My mom's friend and her husband were over tonight with their two kids (10-months old and 2 years I believe). Every minute, I heard "Calm down!" or "Be quiet!" or "Don't touch that!". They're really nice people and all, but I seriously cannot stand when parents do not allow their kids to explore. They're young and curious, and I think that the best a child can learn is through experience, but her kids want to explore and learn and they were trying to prevent them from doing so. It just seemed like everything the kids did was wrong, and I wanted to let them touch the table and hold the wrapping paper and pet the kitty. It was kind of sad
Sometimes it can be really stressful as a parent when you're out with your kids in someone else's home that isnt childproofed. i am extremely respectful of a child's need to explore, BUT when i'm on someone else's turf i definitely set more boundaries on my child's exploration. If you would like their kids to be able to explore more freely while on your turf, it would be helpful to say something like, it's okay if the kids touch xyz, and explain that you're not worried about things getting broken, and that you'd be willing to clean up the mess, etc. Also, it would be helpful to provide safe items for the children to explore.
I have had encounters with people who do not want the kids to touch stuff in their houses and I have to respect that. It's their houses after all. It has helped when I bring my kids to someone houses and they tell me that it's ok for the kids to touch things and not to worry if they break something. Then I will go with the kids and help them explore. They are just trying to show some respect and if you really don't mind, say so. They will really appreciate it.
I just thought of something, you could offer to play with the kids and keep them busy. They will really appreciate it even more because they get a little break and a little adult talk while their kids are busy playing with you. The kids will have a lot of fun playing with someone else and have a little break from their parents. It's a win-win situation.
maybe they are not sure how your family feels about small childern touching things in your house. Set the boundries like someone else mentioned. I have caught myself a couple of times doing that before and realized it was because I was afraid of upsetting the person if my kids messed things up. Now, instead, I'll ask upfront what is ok for the kids to do. Like, if I walk in a friend's house I haven't visited with the kids before I'll say something like, "hey guys my kids are at that age where they love to touch and play with everything. Do you want me to keep them close by?" Something like that usually initiates the conversation about their rules and boundries. Coming from the other side though you could say, "I love how adventerous these two are! Its great watching how they interact with everything. Theres no important stuff around so if they want to just walk around and explore thats cool."
Well I do understand the stress thing and wanting to respect our house, but I mean that kid was excited about a gift we got him, and when he was playing with it and laughing she kept saying "Reese, calm down!" and "Behave" and all this, but I mean he was just playing! It made me sort of sad because he would just sit down on the floor and apologize and look all sad and bored
sometimes it takes someone else getting upset about their actions to their children before they really see how they are acting and how they are effecting their child. I think you should be up front and say something direct to them, so they understand that they will only be creating low self esteem children. If you can help them change then those children will really benifet from that. good luck
