I love to lick my girlfriend's ass and to stimulate her with my finger. She wants to do anal with me but the couple of times that we have tried it, it seems like she isn't relaxed enough. I have and love to spend a lot of time licking her pussy and asshole and assumed that like a pussy, foreplay is the way to go so that she feels relaxed. She has done anal a few years ago once with a boyfriend who she says wasn't very girthy at all. And I guess I am somewhat girthy (but by no means ridiculous) and it makes her tense because she thinks it will be uncomfortable. I don't want it to be a prison style ass rape. I would like it to be perfectly filthy and romantic but it doesn't seem like my efforts are relaxing her. And what is perhaps adding to it in the background is she is feeling like she is letting us down, when she completely isn't. I find it hot she wants to do it but I don't know what else I can do? Would anyone suggest toys instead of or along with usual foreplay? Even with a lubed finger after loads of licking she feels relaxed but not enough to put myself inside.
I found position to be extremely important. Whereas a typical porn video will depict Anal as being taken in the Doggy position, I found that, in reality, achieving any sort of penetration in this position was not only virtually impossible, as the penis would keep slipping away whenever any attempt at thrusting was made, but if a successful penetration was achieved, then it would usually be quite painful as well. Following a great deal of experimentation I found that the best all-round position was the basic Missionary, with the legs of the receiver hooked over the shoulders of the giver. In this way penetration became easy, and by being in a face to face scenario it's also a lot easier to adjust to your partner's desires.
See my #49 posting in "Girls, do you like your ass being licked?" I can just about guarantee you this will get you in her butt.
Get her a toilet bidet or washlet, lick her clit and ass, finger her ass while licking her clit, then lube her anal canal and your penis and very slowly burrow in. Her ass will pull you inside before you know it. Of course she must have relaxation and trust while you must have confidence.
I am a girl, and having the same problem. I just cant relax enough! Even though I REALLY want it up my ass, there still seems to be some sort of problem with relaxation It sucks!
Good advice from everyone, I think. Position is really important, but my best may be your worst. You will have to experiment. And speaking of experimenting, I think you simply MUST really trust your partner - but that's true of ALL really hot sex, at least for me. Initially at least, both of you must be 100 percent focused on YOUR pleasure (assuming you're a female). I won't even TRY anal with a guy that I don't trust completely. Lube is important, too, but we all know that. EVERYONE uses lube (except in the porn movies - and I'll bet THEY use it, too). Last, you really have to WANT to at least try anal for it to be successful. If you are just trying it to please your boyfriend and are convinced that it will hurt like hell - IT WILL HURT LIKE HELL! I wouldn't even TRY it until one of my married girlfriends confessed to me one night when we were both drunk how much she enjoyed taking it in the ass now and then. So the next weekend, I actually brought up the subject with my boyfriend. He was surprised and pleased - and he was so excited that I was afraid that he would pop his load before he even got it in me. But we went slow and it worked fine and I really love it. It really rounds out a whole sexual relationship, I think.
There are two sphincters, an outer which is under voluntary control, and an inner which is not under conscious control. The inner will relax under gentle pressure. Persist. When women complain about pain it is usually because they are trying to snap closed the outer sphincter. It can be reflexive, and once they suddenly start trying to snap it closed it will hurt. The object just needs to be withdrawn, and gently re-inserted a few seconds later once the pain has subsided, and her head is back in the game. A lot of chicks decide to 'give it' to him, but don't actually want it, and at the first pain they will clamp down and the internal blame game 'you hurt me' will start. And that is the end of it. Thoughts of it being gross, disgusting, there's smells, pain, poop, it's undignified, what would my mom think, it's degrading, I will get AIDS, only gays do it, etc. will guarantee that it will be a disaster.
Let me see if i understood her situation! She's willing to have anal with you, but she's afraid of your girth, and that makes her nervous and unable to relax! Maybe unconciously, but she's right on one thing: her muscles have to learn to relax and adapt to your size, which it's bigger than her previous experience. I can understand her! Her muscles and nerves have to be taugth to accept and enjoy the new situation! Your starting point is very good! She already enjoys licking and a finger up there, so when you do it to her, she's probably associating pleasure with that sensations! This association has to be maintained! If she was unconfortable, then she probably would associate disconfort or even pain with the exactly the same sensation! Me, my wife and most of the people that make or read this forum enjoy anal play! And i know what i'm talking about! The ideal solution would be to buy a set of buttplugs with different sizes, (that you may find in amazon or any other online sexshop) then, just encourage her to use the smallest one while masturbating... but that can be embarrassing for you and also weird or even misunderstood by her… There are some techniques to learn to stretch. You can also try it, and it will let you experience what she will feel, do you wonder why some porn actresses look happy and masturbate themselves while taking bigcocks in their ass? It's just because it's an incredible experience when you learn to enjoy it! But you need to adapt to it! Don't pretend to go from zero to 100 when she is somehow hesitant! As an starting point: Fuck her in her pussy with a finger circling and exerting pressure on her ass, until her ass feels soft,…if everything is okey, then your thumb may just enter in. Then you can press your cock with your thumb while fucking hard her pussy! You may provoke and intense g-spot orgasm this way, because your cock will rub also more intensely the G spot. The best technique to learn to adapt to bigger girth is (after some foreplay)to relax, try a mid size tapered buttplug with plenty of lube, insert what you can, relax and then clutch your ass around it as hard as you can, and then push out! That's enjoyable and will produce the sensation she need to learn to associate with joy! Then do it again everytime at bigger girth, and alternate that with slow pounding. Remember to clutch a little bit while pounding! That will teach your muscles to remember that situation and associate it with joy! I started this way and in 4 or 5 sessions could enjoy a dildo the size of my own cock in my ass, and that's 5.5" girth. My wife took it easier the first time as girlfriend...she was naugthy at that time, and she cummed hard at that time as always has happened doing anal , so it's all in our mind! I usually get her on her mood to fuck her in her ass just some days a year, but then she always cums super hard, as she does when i fuck her with a thumb in there, and happens much more often! So, fuck her! Have tons of sex, and some day will be the day! That day remember to be tender an proceed slowly, with long pauses to let her (and you) adapt to it and enjoy the new feeling! Just having your cock in her ass it's a wonderful experience for both, so relax and enjoy it! Ask her to clutch your finger/cock with her ass! Then she will taught her muscles the new situation and associate it with joy… She may ask you to pound her and then you’ll know that she is ready, but don’t be too frantic! Another technique that will bring her an big orgasm (anal orgasm?) Is to go down on her and then use two fingers, one in each hole, to masturbate her. To enter the finger in her ass you need to circle it and exert some pressure. ..Once in, you have to press lightly one finger against the other feeling the thin wall between vagina and ass and rub them together or alternating until she cums! You can use the other fingers on your hand to rub her vagina lips, and concentrate on her pleasure! I,m sure she will love it, and you can cause her multiple orgasms until she is soaked and exhaused! This will record in her mind a joyful feeling for the sensation, and probably will give her the craving to have 'things' up her ass. So next time maybe fuck her pussy with a tiny buttplug in her ass and so on! Enjoy!
I admit I found the initial penetration extremely painful when I first lost my Gay virginity - although the intensity of the orgasm experienced as a result more than compensated for those few seconds. Once penetration has been completed, then pain quickly gives way to pleasure, so long as the penis remains penetrated. Also, having experienced Anal sex once, subsequent sessions become easier as you quickly get used to the techniques required.
Too I found myself with the same problem. I want to have anal sex so bad so I tried it one night cause I thought by me being high and lil tipsy I could take it. I thought wrong we had to do vaginal. One week later my boyfriend and I tried it again but this time I had some lubricating jelly. When he started to ease it in I felt very uncomfortable but once he got it in I found myself relax and enjoying it. I enjoyed it more than I thought. I enjoyed it so much that I cummed all over myself.
The biggest sex organ is the mind - unless her mind is 100 percent happy with it, she won't relax. It is probably a fear of it hurting that is putting her off. You could try a beginners butt plug. Let her have a bath etc, lube it and insert it herself. Once she has worn it an hour or so, pull it out and try. It may take a few times but when she realises the butt plug doesn't really hurt, she will become more relaxed. You can also buy " relaxing" lubes/creams but no idea if these work. Doggie works best for us. Try changing position.
I tried it for the first time about a week ago. I'm guessing it was the second sphincter that caused me a lot of pain, so we gave up.
Lube is an absolute necessity for anal for the most part. The whole thing is relaxing. If the girl is relaxed and having a good time enjoying you eating and fingering her butt anal with lube will usually go smooth as butter. Most women will enjoy anal if they are atleast open to the idea and are familiar with anal pleasure before a penis is inserted. Most guys will try and selfishly start with the dick, what they end up with is 1 minute of anal with the girl saying she never wants to try it again. You're a pretty cool girl because even though it hurt like hell you were willing to give it a second try. Most girls aren't that cool, I'm sure you're man is very happy not only with your nice tight butt but also because you're willing to try something painful because you knew he wanted it. When the girl is relaxed she will notice that anal sex actually is very orgamic for most women. It is hard for my wife to cum from regular sex but she cums in less than 5 minutes from anal. Often times she gets in multiple anal orgams before I cum in her butt. There's just nothing to describe what it feel like going into a woman's butt it's just so warm, smooth, and tight. Not to mention the view, I mean what guy or girl does not get off at the sight of watching a nice butt get split.
Does it make you feel a lot hornier watching your penis just as it's entering her butt & you cum just as you are going in?
