Feeling guilty

You guys should get on board with each other.

 

My lady and I starting living the swinging lifestyle just over a year ago together! It was something we did not enter into lightly. We also did not start doing it, because we felt anything was lacking in our sex life. It already was and still is amazing. Communication is how you make this happen. Real honest communication with each other where both partners can say what they feel without the other judging them. Both partners also must be secure and trust each other. We both love the fact that even though we are very much in love and want to spend our life together we can bring others in for playtime without any drama. We only play together and for us it is about sharing the experience together. There are so many hot and sexy things that can be done with extra bodies that cannot be without. The other plus is my lady gets to enjoy her bi sexual side by being with other women as well.

We have had no bad side effects at all to our real relationship together! If any thing it has only brought us closer together. Knowing we have such a good bond together that nothing else is going to get in the way of it. It is also a real confindence boaster to know that not only does your partner find you sexy and want you, but so do others and your partner just get more turned on by that. My lady has never really had any problem being sexually confident, but since we began doing this it has just soared to an even higher place. There is nothing better then being with a woman that feels good about herself and doesnt feel the need to surpress her sexual being.

 

I don't think it's really an arbitrary double standards as something built into his bloodstream. Through evolutionary lineage men are the protectors. That's all our job is and has been for thousands of years really. Hunting and gathering is usually a shared duty, raising the kids is usually either shared or female focused; making money has gone in and out of being 'for the men', but that was mostly after the last great war that it became socially uncool for a woman to work.. all men do is protect. And he can't protect you when he's not there; he can't protect you when you're with another male -- one who's not of your clan.

That being said, if you guys are going to commit to this lifestyle it has to be on mutual terms. It doesn't sound like you are very satisfied by these terms. Ways of compromising.. you could suggest that you'll only go with girls, but he only go with guys. You could have a mutual hangout with any prospects first, so he can have a chance to size him up; just a casual interview where you all go out and drink and talk a bit or something. Or you can make rules. It's common for couples starting out swinging to make rules so that they can get more comfortable and maybe loosen the rules upon later discussions. The most common rule is no vaginal. There is most likely some way you can meet your fantasy and make him comfortable. You might just have to ease into it though.

And just out of interest.. Do you have any qualms at all about him being with other women?

 

Quite frankly I dont think humans were ever really meant to be monogamous in the way we are. I think old traditions however have cemented this in us and thats just the way we live. Very few animals lice this way and i feel humans were not meant to be the exception however it may be best we did turn out this way. who knows. point is blame society

 

It's one-sided with me as well. That's where one partner has deeper insecurities than the other. My wife has been with five other men in the last few years but I can't remotely appear to be attracted to another woman. I just had to accept that it's the way it is. I don't think it rules out the event ever happening but it is quite unlikely. Unfair maybe but that's reality in a relationship. Your husband may agree at some point but I can almost assure you he won't like it.

To address your first questions, if it were one mate for all time (that's an ecumenical matter for Father Ted fans) then divorce rates and cheating spouses wouldn't be so common place. You're very much normal my lady. You may find that the only way you can get satisfaction may be to keep it secret and don't tell him. Hate to say that but it's (again) reality.

 

Sex is not necessarily exclusive in a marriage. We had the same problem years ago, but we talked openly a lot about it. I think that communication is very important in a marriage. So that's how we started swinging. Now, we are having intercourse with other people like once a month, with people from this dating platform called swinginglove.club. Basically, we are searching for people which both of us like, we are chatting with them and if there is a connection between the four of us, we are going further. Being attracted to other people is a natural thing. The most important thing is to know how to separate sex from love. I don't know if swinging is for everyone, but, for us, it really worked. And, as I said, talk to your husband! Talk, talk, talk and talk again! Good luck!

 

Its the Adam and Eve programing of humans. Switch over to Adam and Lilith, (friends with benefits) she did not want a husband just a fuck friend.

 

We've been married for nearly 20 years. In that time and before while dating, we have had several partners. Swinging is much more common than you think. The only time we were exclusive was in the beginning, getting to know each other and learning if we both wanted the same thing.

 

I am having sex outside of marriage and so is my wife I am probably having more sex than her.I do have a high sex drive and my wife and I are still strong together.