My best friend ignores me

Yep, and it hurts, and it doesnt change, you cant force someone to love you back, but you can let go and eventually you will find someone who feels the same towards you, by staying in this situation you are also stopping that from ever happening..

 

Some people think that it's 'love' to stay and play the victim and that 'love' is suffering and all that crap.

This is an abusive non-relationship. Leave it. It may not be easy but it's the correct thing to do.

 

Don't do that. You shouldn't have to cry and beg just to keep someone in your life. show some self respect and cut this chick out of your life. It doesn't even sound like she considers you a friend. She just knows you as the guy who will do anything for her as she runs all over you.

Clearly you'll never be together. Clearly there isn't even a real friendship there. You won't be losing anything by cutting her out of your life but you will gain a bit of self respect.

 

Oh, so many replies. Thanks to all of you. To reply all these one by one will make it be too much posts from me, so I do like this:

That´s what she is intends to do, but she usually falls in love with married men, players and real bastards. They are the heroes in her opinion and it causes her plenty of trouble… No she doesn´t pay me for babysit.

Yes, she does, and that embarrass me a lot.

MamaPeace: I knew she was dating that guy but I didn´t know that she was having sex with him until afterwards. I had my suspicions when I saw the desire in her eyes, but she assured me that they only would go to the cinema or to museum or something. When he finally dumped her and she came to me to get consolation she confessed that she was sleeping with him.

The money I gave her now was a birthday gift, but I can´t deny that I have given her a lot of money before too. So even at that time, but I didn´t know what she needed the money for. I didn´t know she had to pay him for having sex.

She has been seeing me crying several times. If some of her other guys would catch her sleeping with another guy, they probably would beat her up. I react by crying and overwhelm her with kisses and hugs. Yet, without hesitation she prefers the tough guys.

 

well...you seem to have an excuse for everything....not even excuses really.....just awful reactions to her awful personality

which means you actually hope to eventually wear her down to the point she fucks you....this happens all the time...it happens much quicker if you arent a sucker while you are doing the ''wearing down''

your method could take 20 years and not work....my method is fool proof....good luck

 

i think there's an important distinction between love and devotion/dependency, but that the two are very easily confused. i spent the best part of a year under a similar misapprehension and it did me no favours at all.

you need to quit her cold turkey man, it'll be incredibly difficult, but worth the struggle when you've regained some self respect and can look back on this period of your life and think "what the hell was i doing to myself"

she clearly has no respect for you and treats you like crap, this is not even friendship, it's simply degrading, and morally repugnant on her part for taking advantage of your misplaced devotion. you need to stop organising your life around someone who appears to have absolutely no concern for your emotional wellbeing. and for fucks sake, stop giving her money; the fact that you felt the need to pay for her continued "friendship" should have clued you in to the fact that this is a transparently abusive relationship. go spend some time with yourself, you might actually find that you prefer the person you become when you stop making her the focus of your life.

 

I wonder if he ever kissed her! She's a slut anyway.

 

Either she's using you or she is tired of hearing you wine about your life all the time...this is from experience. I have a friend that does nothing but bitch and moan and groan about how terrible her life is! It makes me not want to talk to her, but I know she needs a friend so I try to hang with her at least once a week.

 

Grow a set of balls and move on.

 

Happy New Year to all of you!

Thanks! So what is your method? Please explain to me.

She spit at me and she wipes her feet on me, but still, I love her so much that I go down on my knees for her. What do you use to call someone like me?

It´s very, very hard, but I have been trying a lot of times to not contact her again during these periods when she ignores me. I try to think that she will return to me when she needs something, so I will wait until then. But when it takes so long time, and I miss her so much that it feels as if my heart will break, I can´t think clearly. Its so incredibly embarrassing, but I know my only chance to recover her friendship is by giving her money. So I do this mistake over and over again.

Well, you are right in a way. It´s not that kind of deep and wet kissing as loving couples use to do. I try to find a better word for it in the translation program, but I can´t find one. Maybe pet is a better word so let us use that word even if I don´t know if it´s correct. Anyway, sometimes I use to pet her.

This evening she was her eating dinner. Afterwards we sat on the couch, holding hands and talking, and it was so romantic. When she started to talk about this gorgeous guy who was on her party yesterday, and confessed that she had been making out with him, just as I suspected she would do, I got that kind of feelings again. I couldn´t resist to pet her, even though she giggled, almost trying to elude. I don´t know how she feels about it, but in any case she seems to have fun at my awkward attempts to cuddle with her.

 

so let it break. your current situation is clearly unhealthy, if you bow out, it will be better for you in the long run. probably for both of you (i don't imagine that being fawned over and having everything done/money given to you is really the sort of thing which makes you grow as a person.) maybe it'll even help you retain your dignity a little. she is never going to be with you in the way that you want, all you're doing is torturing yourself and allowing yourself to be exploited. leave.

 

Are you praying on our sympathy.. the thought crossed my mind that this my all be a joke. I know a few people like you.. but you are satirizing it a bit. Characters are satirized in movies.. like the way they make Matt to be an idiot in Nip/Tuck. You should be in a movie!!!!!

When I'm making advances towards women, I don't like when they don't let me shower them with gifts. I know at that point, I don't have them because they won't let me attach strings. It seems you're so weak, that you can't even use the strings she lets you attach, to your advantage

 

I have some advice for you.

This has been said but break up with her.

If that can't be done then here's the 2nd piece of advice.

Give me all your money, so I can sit on it and prevent her from eating you out of house and home. Once she can't squeeze you for money, you'll know where her heart lies.

In the olden days, she would've been stoned to death.

 

Forget about her, she's no good. She's using you and having begun to do it like that, will never change, she will manipulate you for ever if you let her.

Worry about the kid, not her. Manipulative parents fuck people up, growing up and thinking that's how you treat people or get what you want.

Just do you and forget about her, she doesn't care about you at all, and if she says she does, she'll be lieing, I'd betcha about anything.

 

Is the kid hers?

 

It only feels good to write about this, and talk about it in an anonymous way, and get some advices. You don´t need to feel symathy for me, I mean we don´t know each other. Yes, I feel the need to have some self-irony sometimes. And at last, yes i belive i´m to weak for the game of love.

Yes it´s hers. A 4 years old daughter.

Certainly not with me. Then she would throw me on the scrapheap. That´s why I keep on giving her money, silly me.

 

johan...you arent interested in advice...you said it yourself..it is hopeless...you are doomed to sadness and hurt

personally i want to see a photo of this dudette...if she fucks other cooler dudes and she has you to babysit maybe me or one of my buddies can have her number?

...just to get it through your head someone should make her phone you while she is getting slammed

 

In my assessment, you're already in the scrapheap, quit lying to yourself.

But I'm starting to suspect your a troll so this will be my last post to this thread. My advice in former posts have been genuine in the case you aren't a troll though.

 

We can't help him unless he helps himself. Thread closed

 

Ha ha! Very fun. But seriously, it wouldn´t been any surprise for me. I have seen making out with a man, I have seen her making out with a woman, I have seen her almost raping a young guy and what I don´t have seen she have told me afterwards. But still, my reactions are very strangely. What´s wrong with me?