My Wife Thinks We Need Another..... Wife???

Hey, all.

First post here and it's going to be a doozy. I just can't find anywhere else to talk about this openly and get some outside perspective.

My wife recently brought up the subject of us getting another "wife" for me. She thinks I need a 2nd wife who is still young enough to have another child and perhaps help with the household income. (My current wife is a "home" wife and I believe she is happiest in that role.)

Neither one of us are exactly "young." (I'm 44 and she's 52.) While I like the idea of having more kids, I'm not sure I have the extra energy to keep up with more than the one we already have! (We have a 10 year old daughter.) However, I think she REALLY wants another baby around, even if it's not hers.

Also, we only have a 2 bedroom house. One is ours and the other belongs to our daughter. I'm not sure where we would even put a 2nd wife. Our bedroom isn't big enough for a king sized bed so all 3 of us in there is out of the question. And where would we put another kid if we did have one??

I also think this might have something to do with exploring some "woman on woman" fantasies she has yet to fulfill. Of course, that part I can get into as long as I get to play too.

This is a subject we've joked about a bit over the 12 years we've been together but it's never really taken a serious turn like this. I don't know what has put this in her mind all of a sudden but she seems bent on finding us a 3rd. I'm not really complaining but this will change the dynamics of our whole relationship and I'm trying to find the bumps in the road before we hit them.

Are there any others in a situation like this? If so, how's it working out for you? Jealousy issues? Space? Incomes? Who's on top? How does a couple even go about "dating" for a 2nd wife?

Any advice is greatly appreciated!

 

Your biggest hurdle will be your 10 year old daughter.

 

Yeah, not exactly sure how we would explain that to her either. Although, she has told us for several years she wants a little brother or sister and doesn't seem particularly worried about how we get one. ( And yes, she is aware of the "facts of life." )

 

The problem comes with her having to explain it or lie about it to everyone else like grandparents, friends, neighbors, teachers, etc.

 

I see where you're coming from. I don't think I'd want her lying about it. Of course, that would depend on how much of the relationship she knew about/understood. I know my family would be open to us having a surrogate so we could have another child but they may or may not take to her being a permanent part of the family. It would depend on how the subject was approached I suppose.

 

Your idea has a lot of potential for trouble. Why not just adopt a child and find a lover separately from that? If your wife wants a child that is biologically yours, you could find a surrogate mother.

 

The annoying thing i found about your post is the not exactly young bit, jesus shit, i'm 51 and am in better condition than most 18 years olds. Get a grip mate, you are only as old as you feel or the person you feel so get yourself a nice 18 year old wife if you have too....

 

Having a family and a taxing job can be enough or too much responsibility even for people in their 20's. Not everybody feels 18 in their 50's. It's only responsible to take into account that in 10 to 20 years time you'll likely feel more tired than in this point in time.

 

I have had all that believe me babes, i work seriously hard and i ride and look after Horses too. I think it is negative mindset that makes you feel tired and worn out or maybe i'm just naturally a very fit guy....or eat the right things, no processed shit all natural and organic foods....

 

Good for you :2thumbsup:. I agree this has a lot to do with mindset and lifestyle. Leading an active life and doing sports usually helps (at least I hope :biggrin.

Not everybody feels that way though, which is ok as well.
It's more important that OP knows himself enough to understand what works for him and what doesn't.

 

I'm having enough trouble finding one wife,let alone two...

 

It is hard enough for a couple to find another woman to play with due to the fact that so many couples are looking for it! Can't even start to imagine how hard it would be to find one that would want to be a second wife to an older couple. Good luck to you though if that is what you two really want.

 

Let us know how it goes.

 

Thanks for the input, everyone.
It is definitely a rocky row to hoe.

We've been talking a bit more and I'm not sure now what will come of this if anything.

 

I've noticed a lot of couples looking for a play buddy on online dating sites. Being that I'm open about the fact that I am bisexual (prefer the term "pansexual"), I've gotten many messages about the topic. I'm not opposed to it at all, but I prefer this being brought about in a tactful manner!

 

Yes it is the most searched for thing for sure with couples in the lifestyle! I don't see how any bi sexual woman out there could ever have a problem finding couples to play with. It still is what my lady prefers the most when it comes to bringing others in. She is just as attracted to woman as she is men and doesn't get to be with a woman everyday so it is nice for her. We have all but given up trying to do it online and if we look again we will do it in person with her taking the lead. She has been building up her confidence to approaching other woman and being able to flirt with them. I love seeing her being happy with who she is.

 

I suspect this may be about as accurate as you'll get. I was married to a woman that told me the same thing. She said it even before we were married. After we were married, I found out she was a "closet lesbian", but having an "old man", she felt she didn't have to wear the title of "lesbian". Her idea was for "woman on woman", and I get to pay the bills and play with "Rosie".

I didn't work out very well.

 

I think the sedentary lifestyle most people lead these days, sets them up for a a miserable old age...their choice, so i say to anyone in their 20's and 30's get off your butts, give the xbox a rest learn to cook and have a great middle age........

 

Generalizing much? I can't stand playing video games for long, and I am one awesome cook I prefer to be playing outdoors, cooking over the campfire, and swimming. Ugh! I can't wait for warmer weather.