Sex and Fun only relationships

For those that have or have had a sex relationship based on friendship and fun only, with no intent of it being a romantic partnership, how have you kept it light and fun without letting little differences interfere, like how they can in a marriage or monogamous relationship?
And what key practices have helped you keep it that way?

 

Keeping it on the dl so people don't see you as a couple.
remembering not to get jealous when the other person ends up w a gf or bf.
communication.
leaving the other person alone and
having a mutual respect for each other.

 

Most of my sexual relationships have been NSAs - especially those that I've had with other guys.

 

I don't think #1 is an issue, #2 is def not an issue. The rest, duly noted. Especially 3 and 5.
Thanks :sunny:

 

Is that what you also call a casual sex relatonship in your country as well?
Some here advertise in newspapers for fun times wanted either with singles / couples.

 

way back when i was still single i had some friends with benefits if you know what i mean

 

Yes, sometimes called that here as well.
Wasn't looking for one, was soliciting opinions as I am in one. But thanks.

 

Hate to say it :: the dreaded >>>>>>>> it's gotta be 50/50. Each person gets equal time and consideration to make sure their own needs are met. That is what defines friendship.

 

And they both mention what they are & aren't willing to do to each other either before or during their encounter so no feelings are hurt. Even if it's just for sex & not a relationship.

 

Basically don't act like a bf outside of the bedroom, else you start having feels and that will just ruin the NSA relationship and possibly a friendship. So you pretty much can't be in those sex relationships with someone you want to be with, else be ready for some drama. My $.02

 

I suck at being friends with benefits seems I always start having feelings...I guess because I have a big heart and that I think if someone is good to you that you should be good to them and that sex makes you that more special...I have been wrong a 1000 times.

 

Someone always wants the fuck buddy to fill the bf gf void for a time and when that doesn't happen they get pissy about it and then want to stop doing certain acts they feel are too special and then they bitch about how u treat them like a whore n shit ugh people

 

Yeah, I think that often it is harder for many women than the guys

Simon :sunny:

 

I'm not quite sure what you mean by "little differences". Obviously, there are no major issues to deal with in a casual sex relationship, other than basic trust issues that relate to safe sex and confidentiality. Even small issues are viewed in a different light, as you are not constantly assessing the suitability of the other person as a long-term partner. And you aren't constantly exchanging phone calls and messages because there isn't much to say. Little personality quirks are not so annoying when you are not contemplating being stuck dealing with them for many years, and your focus is always on sex and adventure. So, the problems should be minimal.

About all you have to discuss and agree on is when and where to meet, and what you want the fuck session to be like. Ideally, both partners have creative input into those decisions and keep changing things around, so that it won't get boring and repetitious. Keep your sense of humor, and resist the temptation to call and vent when you've had a bad day. Don't whine about your boss when you get together, wasting valuable time that could be spent on sexual things. In other words, don't let reality kill the fantasy.

I find those superficial relationships to be a whole lot easier than "real" relationships. That was my lifestyle for many years.

The girl is more likely than you are to fall back into familiar patterns of dealing with the opposite sex, based on past dating experience. Gently guide her back on track, saying something like, "I don't want to get into all that with you. We have more fun things to do and talk about. Let's forget about the real world for now." Another option, "Let's stop talking and get busy using our mouths for something more interesting." Or just grab her and put your tongue in her mouth.
:reddevil:

If she (or you) really, really wants to share a story from real life, the best time is after all the orgasms are over. Problems always seem smaller then.

 

My experience is that I can care about a FWB like a friend (ie chit chat, do favors, etc) without having feelings of romance and future. Maybe that is because my life forces those kind of limitations on me.

 

Thanks Bonk... good advice worth more than $.02.

Thanks Karen, you always have a way of phrasing things and getting down to brass tacks. (btw, when are we getting together for that NSA weekend, hmm?)

But seriously, the "little things" are things like having a bite to eat, turn signals, minor details that really don't matter in context. I've actually had to say several times that I don't want to talk about work, it's a touchy subject because I'm in transition in my career and switching jobs from a really bad one to a much better one. It brings a negative vibe to an otherwise good atmosphere.

Always enjoy your posts Karen, thanks

 

Back seat driver syndrome? Ooooh, that would drive me crazy! :willy_nilly: I'd have to say, "You can just meet me at the..."

 

aint THAT the only fucking way !! WTG girl.

 

Sometimes the best I can do is keep my mouth shut. :sunny:

 

Probably good relationship advice for all of us.