Uhhmmm Define a "One Night Stand"?

Not sure if this is already a thread, so here's another!

Riiight, according to some friends of mine, I've had a few 'one night stands', but in my opinion they weren't at all. But then it got me thinking, what does everyone else class as a one night stand? And do they view them as a bad thing? I personally don't see them as a bad thing as long as you're safe- Like, wrap up and all that!

I consider a one night stand to be where you meet someone for the first time, without ever knowing them before. Probably with no initial intention of going home with anyone night (I.e a friend's birthday party at a club). You come to find very minimal details about the person such as their name, basic likes/dislikes, job, where they live... through an hour or so of chatter (Drunken or not); they are in no way shape or form a friend, let alone an acquaintance. And then boom- you end up in bed, bang- the deed is done, zip- you part ways in the morning. Numbers are not exchanged, a second meet isn't arranged whether it was a mutual decision or not. It was the one night and you'll never know the person again. Am I wrong?

So, I have slept with a person on a first meet after having spoken to them online for about nine months. We ended up together. Is that a one night stand? I knew a guy who I met up with and slept with once, but I was hoping we'd sleep together again, maybe even become FBs (Previous thread), which didn't happen even though we spoke sparingly afterwards. This one's a bit tenuous, so let me know what you think. Oh, and I had a night of foreplay with a guy after a second date but I ever saw him again. Hmmmm. :dizzy2:

Now, my sexual history and fails aside XD what do you guys class as one? Not just in relation to my own, but yours too or what you've heard. I'd love to clear this up not only for myself but for all my virginal friends who see me as a hussy for enjoying sexual experiences with different people- who were NOT strangers in my eyes- even if they turned out to be more short lived than I'd hoped.

Please do share your thoughts on this! I'm very interested to find out what people have to say. :2thumbsup:

 

Well, my first reaction is -- who cares, really. I mean it doesn't seem important to have a tight definition. You seem to have explored the issues pretty well. What matters is how you feel about your own behavior. Did you act according to your own morals, your own sense of right and wrong? Did you hurt anybody?

Is it important to care what other people think of you? Seems like it's only an issue if some in your circle of friends have different moral standards but you don't want to lose them as friends.

 

I wouldn't classify the experiences you had as one night stands either.
I agree with you on the definition. Hook up with someone you just met and part ways after. No intention of trying to get to know the person.

 

yeah, your definition is pretty much the same as mine.

i suppose i would probably still count it if it's someone you've met before, but don't really know at all. like someone you talked to for 5 minutes at the bar once last month.

 

I agree with the above poster on this.

But I'm always wary of counting "getting to know" someone online via chats and stuff, as really "knowing" them before any hookup takes place from the first face to face meeting. In some of those cases I probably would consider that a one night stand if you don't really have a second meet up or hook up.

 

I don't see it as an issue. I don't think I've hurt anyone and I'm always careful. However, I wasn't asking about my experiences alone, just what everyone's description would be. I only used mine as an example.

Thanks. It's just some people would think a one time hit regardless of how well you know the person is a one night stand. Even if it's not full sex. Say you and a guy friend got drunk and fooled around one evening. Is that a one night stand if it never happens again? :S This is my confusion.

Ah you have a very good point. Meeting someone face to face is always different regardless of chatting, because in actuality they are a stranger. Though, I feel a friendship is based on communication and trust, which imo you can kinda establish via talking on the phone a lot or whatever. Depending on what you're talking about of course. Trust being you feel you can open up to that person- you don't necessarily need to be sat next to them to feel you can do that. So, an emotional stranger they aren't when you do finally meet sex isn't quite in that category. Whereas, going home with someone you met that night isn't quite enough time to build that kind of relationship.

I do kinda agree though, you should always spend proper time with the person offline first! But if you feel that connection that you had when you spoke then go for it. Hmmmm.

 

Not if you ended up together in a relationship. If you have any type of relationship with the person after the fact, then it's not a 1-night stand.

If you've had any personal engagement with the person before the day of the sexual encounter, then it's not a 1-night stand. If the engagement was only online, then it's a bit of a grey area. You could argue either way, but IMO online is not the same as in person so it wouldn't constitute an actual meeting and thus when you do meet could still be considered a 1-night stand.

If you briefly meet/greet/get introduced to someone but don't have any further interaction at that time, but then end up hooking up days later when you run into each other again... then you could still call that a 1-night stand (provided no further relationship or contact continues after the fact), but it's another grey area that people could argue either way.

 

My definition - and I guess I've had a few.
You share another person's body (and fluids) briefly with no intention other than to have a decent shag.
You don't feign love and you have no intention of it eveolving into a relationship.
All that matters is the sex.

It can be pre-planned with someone you know - it can be a spontaneous decision made with a virtual stranger. That aspect is not critical

And after you clean yourself there is no guilt whatsoever and a couple of hours later, his/her name has faded from your memory.

 

I would go on to say dont worry about it, but you are not really going to. This isnt your first post along these lines.

You are better off having mostly male friends, they get mellower as they get older. And by being a hussy you'll learn to avoid the guys that are going to turn into overprotective jealous knobs.

Your 'virginal' friends are just going to get cattier as they get older.

And you dont have to worry about the way you look, there are girls your grandmas age that still have a couple guys on the go at once, its never about the way you look, its all the other stupid shit the guys get fed up with. No games and pretty much rape them when you get them alone you'll be fine.

Just make sure you take care of College/Uni/Career as well so you never have to rely on aforementioned jealous overprotective knobs

 

I don't know how much I buy that. Women who worry about being called slutty or hussy always have the option to shut up about their personal lives. But, they never do. Hmmmmm....

That tells me their motivation is quite another from being free from judgment, for one. Secondly, maybe people get mad at how much unasked-for gruesome details they give about every little thing they do in the bedroom in completely inappropriate settings.

BTW, the Love and Sex forums is NOT an inappropriate setting to talk about sex like some HF posters seem to think. If anything, Bitter needs to spice up her posts A LOT to make them interesting.

But, keep that stuff out of the dinner table. People aren't forced to hear it. Being a slut has a lot more to do with what you say and how much PDA you put people through than what you do with your mouth in closed quarters.

And I would bet my bottom dollar Bitter is far from discreet IRL.

 

^^^ Interesting perspective...