GF Giving BJ's Less Frequently, Need Help

Gonna try and make this as short as possible while still leaving all relevant info intact.

GF and I been dating just over a year. The first few months, she gave me bj's pretty much every time we had sex. I also gave her oral prettu much every time we had sex. Then suddenly she gave them less frequently, to the point I had a talk with her and told her how important they are to me and if there was anything that made her comfortable. She said she didn't realize it was becoming less frequent and that maybe it was bc I couldn't alwaus finish and it made her feel like she was failing at it or not good at it. I assured her that wasn't the case and I just have trouble finishing ftom them.

So she started giving them more and things were fine for another few months. Then they dry up again. One day that blow my whistle song came on the radio and she said, "why are guys so obsessed woth bj's?" I explained why. Few days later, after eating her out, I get no bj. I moped and sulked after sex and she got me to tell her why I was acting that way. She said that I was making her feel uncomfortable about it and she felt pressured. I stop talking about it for a few weeks and she came around and started giving more bj's.

Well, they've dried up again. If we're in 69, she has no problem with it but I can't focus on the pleasure from it that way. I like the visual aspect of bj's. Now when she gives bj's, it's only for like a minute or two at most. Afraid she'll freak out if I bring it up or think that I think that I'm unhappy with our sex life.

What's my best course of action?

 

Put a birthday cake on top of your penis, then she'll at least blow once a year

 

been in the exact situation you are in with several women in the past 30 years.

Most likely explanation is she is upset with you over something you are doing now, that you weren't in the beginning or equally as important something you used to do in the beginning but don't do now. Either of these scenarios may make her feel less connected and therefore less inclined to try and please you.

For example. Let's say in the beginning you drank alcohol sparingly but now drink more, that could irritate her. Maybe you are going out with your friends more. maybe you used to sit with her while she watched her favorite tv shows but now leave the room and go do something else. maybe you were clean shaven and now you have grown a beard. maybe you used to dress nicely and wear cologne and now wear sweats and no cologne. What about hygiene? maybe you seemed confident and strong in the beginning but know she perceives you as too clingy or needy. maybe you used to pay more attention to her, send her flowers, texts, e-mails.

Maybe she has expressed her interest in marriage or children and you rebuffed her. maybe you don't treat her family well. maybe you side with your mother against her or complain about her cooking.


Women like sex. This includes sucking cock. They like making their man happy and being in control. If a woman is unhappy she often loses some interest in sex.

Finally you said you can't always finish that way. maybe she gets tired of sucking after a while. I have the same problem so my wife and I have worked it out; when I want a BJ she'll start and then after a few minutes I'll take over and start jerking off while she rubs my thighs, my abdomen, plays with my balls, sucks my nipples, shoves her finger in my ass, etc. When I get close she puts in back in her mouth right before I cum and then does a nice job finishing. This way her jaw, mouth, wrist, arm, etc, do not get overstressed.

talk to her and you can figure it out.

 

I have a couple theories:

1.) She feels that since I'll get to cum from sex that I don't need or want bj's that often.
2.) She gave the old bait and switch. She baited me with her frequent bj's early on to lock me in and now that she knows she has me, she feels she doesn't have to give them that much.
3.) There's something about bj's that makes her less willing to give them. I try to stay trimmed down there and smelling fresh. I don't grab her head and push down during bj's. I do thrust a decent amount but only bc that helps me cum from bj's.

I mean, I didn't even get a bj for my birthday last week. I've tried telling her once, in a sexy voice, that I wanted her to suck my cock after she asked what I wanted. She completely ignored it. I told her I like straddling her face and watching her suck my cock. She said she likes it too bc she likes seeing my reactions. Yet I've tried moving in that position after her saying that and she stopped my cock from her mouth and started jerking it, pretty much hinting she didn't want to give a bj.

She doesn't like being told what to do and am afraid she'll take it wrong way if I tell her I want more bj's.

 

Thx man. Think I've become too needy and clingy. We've also had more arguments/fights in past 6 months than in the first 6 months. Think those might be playing a role in it. So I should just have an honest, frank discussion with her about it while not trying to make her feel like I'm angry and just trying to find the reason why? I've become a lot more lax in the relationship but I still treat her to dinners, text her all the time, give her rides to and from work, watch tv and movies with her and spend lots of quality time with her.

 

yeah, maybe break the routine and get out of town for a weekend to somewhere fun and new. She'll remember what she liked about you in the first place.

also most women hate it when things get deadly serious. So when you want oral make a joke about it or be mildly sarcastic or say something witty. People underestimate the importance of humor. And just remember; trust and respect are the most important things in a relationship but equally important is the ability to communicate with each other. Pay attention to her, to little comments she makes and talk with each other constantly. My wife and I are best friends because we have almost 17 years of talking about everything and anything. Hard to stay made at your partner when you are best friends. it requires lots of compromise and personal evolution but the result is so worth it.

finally, even though my wife and I have sex 3-5 times/ week I only ask for a blowjob about once a month. She'll suck my cock as foreplay but mostly women want to feel their man's cock in their pussy alot more often than in their mouth, so maybe next time you're in bed, aftr a little kissing just whisper to her:" suck my cock for a minute and I'll fuck you hard". Also you could cum inside her and then ask her to suck your cock clean.

 

Afraid having another talk about it might make her feel uncomfortable or pressured into giving bj's. Read stuff that says you gotta be in more control than her in the relationship to get her to respect you and want to please you. I'm too accomodating and a pushove. Prettu much to be the man in the relationship and she'll want to pleasure you more often.

What about giving her less oral until she starts giving more bj's or turning down her sexual advances after eating her out? Some guys say that denying her sex after eating her out will sort of short circuit their brain bc they're not used to getting turned down. By playing it cool and not acting frustrated that they're not getting bj's, the women eventually starts craving sex so much that they will be falling on their knees for you.

Just afraid that she might see either of these as passive aggressive ploys to get her to give more bj's, which they practically are. Afraid it might backfire in this case.

 

Thx again. We've bern stuck in a routine but we both work and go to school so not mucj free time. Will try to switch it up more often though. I know not to outright ask for a bj or to complain about lack of bj's. Like your idea of using humor to lighten up the issue at hand (or mouth ). What about saying something like "I want to watch your pretty face while you suck my cock" or "it gets me so excited watching your lips wrapped around my cock" in a sexy, sweet voice?

 

Welcome to the human race. Women use sex to control men.

That's it.

 

Maybe she's giving for bj's than ever and has no energy left when it comes time for you.

 

The only person who has the answer is her.

You need to talk to her. She needs to understand the importance you place on oral sex in a relationship; being in a relationship means being aware and helping with each others needs. Perhaps you could start of the conversation by trying to get her to open up about what she may want/need more of in the bedroom (or outside the bedroom). Also, the 'newness' of relationships will wear off; try to keep sex fresh and new - that includes new ways of giving and receiving oral.