Dont know how to talk to a girl.

Hi All,

I was raised by my very orthodox parents where they would't even allow me to see a girl or talk to a girl. I grew up like that and it so happened like I don't know how to talk to a girl at all.

I have tried to talk to many girls in my college days and post college days and all have ended up in heated conversations and problems and I just came to a conclusion that I am no way going to get gelled up with any girl in my life .

I am 24 now and I actually look forward to get married by 26 or 27. So in this case I just feel like even if I get married I might really fail in my marriage life just because I feel that I am no way going to be in sync with any girl.

I actually want lead a happily married life in near future but looks like I am not on track for it.

I am so confused and at times I feel like I am fit for nothing. Can any one help me out on this please.

 

As cliche as it is I believe when you find "the one" you will just click.

Honestly my best advice is to talk to girls exactly how you'd talk to guys.

 

In terms of my professional life I am feeling very confident and comfortable talking with girls but when it comes to casual chat and a healthy friendship with girls I feel I am out of the league.

 

Confidence is sexy. You can fool most any girl into thinking you are the coolest guy around just by acting confident (note: confident, NOT cocky).

Just strike up a conversation about anything. If she's friendly the conversation will continue, and if she's not, why waste your time?

 

Be confident, take an interest in her, when speaking to her make her feel as if she is the only person in the room.

If it helps, women also have the same confidence issues

 

practice, practice, practice. if you find something keeps yielding negative results, don't do it anymore.

 

I agree with all the above posters.

One thing you really need to know about women they love relationships and like to get close to others emotionally. Not saying men don't like this just that they value it more. Women will love it if you tell them your problems as they like to bond that way.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you.

 

its like talking to a guy, except you dont use cuss words..

 

Talk to them like they are people not objects or possesions you want to own! Be real and be yourself.

 

Talk to a girl the same way you would talk to a boy. Unless of course you want to immediately put a girl on edge and make her feel wary and suspicious of you, then you should talk to her like she's some kind of alien life form. Having a vagina does not really have that much effect on the practice of interpersonal communications. My advice, pretend that she doesn't have a vagina, in fact don't think of her genitalia at all and you'll be well upon your way into getting to know someone.

 

if you do that immediately, isn't that pretty much a sure way to becoming her "bestest friend?"

 

Not if you have designs. The thing is, to make sure you don't get too involved in her problems. Don't try to help with her problems, thats her friends job. That's what puts you on the list of best friends. Empathize yes, but no fixing.

 

@apricot: Not sure I agree with you here, it's a very much case by case basis. Guys who know how to improvise do best. You're giving this guy a set rule in a dynamic world, it'll only confuse him more. Also what did you mean by "not if you have designs"?


My advice to the OP is to have confidence in enjoying your life as is, girls come 2nd, and try not to think of them as separate. The social sphere and the sphere of romantic involvement (flirting and all of that) overlaps with other parts of just living in the world in general.


Now you say you're orthodox, if you want more info please feel free to PM me.

But I am starting to doubt if your parents, with good intentions, failed at correctly teaching you about the Word of God.


Matthew 19:5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?

No where does it say that men are to be super nervous around women as if they were pawns of the devil looking for a chance rob you of the kingdom of heaven. <(THIS is basically everything in a nutshell of what I've decerned most religious parents end up teaching their kids, and they end up sheltering them from the opposite sex leaving them unprepared for living IN the world (Note: But not OF the world).

 

If he fancies a girl in his social circle he will want to get her undivided attention, to win her heart.
Women tend to spend lot of time supporting, helping and nurturing one another,
and are concerned by expressing their caring. I'm not suggesting he go crying to girls every day with his problems, but rather to open up a channel to which a bond can be forged

 

she doesn't either. the whole thing sucks.

 

Rule No 1: Never, ever, ever, ever ask chics for advice on other chics.

atrueguy, you said you are planning on getting married soon, which I assume means kids. You should be more concerned with the ones that are going to put the kids first. Which will be the ones that mention that first. Rather than the ones trying to convince you they all are what they are clearly not, or more concerned with what you can do for them

 

Listen to Vanilla Gorilla. Women are just as susceptible to the idealization and idolization of women as men. They, through no fault of their own, will present an idealized (Hallmark/Oxygen/Disney Channel) version of life (no basis in reality), and they will base any advice on that "ideal" not to deliberately decieve the advisee, but out of a sense of morality that has been instilled, since birth, via a fictionalized world that all of us have been subjected to and lead to believe is correct and just, but that finds its roots in the same paternalistic, fruedian cognitive dissonance that has plagued man and woman kind since at least before the industrial revolution and probably much longer in the west. In other words, women are just as incapable of telling and reconciling with the truth about themselves as are men.

 

I agree. There are a lot of people in the world who will be boring to you, man or woman. Maybe the women you have been talking to just weren't meant to be in your life. If you meet someone you're supposed to be with, it will be easy. I've met a lot of people who say they didn't even meet the love of their life until they were 40+, and some people who never meet anyone at all! Don't pressure yourself, it will only make it harder.

 

Try to get to know someone online first. Text communication is much easier and you'll learn about her and have more confidence in holding the conversation in person when you meet.