A man goes into a bar, sits, orders a triple Scotch, and then produces three items from his satchel, which he sets on the bar: a little bitty piano, a little bitty man to play the piano, and an old battered lantern. The bartender is amazed at this display and asks the guy where he got the piano and the little guy who was playing some amazing Mozart at the moment. "There's a genie in this lantern," he says. "Rub it, the genie pops out, and grants you one wish." The bartender looks dubious but figures what the hell and rubs the lantern. Surely enough a genie pops out and asks what's his wish. "I want a million bucks," the bartender exclaims. "So be it," the genie says and pops back into his lantern, and in an eyeblink the bar is stuffed with a million baby ducks! "What the hell is this," the bartender asks, upset. "I didn't ask for ducks!" "Yeah, I forgot to tell you he's hard of hearing," the man says as he finishes his Scotch. "But you didn't really think I asked for a twelve-inch pianist, did you?"
