Snooped and found something I shouldn't have...

Yup, that's kinda weird. That's what you get for snooping through your boyfriend's porn. You find weird shit that you're not quite comfortable with, but is actually perfectly harmless. Welcome to human sexuality! Of course, looking at your boyfriend's porn while he's not around is kind of weird, too. I've gotta ask myself, who's the untrustworthy one here?

Ask him about it with this kind of accusatory attitude and expect one hell of an awkward conversation. Bring it up while asking him about texting his ex, and who knows what happens!

And how the hell do you know that he's texting his ex, anyway? Have you been snooping on his phone, too? Or does he tell you about it? If he's telling you about the conversations, they're probably innocent. Not that innocent conversations can't lead to sex. But what can you do? People cheat on each other. It's a fact. Being constantly paranoid about it isn't going to make him any less likely to cheat. You may find out about it somewhat sooner, but you have to weigh that against the possibility of ruining a perfectly good relationship by not trusting him.

 

OK, so you're not only snooping through his porn, but you're telling someone else about it. Someone who knows who he is.

That is a massive violation of privacy. You are being a horrible girlfriend. Stop now before you ruin this relationship.

 

she's not a horrible girlfriend....she's being cautious ..... i dont blame her

 

my best friend is in another city studying, hasnt met him yet. either way it's not wrong for me to confide in her especially when i know she's an understanding person. does it make me so horrible for wanting to talk things out as opposed to acting on it impulsively? it's not like i was talking about it for the sake of being a big mouth, i needed advice. if i hadnt discussed it here, or with a friend, i probably would have done or said something id regret.

anyways i brought it up to him a couple days ago. the main discussion of our conversation was as id mentioned in a previous post, the level of commitment of our relationship. it was a pretty casual convo and didn't take as long as i thought it would. according to him he wasn't necessarily hiding the photos from me, he said that he had thought i would come across them some day since we live together.

as for the one girl he'd texted recently and who he had a folder of nudes for, i told him i wouldnt be mad if they did exchange sexts during our relationship because after all, we were discussing what level of commitment we want and are comfortable with in this relationship. those photos were sent before we met and i trust that nothing has happened since besides them talking. he actually told me about this girl a while ago, just never mentioned the name. she was some1 he'd hooked up with back in the city he came from but she's gone through some rough patches so she confides in him from time to time. anyways he pretty much reassured me that he wants to be monogamous and well, that was that. i apologized for having seen those photos despite that he wasn't exactly hiding it from me or nervous that i saw them.

 

Exactly this! I don't think you have anything to worry about!

I keep a sticky of words/names that ressemble or reminds me of my exes... Your bf just chooses to do it the "picture" way! It explains why they're not sexual in any way.

 

Glad things were low key, and it was worked out.