Shakespeare Losing His Cherry on Wedding Night

Canto 11

by Wolf Larsen

As fast as orgaaasm-siiingiing-skiiees, so banging-boom thou cums & cuums!
In one favorite tornado of mine, from that world departing from hundreds of balloons;
And with fresh blOOd and fresh blOOd and fresh blOOd
Thou mayst call a barrage of earthquakes to bless the Earth with destruction, when thou has converted to the greatest hallucination of all!
Herein lives thousands of miles of insanity, and insanity is beauty!
This beautiful pLaneTary-uLcer-souP, being sung by methadone sages:
So the heart attacks are becoming singing butterflies,
And many syphiLitic-inSane-yeaRs make the world go wildly!
Wildly Nature making bing-bongs go like fwoopity-fwonks,
These harsh featureless traditions, perishing like antiques called books:
Look! The world's most super-endow'dtransvestite gives more & more magical nouns & adjectives to her lucky lovers!
Whose bounteous goody booty is a gift to the gods I cherish:
This she-he carved wild animals into the forest, which means watermelon trees for all the fish!
Which is why thou shouldst prance & skip-a-doddle & frolic more! Don't let that frappy ding-dong die!
Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen


Sonnet XI

by William Shakespeare

As fast as thou shalt wane, so fast thou growest
In one of thine, from that which thou departest;
And that fresh blood which youngly thou bestowest
Thou mayst call thine when thou from youth convertest.
Herein lives wisdom, beauty and increase: 5
Without this, folly, age and cold decay:
If all were minded so, the times should cease
And threescore year would make the world away.
Let those whom Nature hath not made for store,
Harsh featureless and rude, barrenly perish: 10
Look, whom she best endow'd she gave the more;
Which bounteous gift thou shouldst in bounty cherish:
She carved thee for her seal, and meant thereby
Thou shouldst print more, not let that copy die. 14