The Ultimate "Make an absurd accusation about the poster above" thread!

Is quicker than a Quick Fit fitter

 

is slower than a zimmer frame ha! ha!

 

wears matching rhinestone-encrusted knickers and bra

 

Invented the electric flute. [it didn't catch on]

 

Was too drunk to remember where he sat his drink down, so he took sips of random stranger's beer.

 

is after findin' puggy drink and givin' it ta bb

 

Used to be a a midget in a circus act, but mysteriously started growing, so lost her job.

 

Loudly boast and brags to all his co-workers "you all know if it wasn't for me things would really get done around here."

 

Thinks anything more than ten years old is an antique.

 

You can always tell when she's deep in thought,because she walks along the street stroking her pipe and smoking her beard.

 

Is a circus runaway with extremely small feet and a hidden talent for making lace napkins

 

wears clown shoes to mask the size of her feet.

 

Only comes to over visit as soon as you leave the house.

 

Used to try looking tough by leaning against walls on street corners,with her hat tipped forward,picking her teeth with a flick-hammer.

 

Strongly feels that everyone who showers naked is a huge slut.

 

when she was diagnosed as bipolar,she didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

 

Never knew the difference between white bread and bagels so makes every sandwich using both just to be safe.

 

Has a flip top mouth

 

Know that from personal experience.

 

Has placed a restraining order out against himself for being a stalker.