24, Never had sex, should I use a condom with numbing effects?

So I'm 24, male, and I've never had sex. I'm seeing a 26 year old who's quite experienced. I'm worried I won't last more than a minute or two so I was wondering if I should use one of those condoms that slightly numb the penis so that I can last longer. It's already embarrassing enough being a 24 yo virgin but I'm worried about a big time premature ejaculation.

Note: I don't think telling her I'm a virgin is going to work at all. She's already made several comments sort of making fun of guys who don't know what they're doing down there etc.

Thanks in advance.

 

You might as well fess up and tell her. I doubt you'll be able to disguise being a virgin. At least if she knows it's your first time she won't dog you for being bad at it. In fact, she may even be cool with it and help make sure your first time with her is as great as it can be.

That said, I personally don't like numbing agents and things like that. I feel the whole point of sex is to FEEL it. So I don't want to do anything that decreases the feeling. If it makes you feel more comfortable, then go for it. But realistically you're not going to knock it out the park your first time anyways, so I say you might as well enjoy it and get the most feeling you can.

 

you can last for 6 hours and she'll still be able to tell you don't know what you're doing. might as well let her know what she's in for.

unless you're just trying to bang her once to get rid of the virgin stigma. then don't mention it.

hopefully not anyway. she does sound like a bit of a bitch about that sort of thing.

 

If you've been masturbating for years and never touched a woman, it's more likely you may find it hard to cum from intercourse for the first time. A warm wet vagina feels much different than your hand (in a way that may require getting used to, depending on how tight your grip is), and so does the thrusting.

 

i know that telling her might be uncomfortable for you, but i think it's the best option. everybody has a first time, might as well learn something from it. if she knows, she can guide you. if she doesn't, she'll either realize anyway, or just think you are bad in bed.

 

Think of your mother while fucking your girlfriend. That way it will surely last a bit longer.
Hope this helps.

 

The first time you are with her, you're going to come fast no matter what you do, so you may as well make it oral or a hand job. Clean up and go right back into foreplay. Count on your second erection to last a lot longer.

 

Ha, I tried to think of senior, grey-haired vaginas in general the first time I got a blowjob, and didn't last much more than a minute. Luckily, the girl was accomodating and went to town again for a second time.

As for OP's question: it's probably just as effective to tug it sometime during the day you're scheduled to fuck her. I say forget about numbing agents and if your performance will be up to par, and just raw dog that hootch - heck, at the rate you're going it might be years before you get a rematch.

 

There's a key to lasting longer. Some guys try and think non sexual thought, other dudes grasp a handful of ball and squueze hard. Me, Ive just learned where to keep the pressure as I'm going. It used to be just one sensation, all in the head and splat but now I can last forever just tensing up different muscles in my legs and butt.

 

I'm a guy and I've found that I last longer when in a relaxed non-panicky state of mind and body.

Anxiety of what she's going to think of you actually works against you.

But I can only speak for myself, I can't speak for other men.

And my advice would be to tell the girl I was a virgin though, but more importantly let her know that it is ok for her to tell me what she does and does not like during sex. (that goes for both foreplay, verbal sex talk, and physical sex actions)

 

The title of this thread rhymes! Woo!

 

i'm a pirate, i love buried treasure. should i use a condom that's ribbed for her pleasure?

 

I literally fell off my couch.

 

This was my experience. I didn't have sex until I was 25 btw, and I was unable to orgasm from it. In fact, I was unable to have an orgasm from sex for the first SIX MONTHS of having it almost daily. It feels VERY different, there is much less pressure usually than what I was used to. I finally managed to orgasm and have since learned what helps me orgasm from sex and what doesn't. While it is a problem that I cannot "automatically" orgasm from sex (and cannot ever, under any circumstance, come even close to orgasm from oral), I am glad I have this problem and not the opposite one, because at least my girl can cum once or twice before we get down to finishing me off (biggest factor for me is stress)

and yeah, she's gonna know in 10 seconds that you're a virgin lol. just be honest with her, you might wanna let her know a little before you're about to enter her, like maybe while making out or something. Good luck!

 

Thanks for your advice guys but I don't think I can tell her. It's very intimidating when she'll mention an ex who she only dated "because he was good at sex." I feel if I told her she'd laugh in my face and walk away...

Anyway we got into a huge argument about Dr's yesterday and I think it really sucked the air out of the whole date. I'm a 1st year in medical school and she's just some coffee barrista who's ashamed of her own job. I still want to see how this goes because there's another girl I actually like and I'm worried I'll ruin it with the girl I like...

Everyone says, don't worry just relax... Not worrying and relaxing hasn't worked in 24 years so I really don't understand that advice. It's super frustrating to me that I'm intelligent, in great physical shape, in medical school, yet something seems like it's inherently wrong with me that I can't get laid. I mean, idiotic 15 year olds are getting ass, that just makes me feel like a complete failure. I'm successful in every arena but this one, yet all I do is dwell on my failure and ignore my successes. My close friends say it's because I'm depressed I don't know maybe they're right.

I'm not sure if I should just go to a whore and get a few practice rounds in, maybe that's the best thing for me now. I think I'll see her Thursday but I might as well push to see how far I can get. I CAN'T tell her though, maybe I'd pretend I haven't had sex in a few years or something but that's about as much as I could say.

I've already gotten my "excuse" ready for when I don't last long, I'll say it was because of the adderal I was on or something...

 

yeah, this seems to be a subject that nobody ever gives good advice on. i guess because people who are naturally good at it can't comprehend that some people aren't just naturally good at it, and people that aren't naturally good at it don't have any advice to give because they're in the same boat as you.

a whore may be a good idea, if you have some extra money and know where to get one.

i don't know for a fact, but i would think adderal would make you last longer.

 

BINGO!! If it's just about getting the virginity out the way, IMO it would be the best thing for you right now. Just go visit a prostitute and get it out the way. At least then you can stop stressing over it and act normally.

And you'd be surprised how many people lose their virginity to a prostitute. You can rest assured that a pro will make your first time relaxing and enjoyable for you.

 

I don't doubt it's frustrating as hell to be an all around successful guy, yet knowing that some girl who is, as you say, just some barista, can push your buttons and make you feel like a total virgin. But perhaps what you need is not a 'performance' condom, nor a prostitute to get a trial-run in with so as to keep face with a girl you evidently have mixed feelings about, but should take a hard look in the mirror as to why, if you're such an otherwise winning guy, the sex thing has hitherto failed to pan out for you. Can it be that by now, you're just too uptight to relate to women in a sufficiently open and mature way? And what do you make of those friends of yours who say you're 'depressed'? Have you ever considered psychotherapy?

 

It's possible your putting to much stock into this sex thing and getting depressed about it.

And perhaps subconsciously your holding out for a girl you aren't conflicted about and get along really well with? It's possible you just haven't met the right girl yet, and that's what is making you depressed.