what happens after life? ..my experience..

Setting:
I had recently cut off 1/3 of my index finger with a log splitter a month ago and have been unable to do much work but have been thingking alot about giving up my career of tree work and high risk landscaping. After 10 safe years of masonry and tree work this year brought a broken foot, 2 broken fingers and a cut off finger. I was out of green and just did a tiny amount of k the night before and like how k makes your mind dream so i figured id get some salvia again.
I have done Salvia before but nothing ever happened. This time i meditated before and asked it to help me loose weight and be healthy as i calmed my body. I then took two HUGE hits and at the end of the first hit I saw the space between my pipe and my face grow with more space as if i was shrinking. After that i don't remember!
Next thing i know im looking at the door frame and the wall which keeps getting shown to me as a picture over and over.
I was gone, there was no me, there was just this door and wall i was looking at. I knew i was looking at it but from where i dont know. I felt the most horrific sense of terror and fear and dissapointment i have ever felt. There was feeling still alive, but it was so scary and fearful, complete terror that this was it. Just a wall flaashing before me, nothing before it in time and nothing after it in time just the wall, so boring. I must have looked towards my bed although i had no idea how to move because the next thing i saw was my dog coming to me and looking really weird, but he was still part of the flashing pictures as well and although i felt helpless and gone, seeing him made me feel better even though he looked afraid of me it was better than nothingness at all, it was him, something that i recognized, but why did i recognize him but not the door way and wall?
I think if there was a way to describe it is like death as many have said, but its quite a bit more than that, death unlike you would ever imagine. I always thought death brought people you knew, ancestors, and a calm feeling??
Before going into the trip i meditated and my guide brought me to a bright white light and emerged me into it, was she trying to keep me safe i wonder? was it me trying to keep myself safe. My spirit guide is artemis, protector of light. I thought i might see her, but i did not have the ability to do anything but "die".
---I know that my guide is real because of the things that she has taught and told me but it makes me wonder what this drug is that i smoked. ---
Doing salvia brought me to these questions as well:
Are angels and demons "real" but just manifestations of human consciousness.
Do we die with the feelings we bring to the grave?

(not during the trip)One time when my grandmother was dieing i awoke at 3:30 a.m. 2007 and knew someone had died as soon as i awoke. Next thing you know as i close my eyes i see a tunnel of eyes like alex greys paintings. Then i open my eyes and in the corner of my room i see a lady dressed in all black and her face completely black. Before her death when i enter my space of meditating or daydreaming i kept seeing a black coach, which after going to her funeral and looking through a book about death carriages of the 1800s realized it was the grim reapers buggy. After this trip i realized it was the grim reaper, but when i was tripping i didn't see any reaper or thought there would be anything coming for me it was just a death of an ego and the feelings i had when i entered grew as the trip went on.
Im in dissaray right now tring to figure out what happened and how it all fits together if at all with death.
Or what it means to trip on Salvia.

After i knew where i was i looked for my phone and wallet my two most important things not to loose. then i checked my wood stove and went into bed till my gf got home. To me it was the most horrific thing imagineable, like a true hell. And although i was frightened out of my mind and was so dissapointed with the reality i am so intruged by it now and want to return soon. I have done alot of psychedelics and tripped before but nothing AT ALL like this, there was nothing comforting until i saw my dog just pure hell.

I wonder after life, we have no eyes, no nose, no human body so i take it we cant see, smell, everything we have known our whole lives, ripped from us.
It makes me think as well that love is a human manifestation and not something real, just a feeling, do we feel love after life and during death?


Anyone wanna give there .2 cents on any of this?

 

You remember that time before you were born, probably not because you didn't exist - death is more than likely just like that, a time "before" you were born (non-existent).

If there is an afterlife, it would mean you aren't really dead - the term afterlife is just another way humans try to cling to life in the face of our impending death. Though, no one alive really knows if this is it, so my advice: just to assume this is your only rodeo - get on the bull and ride it out.

As for your story, interesting...but your episodes/visions don't go beyond the capacity of a dream in my opinion or rather dreams are just as vivid and "magic" like in their process so they aren't outside of the brains ability to conceive. After-all even with the aid of psychedelics, you or rather your subconscious brain is narrating your trip. My $.02

 

i have little to say but since you posted in the meditation/yoga section i will speak to that effect

little of what you experienced has to do with ability to liberate negative or uncomfortable mental/emotional states, or achieve center

in life, what is most important is life

i got a fortune cookie once which said,
man is born to live and not prepared to live

i would recommend living before you die
that seems like real wisdom to me

if there are spooks which haunt this realm, then they are the spirits of those who lived poorly

 

also did your spirit guide guide you to cut off your finger and smoke salvia? i think you need more than a spirit guide, you need a clear integration with life which will bring you the ability to fulfill your deepest goals, not just what fluff blows across your imagination

do some saraswati chanting, clean out the mold from your mansion