i got accepted to a somewhat difficult program at my school and was focused on studying/work. for one of my classes, i had to spend time with the same 5 people for 8 hours at a time. so whether i liked it or not, i was bound to become close to them. seriously, doesn't everyone feel close to people you spend a lot of time with and are pursuing the same goals? anyway, there's this one girl who would always wave at me, wait for me, sit next to me, etc.... she remembers every single thing i say and do. one day as we were working on our assignments, i found myself staring at her. after that, i thought about her everyday. i thought holy sh*t, how did i fall for her? KNOWING she had a bf and is most likely straight. there's no way i would have a chance at her, right? b/c who in their right minds would keep telling someone they like that they are in a relationship. so i obviously have no chance with her. i started avoiding her. then she started avoiding me back. so here i am, seriously heartbroken, and i'm not even ready for school that's about to start in 2 weeks. i cannot think of anything other than her. FML!!!!! at least, she's not in any of my classes, but we have classes in the same building. all i can do is pray that i don't bump into her, b/c every time i see or hear from her, i just miss her all over again. what do i do? i have 2 choices. 1. ignore her and eventually she will stop emailing/texting, waving, etc.... CON: going to be VERY awkward should we have a class together for 8 hours at a time again. VERY. and very awkward, if we bump into each other. it will probably break my heart, if she pretended not to see me. plus, i would feel bad for making a girl think i'm avoiding her, b/c i don't like her when all she's done is be nice and friendly towards me. 2. be civil with her. just answer her emails, texts, etc... like i would any other classmates. CONS: i'll never be able to get over her until we're done with school sorry guys. i know my writing's all over the place, and my thoughts aren't very organized. i would really appreciate any help/insights i can get on this.
I feel that if you know that she is completely straight , you must respect her sexuality , like people are suppose to respect yours. Even though it sucks, and sucks for me also, not every girl you see is into girls. I think you need to be civil with her and just treat her like a regular classmate. If she not giving you any clues that she's interested in you, then you have to move on. Hopefully you will find someone else. Move on, there is always something better
Thanks. I'm going to try my best to treat her like a regular classmate, b/c she hasn't really done anything wrong. It just sucks that I fell for a straight girl. Nevermind straight. Just falling someone who wouldn't like you back whether straight, lesbian, bi, etc... sucks.
Hey littleturtle ... you've made teh right coice there for sure. But, trust me, you're going to find yourself attracted to all sorts of people who aren't attracted back before you find the right person for you. It hurts at the time ... but so does a grazed knee. Trust me here, hun ... you WILL get over her.
I'm in the same position.... Madly in love with a straight girl who I'll never have a chance with. And she talks to me about other guys who treat her like shit... I get so jealous and I cry at the thought of her being with someone else. This just sucks so much and I don't know if my heart will ever mend :'(
If she doesn't already know you are lesbian, I think you should explain to her exactly what you explained here, then tell her that you weren't avoiding her to be rude, but to avoid causing more complications. It's possible that she isn't as straight as you might think, and explaining your feelings honestly may start her down a new path. The way you described her, I'm pretty sure she won't run away screaming when you tell her; she seems really nice, and will probably be very understanding. This way, you won't have to wonder what could have happened for the rest of your life, and you can stop feeling so awkward around her. I know explaining something like that can be scary, but in most cases, open and honest communication is the best way to bridge the gap between two people. As I see it, there are three possibilities. 1. You continue a cordial, but distant relationship with her. 2. You tell her the truth and see what happens. 3. She freaks out and doesn't want to continue being your friend, (not likely) You may have noticed that option one and three are pretty much the same end result. Doing nothing would result in the same loss as telling her the truth and having a bad reaction. So you've got nothing to lose, and everything to gain! Just tell her the truth, but assure her you aren't trying to hook up with her by telling her about it. If she isn't understanding and accepting of your revelations, you probably wouldn't want to be with that kind of person for the long haul anyway. Whatever you do, I wish you good luck!
I suggest you try the same advice I gave Littleturtle. A lot of women don't realize they are attracted to other women until the idea is dropped in front of them. They probably feel an attraction to other women, but the culture surrounding their lives has taught them that only men go with women. As a result, they don't make the connection that their fascination with another woman is the same thing as their attraction for a man. Good luck!
