I so hate my dad...

Okay, it's 1:26 am here right now n I just need to say this... I FUCKING HATE MY DAD! SERIOUSLY I REALLY DO!

I've been crying for three hours because I just realized how much he really doesn't care about me. He doesn't love me, he doesn't care about how I feel about anything!

He was never there for me when I was younger, he always worked and worked, and worked, and... you get the point! When my brother was raped all he cared about was still himself, he even sent my poor big bro away to a fosterhome because HE couldn't handle a child being so closed up, and HE FORCED mom to sign the papers if she didn't she would be a bad parent he said.

Thanks to my fucking dad I lost 6 years with my brother, I only saw him once a month during those years, sometimes we didn't see eachother ever month, it could pass two or three months before I could see him. And thanks to that fucking rapist (wich was actually dads fault too that my brother got raped cuz they hired this guy from the social services to help my brother stimulate his energy FU DAD) anyways, thanks to that rapist I was barely allowed to touch my brother, I didn't understand why, now I do! but back then I was only 6 years old, I didn't understand much.

My parents got seperated when I was 6 dad found a woman when I was 8 got engaged to her, then broke up. then at age 12 he found a motha fucking bitch I hate so much I just wanna strangle her! Though they had dated w/o him telling me or my bro about it for like two years (wich means I was 10 when they first met). She always has SOMETHING to say, and its NEVER something NICE! She has called me a fucking spoiled brat a few times and ofc that makes me upset, I was only 12! She can say so much rude things and she always complain on everything I do!

Anyways my brother moved home to my dad when he was 16 (I was still 12) wich meant I saw him lesser than before. Then he moved away to a highschool far away wich meant I only saw him on christmas, new year and a lil during summer break. Then on jan 26th 2010 he died in a car crash, it was tradgic for everyone ofc it was... after that I've sorta closed myself up a lot, n I started cutting too... back to the point, that same year my dad and his fucking wife got married and had a child only a month after my brother's death, how dare they, the fucking child was born two months too early!! And now days my dad and I never talk online neither does he call or write, yes I've pushed him away, but only because he never defends me whenever his wife is being extremly cruel to me, her sons on the other hand (she has three sons, 21, 21 and 19 are their ages) anyways her sons on the other hand THEY DEFEND ME whenever they think their mom crosses the line, I love those boys, they truly are like my real brothers but their mother is a fucking whore!

My dad, only cares about himself and his new baby girl, and he is doing everything for her, all those things he should had given me when I was a baby. And that is why I really hate my dad, because he doesn't love me.

 

Wow, you sure are selfish.

 

Selfish... yea a little.

 

sorry that this is going on tayworrr

you have an asshole dad. it's not fair, and it's especially sad about what happened to your brother.

so you may not want to have a relationship with him anymore.

it's good though that your step brothers are good.

life has a way of dumping shit on people. maybe you can get through this, and someday maybe become a foster parent, so you can give a chance to someone that your brother didn't have.

 

I'm all for wise-ass comments in the right situations.

threads where someone is pouring their heart out is not one of them

 

Blaming her dad for the boy's rape really comes off as her being more than a little emotionally over the top and we're not getting anything that's remotely a fair perspective here.

The real problem seems that everything is all about her, or if it's not, she will find a way to make it about her.

 

Your father is a victim of male enslavement. Notice how all he does is work... That's what all males are conditioned to be like. If you saw that you would pity him rather than hate him. As a male it is a struggle to express ones self and if you try to express yourself people might try to brainwash you into believing you are homosexual even if you are heterosexual. I am a heterosexual male and having feelings does not make one a homosexual. Doing homosexual things makes one a homosexual.

 

Charming isnt it, sign away the kid, whisk him off to foster care so no one really finds out, thats more inportant than the kid, your mum 'had' to sign him away too.

Then start again,new marriage, new kids and likely sit around with his mates talking about the importance of strong family values and the bond he has with his kids....just as long as none of them find out about you

 

spending a lot of time at work does not make him a slave. certainly, if he was working for the sake of his family, then that is laudable.

we don't know the reasons why he was always working, or even that he was in fact working during the time that he claimed to be at work

 

if enslavement means that he will do anything for the one he loves even if it breaks another ones heart, then yes. He dont think or make his own decisions he never has and never will! He has changed a lot my dad, before I could talk to him about anything, now I'm scared of him. He's not as he used to be, when he had diorced my mom he took me and sometimes my bro too n did loads of fun things he laughed, he seemed happy, but now, he never do those things, well until my baby sister came to earth, they do lots of things together and he never invites me to join. I LOVE my baby sister, she is very cute and fun, normaly I HATE children, but she is calmer than most kids, but I cant spend time with her cuz it takes 1 1/2 hour to get there and if the wife is home she'll only walk on my nerves until I start crying, I always leave their house with tears on the way.

 

Tay....this stuff creates years of hurt and disappointment and resent. There's no reason a child should have to bear this crap parents put on them. It should not be expected you be more adult then he. I'm not sure what to say except for you to talk it out with a professoinal so they can help you process how much accumulated anger you have.

 

He was probably not working ALL the time, mom thought he was cheeting on her once and he did have gambling problems. Whenever he said he was going to take a walk mom asked if I could join, only so we could have some kind of quality time, he took me to pubs and small casinos where I watched him gamble our money away, I was only 4-5 years old so I just thought it was fun, he even let me play a few times.

 

I've already been to so many therapists and I honestly just think they are stupid people that dont give a shit about what I'm trying to say. I've tried getting people to listen to me but I guess I'm just one of those people that aren't even worth listening to.

 

I didn't read the whole thing, but I skimmed through it.

You're 17..wait 10 years and revisit this topic

My dad couldn't handle me until I was about 21 and he acted the same way pretty much.

 

I dont want anything to do with my dad, he had his chances to make things right, I've kept an open mind, I've tried being nice to his wife, I've done so much and my mom has tried to help way too much and nothing has helped. I've had enough of it.

 

Be careful that you don't feel sorry for yourself. It might make things look more bleak. In my experience, there are spots on a tiger that you can't turn into stripes on a zebra. Clearly, you were handed this because you can overcome it.

 

I'm trying not to feel sorry for myself, instead I think that there are ppl out there that has it worse than me. Though sometimes things can get out of hand and thats when I just sit and cry for hours, just like tonight. It's 3 am n I still can't sleep, got school so theres no use in going to bed now.

 

no, you are worth listening to.

the problem may be that the therapists that you've seen aren't good, or at least aren't a good match for you.

also, when someone sees lots of clients everyday, there is a big emotional strain. people who care have to either find a way to distance/protect themselves or they burn out quickly.

maybe finding a combination of a good therapist and connecting with people on-line, and friends and relatives irl might help.

sometimes I can just make myself go to sleep. focus really hard on keeping my mind clear while I'm in bed, and I go to sleep.

 

HERE came something interesting! My social life is the internet, I have 0 friends I have huge comunication problem and I also have really big trust issues. Being to a therapist only makes everything so much worse! I want to be able to talk with people but I suppose I'm not quite ready to open up for anyone except on the internet, cuz here I dont have to feel hurted as irl. And the only one I trust enough to chat a little with irl is my mom, but I still can't tell her everything, neither can I show her that I love her.

 

Tay, I'm sorry that you lost your brother in the car accident. I lost a brother, but we were both older when it happened. My daughter lost her first boyfriend to a motorcycle accident. Our family is still friends with his family. One of his sisters has alot more trouble dealing with her grief than the other siblings. It is very, very difficult to lose a brother. Only time will soften that pain.

I'm thinking that maybe your dad began to change when your brother was raped. Maybe he did feel partially responsible for putting him in the situation. I'm sure that was a terrible pain for your dad. Some people don't know how to deal with strong emotions so they busy themselves with other things that distract them.

Then, your dad went through the pain of your brother's death and he heaped on more distractions. You, unfortunately, remind your dad of your brother and it triggers the pain when he is with you.

Your dad needs talk therapy as much as you do. It would be nice if you could all go to family/grief counseling.

Even if your family (extended family too) doesn't get professional counseling, stick with talking to your step brothers. They know what you've been through. They will be sympathetic.

I know you feel like you want to wash your hands of the whole thing - just start fresh - and you can, but you cannot run away from the bad feelings. You have to work through them. You have to face them, experience them, and then begin to walk away. Take baby steps and hold onto the hands of your family and your internet friends. If you run, these things will only chase you.

I wish you the best. I have a feeling you are strong enough to work through this.