Power of positive thinking???

Ok so in another post I let people know I'm severely depressed and have anxiety. Everybody says stay positive. I've tried to read self-help books but they seem to be a little cheesy to me. So all you people out there that are blessed with positive thinking. Tell me your stories and give me some tips. I feel that medication is only half of feeling good. The other half is changing what's in your head.

 

While I think that positive thinking stuff is good, I think it's easy for people to get carried away and think they need to be/feel positive all the time, which is impossible. Your feelings are not wrong, they are valid and real, even when you feel like shit. Acknowledge your feelings for what they are without judging them. Work on sitting with your feelings until they pass. I can relate to you bc I've dealt with serious depression and anxiety as well. Self growth comes when you're able to be honest and loving with all parts of yourself and your feelings.
Reframing negative thoughts on paper, journaling, keeping positive quotes/affirmations around somewhere in your house or room, doing art, using "coping skills" that work for you. All of those have been very beneficial to me.
I really recommend you read Succulent Wild Woman by SARK or really anything by her if you haven't. She's about "self-help" and empowerment in a very vibrant, honest, real way. Her books are not like other books, they are formed as a kind of colorful, creative insight to things she's working on imperfectly and learning. And she writes her books by hand and incorporates her artwork into them. I hope you check her out on amazon!
Also, being grounded in the present moment is an amazing help & gift. Depression and anxiety are able to lift up some and make space for positive change when we are present instead of wrapped up in our thoughts.
Have you read Thich Nhat Hahn or Pema Chodron? They write beautifully on self-care and mindfulness.

 

Thank you so much for your honest response! I've heard so many people say "fake it til you make it". I've tried that so many times and I'm still faking it lol. I do keep a journal and write in it occasionally but I have switched to just going into word on my computer and just typing away because I can type my thoughts faster than I can write them. Or if I don't want to express it in words, I use photography. I just started picking that hobby up again and I gotta say it is kind of exciting.

I have not read Succulent Wild Woman or anything by Pema Chodron BUT I have read and own many books by Thich Nhat Hahn. I absolutely love him! He does write beautifully and so simply. What is your favorite book by him? For me I would have to say "Peace is Every Step". That was the first book I bought of his and it was a real eye opener. The one passage that always stuck with me was to imagine yourself sitting on a riverbank watching the river go by. Imagine that your thoughts are the water and as they pass by acknowledge them then let them go. That has helped me a lot when I am having a panic attack. I know you mentioned something similar in your response but I felt it was so ironic that you brought that up Would you mind if I friend requested you? I need more positive people in my life even if it's just over the computer

 

Really?? How about changing what's bothering you in your life through action?

 

There isn't anything in my life I would change. It's all negative self-talk. Lack of self-esteem. That's the problem. Looking at my life someone could wonder why I am feeling this way. I have the husband, the house even a wonderful step-daughter but I still struggle everyday.

 

I have always viewed positive thinking as merely another way of fooling one's self into thinking s/he is happy. I would rather be me than fool myself into something I am not. Happiness, after all, is 90% perception and only 10% reality. Therefore, those who believe in positive thinking to make themselves happy are not living in reality.

 

Seems to me, what you have is what's been prescribed to you rather than what you really want. Husbands are a dime a dozen and nothing to brag about. Husbands are just a crutch for insecure people.

When was the last time you've actually accomplished something on your own that you're passionate about?

 

So to live in reality everyday means that happiness will naturally occur?

 

Husbands are a dime a dozen but a supportive, loving, and understanding husband that has been through a lot with me isn't. I believe he isn't a crutch. I love him very much and believe we are soul mates. We have a special connection. I don't feel I came off as bragging either. That was all I was trying to accomplish. My husband and my family are my support system. I'm working on getting better to accomplish something that I'm passionate about but at this point, I am not in any kind of emotional/mental condition to try to achieve that now.

And I don't understand your statement about what I have has been prescribed to me. Could you please elaborate?

 

just ignore him. he thinks that relationships are all awful and is just going to tell you about the benefits of fucking hookers instead.


have you thought about cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)? it can be expensive if it isn't covered by your health plan, but i've found that it's the only thing that has really helped me with my anxiety. if you can't afford to go, you could probably find a book that can help walk you through a little bit of it.

 

You cannot fool yourself. You obviously are not. Because people who are depressed generally tend to ignore it, and do not think they are. This is the first and more important step to becoming a better and happier you. I would know because I can relate.

The next step is identify what is the source of your down bringing. I've been secretly a bit depressed since after high school, but it got a bit progressively worse as time went on. You know, I still tried to act like I was this happy child, but deep deep down inside, I was not, and I didn't realize it at the time. Only until recently when it all hit me at once and I almost came to tears because of the realization, it was pretty overwhelming. But it turned out the actual source was my own father, who would put me down, call me horrible names and was just not a supportive figure in my life. I wasn't being an ungrateful son or anything, but my mother agreed with me, and he is who he is.

So at the beginning of this year, I asked my mother if I could move in with her and she was more than happy. I did so, and as Robert Frost would say, "that made all the difference." I could not be happier living with her, there is no negativity and it's only smoothing sailing from here. So I hope LizardQueen that you do what I did and really analyze your surrounding to find the root that is evil in your life. Good luck! Peace and love sister

 

If you can drive yourself depressed or anxiety ridden with negative thoughts, imagine what you can do with positive ones.

I'm not euphoric everyday, but I can be neutral about a lot of things that used to bother me. There's still a balance of good and bad, but you start to see a lot of trivial things don't need to be bad.

Try reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. At the very least, helps you not fight your ego, learn to not take your negative thoughts personally, and not feed the problem.

 

EggSprog, your reply doesn't make sense. "Just ignore him"??? I think you should read what I actually said before you go and make nasty statements about my husband. Or better yet, don't reply at all.

 

lol i'm talking about Cherea, not your husband.

 

ok I apologize then. I'm on edge all the time and it's so hard to see what statement is directed at who. I'm seeing a therapist but I don't know if it's cognitive behavioral therapy. It seems like pay me and I will waste your time therapy honestly. I've been to so many, I really wonder if there is anybody out there that actually wants to help people rather than just collect the money.

 

If you see nothing wrong with these two sentences, there's very little I can say to you. Your goal in life is to have a husband (no career goals, no hobbies, no passion), and you wonder why you have to resort to mental masturbation?

 

I believe positive thinking has made a world of difference in my life. I've dealt with depression and anxiety for years. I constantly thought negatively and it wasn't doing anything for me. I have taken different medications and they haven't helped much either. I decided one day that I need to change my way of thinking. I started thinking positively as much as I could. It's hard at first, but once you start it just gets easier.

Also, at night time before I fall asleep I close my eyes and think of all the things that are making me depressed or anxious. I don't dwell on them, I just bring them into my thoughts, acknowledge them, and let them pass. I take deep breaths, tell myself not to worry and fall asleep.

I try not to worry about the things that I cannot do anything about, too. If I am worried about something, I ask myself if there is anything I can do to change it. If there isn't, I try my hardest not to worry about it. I believe you shouldn't worry about the things you cannot change.

These things have worked very well for me, and I am in the process of getting off my medication so I can actually feel normal. Good luck to you! Think positive

 

Maybe accomplish wasn't the right word in that sentence. I was trying to explain (rather than accomplish) that I wasn't bragging about my husband and I felt that good husbands are not a dime a dozen.

I have career goals. I would like to be involved in some kind of daycare. I love children and being around them and being able to teach them things brings me a lot of joy. Hobbies at the moment is crocheting and photography. I used to read but my concentration just isn't as good right now with my mind always jabbering away. My passion at this point once I get into a better state of mind is to spread that positive message. It's very hard right now to try and figure those things out because I feel like I don't know who I am right now and I'm slowly exploring and feeling my way around to put myself back together and know who I am.

 

Thank you for sharing your experience! I have tried to think positive but you are right. It is REALLY hard to switch that negativity. I also have a lot of negative self-talk that is constantly making me feel self-conscious about myself. When I have an anxiety attack, I close my eyes and try to acknowledge the feelings that are surfacing and the thoughts associated with them and let them go. That process I am starting to get a handle on. I think what I need to do is to sit down after the day is over and list my accomplishments, no matter how small. Even if it's "today I tried to crochet but couldn't" and combat it with a positive thought "Maybe tomorrow I will be more focused and try again". What medication are you currently trying to get off of?

 

In this post, you sound on good footing to me. Good luck.