Small Penis, a problem?

So I met this guy, we've been dating for a few weeks. We both have children so our dates have been mostly in a home environment. This weekend, for the first time, things got a little physical. And it turns out, he has quite a small pe.nis. Thing is, I like him enough for this not to be a problem.

However, I know that there would be a further loss of sensation if we used cond0ms, so I suggested that I went on to the pill so that we would be covered if/when we decided to have s£x.

This, he took as me saying that I have unprotected sex with other guys, and so asked that I attended an STI clinic. Which I said I was fine with, as long as he did too and I booked us an appointment.

Last night, he basically told me he didn't believe that I had not had s£x without a cond0m with my last couple of boyfriends and made me feel quite sl*tty, and he asked what the difference was this time. I didn't want to tell him it was because of his small penis, because he already told me that he had had a bad experience years ago when someone was quite cruel to him over it.

Last night ended quite horribly, he left, things were awkward. So this morning I text him to tell him WHY I had suggested we go 'bare' and that it was more to do with potential lack of sensation.

So... he now tells me that he feels like cr*p and "I'm not sure where this leaves us to be honest". I've tried saying that it doesn't matter, and my feelings for him haven't changed... But looks like I'm dumped anyway!!

I mean, that's shallow, right? Him knowing that we might have to pay a little more attention and patience int he bedroom has scared him off? But it was perfectly okay for him to make me feel like I was irresponsible and could be carrying disease?

I'm really upset. I like this guy an awful lot, and things were fine before this. I don't know what do.

 

Moral: size does matter.

 

He sounds rather insecure. If his size is ok with you, why wouldn't it be ok with him. It sounds like you have been honest with him, so if he doesn't come back to you, he probably is no good for you anyway.

 

My question is, does he have an erectile issue, or the actual size issue? The reason why I'm asking is because the size and condom use correlation aspect you're talking about doesn't make sense to me. It would, however, make more sense if he had trouble maintaining his erection.

 

Hi Alternative

No erection problems that I know of. The reason I would want to steer clear of condoms is because I get very lubricated, and this has caused loss of sensation with partners before. So I'm assuming that with a guy with a smaller penis it's going to be an even bigger problem. And using a condom further de-sensitises... So it would make sense to not use one for heightened sensation, no?

Thanks for your replies

 

You didn't want to use a condom, he made the RIGHT call and assumed you should be checked out.

Either you like him enough that it matters, or you don't.

It's not him being shallow. But it is SOMEBODY being shallow and childish. Either you'll fuck him, or not. Figure it out, and follow through with whatever you choose.

 

i don't believe that you didn't bareback your last couple lovers either.

 

This.

Anyways, if you've enlarged the batcave for storing semi trucks, that's not batman's fault, he's still going to be driving the same batmobile.

 

He has disrespted you, draw your own conclusion.

 

ehhh, OP is not childish, no... i think people are being too hard on rollacoasta here. sounds like the guy is being childish

she was perfectly willing to go to a clinic and get tested, which is what the guy asked for, if he can't come to terms with his small dick and just get over it already i mean c'mon it's not a big deal. it's really a pretty small deal actually

she clearly is willing to work with it, it's his problem, not hers

whatever she's done in the past is her business, if she can produce clean test results that's all he needs to know, and she indicated she was ready to do that...

 

zing!

 

Wait a minute... Let me get this straight. You suggested that you guys not use a condom and the guy took offense to it?! Are you serious?

I'd actually have to side with you on this one. However, I think you're both making too big a deal over this. Plus I think you messed up by having the conversation before you even had sex in the first place. What ever happened to letting things happen naturally? If you use a condom the 1st time fine... if not, fine too. Then you can have those conversations afterwards, so it's not as offensive to peoples feelings.

 

This is sad. He freaked and should've just gone with the flow.

 

Well, not exactly. See, in my opinion you made one big mistake, and that was to simply make an assumption based on your past experience. Truthfully, I've never heard of ample lubrication being a desensitization factor before.

Besides, the idea of unprotected sex for the first time would seem alarming to most people who would have a more sensible approach toward this kind of thing. At least I like to think it would. I give you credit for being willing to get tested, but you must try to realize that the damage may have already been done the moment you suggested unprotected sex. That, in my opinion, is the step reserved for a couple who are serious and committed about their relationship, unless you're in the adult industry, of course.

Another thing, you say the size isn't a problem, but you actually made it a problem by voluntarily coming up with a so-called "solution", based on your mere assumption, and pretty much took it upon yourself to deal with it without really trusting his own decisions/judgment. I'm sure your intentions were good, but it ultimately wasn't for you to deal with. Let him deal with his own size issue. It sounds like he's self-conscious about it, but that doesn't mean he is excessively insecure and incompetent to the point where he can't even deal with it without someone else deciding every step he should take.

With that, I'd like to say I agree with below for the most part.

Although - and I say this because people have been bringing up the "respect" issue - I don't think either one of you was being terribly disrespectful in this case, rollacoasta. Your partner certainly wasn't, and I can understand how you tried to approach the matter with good intentions. If anything, I personally think that you two just weren't ready for that next step(sex) yet. I haven't gotten a gist that you two have been really communicating well from what I've gathered. Sure, you say you both have kids and you make it sound like you're experienced enough to be able to handle sex. But if you were, then I don't know if this kind of problem would have happened...and in the way it did.

I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but this is what I was able to see from your posts.

All the best,
::AT::

 

I think you made a lot of great points in your post. But I disagree with this. It really depends on the person and their comfort levels. Everyone is different. Some people are absolutely paranoid about unprotected sex, and others are much more open minded about it (and when I say unprotected I mean without a condom). To suggest that it should be reserved only for people in serious relationships (or the adult industry) is just ridiculous IMO. But we're all entitled to our opinion. I'll just respectfully disagree on this matter.

 

This should be filed under 'if you dont like the answer, dont ask the question'

if all came back negative from the sti checks it wouldn't have meant anything if you had or hadnt gone bareback with your past 2 bf's, why did he have to push for an answer. you could have fucked a whole football team. this guy sounds a like a fool, he's got no right to question your integrity this way. u should teach him an important lession and never let him into your house, let alone your bed. Then the next time he gets the chance to go bareback he'll keep his mouth shut.

 

While I get what you're saying and agree to a certain point leeds85, I just think the whole tone of "teach him an important lesson" is just spiteful and immature.

The OP should just wait patiently and either move on or attempt to mend the damage done in the relationship if that opportunity arises because either case of action will involve both parties.

 

RooR's seventh law of thermodynamics:

Condoms increase penis mass.

It's a fact of physics.

 

The best lessons we learn in life are by our mistakes and this guy should learn his.


Now the real problem with this thread is, when you minimise this window, the minimised window reads 'small penis problem?'
Not great if you've just collapsed the window because your boss came over to look at your screen :computer: