Can happy relationships last without sex?

Hello everyone, this is my first time posting here but I haven't found a satisfactory answer to this anywhere. I suppose I should start by saying that I'm a 19 year old heteromantic asexual guy with some reservations about dating because of the fear that I can't please a woman well enough without intercourse. I'm ready and willing to do anything that let's me keep my pants on when pleasing a lady, except for cunnilingus and intercourse.

One obvious answer would be to only date other asexuals online, but love doesn't work that way for me. I want to be able, or at least have the option, to pursue girls at least mostly unhindered. I've been told that I have good hands for fingering, (probably because I did a hell of a lot of research) but I'm afraid that it won't be enough to keep a relationship going in the long run. I've never had complaints about my nails (I keep them trimmed) but I haven't quite given a successful orgasm either.

So, finally, the question; ladies, could you happily go through a long relationship without intercourse? Could someone with the right skills and hands be enough to sexually satisfy you without ever once using the penis?

 

I doubt I could be happy in such a relationship, but I know a woman who live in a sexless relationship and is perfectly happy doing so. So what you describe is likely possible.

 

nope.

saying "womyn" doesn't help either.

 

Not me......but there are some asexual women out there. Also, there are fingers-only (ie no penis) girls too.

 

I saw that being used a lot here and thought I would be corrected if I didn't use it. It seems that the opposite is true.

 

I would hate to think what it would be like to have no sexual activites in life at all.
If masturbation was not even part of it, that would be even worse - agree - disagree?

 

Sex is hugely important in my marriage. We couldn't manage without it.

 

There are lots of women out there who don't like sex at all. I need sex, but many don't.

 

I have no idea but I would like to say that I sincerely wish you the best of luck

 

Fully agree. Intimate, fun, naughty Its even great for the romance.

 

Yes, it is entirely possible providing you get a compatible partner. How would you feel about using a "toy" such as a dildo on your partner if the situation arose? Or would that be out of the equation?

You would really need to network in like minded circles. Additionally, you are young and may not always feel that way. I know someone who was asexual for 20 years and now can't get enough sex - it was like a sudden light switch had been turned on overnight for them.

You would have to be upfront with the person and lay your cards out. I would find it very hard, but if I loved the person enough I would manage it (maybe with some mutual "agreement" in place about me having penetrative sex elsewhere when required.)

 

This would be acceptable. On a literal level, if I'm not using my parts then I'm fine. Oral is something I could warm up to with the right person, but I would be rather uncomfortable.

I wouldn't count on that. Not only am I uninterested in sex, but "pleasure" is unpleasant for me, so I don't even masturbate. It isn't painful, but I don't like it.

If you are referring to a consented alternate sexual partner, that is absolutely out of the question.

 

I can't see why it wouldn't work then, but only with a "like-minded" individual based on your responses. Someone who has a sex drive may be beyond your reach as eventually they may need more than you are willing to give.

You have to understand that, just as you don't see sex as important due to your sexuality, most people with a libido do see it as important and actually "need" to make love/have sex no matter how much they may love you.

If I couldn't ever have sex with my husband again, I WOULD stand by him, but only because I have been with him many years and we have had a pleasurable sex life and I love him deeply. However it would be very hard for me, since I "desire" him, I want to feel him inside me, I want to show my love for him by making love to him. I also have a need for sex and I would expect him to understand that need to the extent if I really needed full penetrative sex once in a while, he would allow me to indulge elsewhere (with his permission and with someone who would come to our home, so he can meet them, no outdoor/behind the back stuff.). Toys are all well and good but imho, no toy replaces the feel of a man inside me, and the full bodily contact that brings.

It would be selfish imho to expect a person with a sex drive to go without for years on end and make do with a bit of stimulation - so if you do have a relationship with someone who is not asexual, I think eventually you may find you would have to let hem have their need now and again. If that is out the question, you are better off mixing with asexual people only or those with a low sex drive to save impending heartache.

 

I think there was a house episode about this.

I think the answer they came to is probably pretty much spot on for 99% of "asexual" relationships. (it amazed me that it took Dr. fucking house to figure it out)

 

I know the episode that you are referring to. However, the issue isn't that I want to stop being asexual because I don't. The problem is that I can still fall for sexual people and I want to know if women can go through a relationship without ever touching their boyfriend's penis, while still being happy and sexually fulfilled enough to stay.

 

Why do you not just grow a pair of balls have some confidence?
This is beyond pathetic.

 

when sex becomes mechanical and boring. whats the difference if youre getting some or youre not>?

 

Lol of course you don't want to grow balls, because you don't have balls..... go get on some testosterone if you REALLY have no interest in sex.

But I'm only partially inclined to believe you. I think you're really shy and anxious and afraid..... Bear in mind that if you fucking lie about being asexual, you blew any chance at a normal relationship, having lied about something SO massive.

No, no I don't think you understand normal human relationships, which are pretty sexual, even when they're not. And the fact that you say you have interest in romance, shows that if you're telling the truth, you simply..... need testosterone.

 

Again, this topic has less to do with my asexuality and more to do with whether or not women can stay with someone when traditional sex is not an option.

As to how I feel about romance, well I can only describe it one way. If you happen to have an appreciation for art then it may make more sense to you. When I see people, women specifically, I see them a lot like I see beautiful paintings. I can find them attractive, I can want to call them my own, and they can bring out emotions in me that aren't there otherwise, but at the same time, they are still paintings. I don't want to have sex with paintings.

My testosterone levels are normal. I had a checkup some time last year, though I've known about my asexuality since 2009

 

I'm going to say, again, that's all bullshit, even if you don't know it.

If you where asexual, but asthetically attracted to humans just the same, you would have no more interest in a female than a male.