tension is distracting me from experiencing the actual movement. i confuses me, where am I actually moving? I cant tell... other times I will also end up visualizing my eyes moving, and then Im still not moving my eyes, im just mentally constructing movement in my head where on points around my eye where Im focused. example: say you would focus on your beer belly and then imagine that you would move it up to your chest. that isnt possible, but its a movement constructed in your head. a vizualisation/virtualisation with no actual muscle input to the muscles. so what I need is a way to be so aware of moving and not confusing it with the tension or other sensations. successfully being able to separate movement from sensation. there is probably many ways to think about this and use my brain to be aware that they are not the same thing. that way I will not mistake things that isnt movement with movement. movement isnt felt, its dealt. you act the movement. you just have to help me think out ways to do this. its also because the diverging movement is very small its hard for me to notice, I can move my eyes up and down right and left without any problem at all. please don't suggest that this is caused by something else. many times I have managed to "undiverge" my eyes for a short time, my visual field then becomes normal and my whole body just releases and Im able to take a deep good breaths again. but i start diverging as soon as I have stopped it. I have filmed the actual "undiverging" to really be sure that this was the case. help me get awareness and separate these two things I just need to experience them such that I can separate them, any mental suggestions or thinking methods will be greatly appreciated thank you!!!
eye muscle strengthening exercises search the net, there are simple things to do to develop better eye/brain/body coordination. spending time on the betwixt of a situation is a way to lose time in the gap neither starting or finishing. work through the eyes and allow it to show you your center. eye exercises - eye yoga - call it.
There are 8 limbs of yoga filled with comprehensive methodologies and skillful techniques when practiced together work to complement each other, the specific one that may be most helpful your issue may be Dharana; Concentration and cultivating inner perceptual awareness, an example practice would be Tratak (candle gazing).
Chodpa might be right. Another thing is to meditate on the sensations: The tension, the diversion or both at the same time. Make a meditation out of it and take note of everything that's happening with that during your meditation. That could help. Make those sensations your object of focus and impartially observe it all. I've never heard of that problem, so I'm certainly no expert on that.
Paraphrasing something you wrote near the end of your post: "so what I need is a way to ... successfully be able to separate movement from sensation." In my opinion you are close to the solution. Better stated would be to separate the energy (movement) from the feeling (sensation). All 'feelings' are labels we assign to the underlying energy. We think the energy feels different based on the label we gave the experience which caused the energy to occur. I call the result an 'energy-feeling'. The secret is found by asking "who has this feeling?" "I do of course" is the answer, but who is this I that observes the tension, the feeling? Ultimately, you can't even 'look' for this 'I' because anything 'you' can 'see' must not be the actual 'you'. So you can't look for the I. But you can sense the I. It has an energy feeling. It is in fact all energy, all feeling. Look for the sameness quality in your experience. Set aside all things that are 'me' and 'mine', indeed all things that can be said about. What remains is the ever-present I. Peace. Michael <edit>
