Can't stay over girls house? I'm 20 years old. I'm a female. In college (last semester of community. Transferring in fall 2013 to university) I live with my parents. I have a job. Well I am seeing this girl. She is 26. She has her own place. Most nights she really wants me to spend the night and I really want to except my parents will not let me. They are very strict. I feel like I can't have a relationship with them around. They don't even like me seeing my friends. It sucks that I'm 20 and can't even stay over someone's house. I have a car but my dad bought it and he always threatens to seize my car. I'd like to save up for my own but it's hard with school fees. When I was in high school, i was basically forbidden to have a relationship with anyone. SCHOOL SCHOOL SCHOOL STUDIES was the motto. STILL the motto. I have never been in a relationship. I would always have to sneak around. I'm so tired of it. I have tried reasoning with them but they refuse to see where I am coming from. I don't do drugs. I've never been in a fight. I'm doing well in school. I hardly drink. It makes me mad that no matter how good of a person I try to be, I still can't do little things in life. And it's sad that now my 16 year old sister has been in more relationships than I have. I don't understand. What should I do? Part of me wants to sneak out and just come back in the morning one Day but only when my dad leaves (on the 14th). Another part of me is TIRED OF planning to sneak out. I really like this girl and I don't want her to keep waiting for me then eventually get tired of waiting. I don't want her to just see me as a "child" with a curfew. I REALLY like her. I have never liked anyone so much. We aren't in a relationship, no, but she's said to her friends that i'm her "future gf". I WANT that. I REALLY DO. BUT I CANNOT HAVE IT...if all this keeps going on behind the scenes. All I want to do is spend the night. Just once. Help? And yes, I am still a fucking virgin.
Take your parents to court and get a divorce from them. file a restraining order or a PFA on them. Or live like you do.. Solutions ..
You got to make them understand that you are an adult and they cannot control your life! You didn't say if they know that you're gay or not and if so how they feel about it.That could be important. I have two daughters who are adults now but when they were younger I felt that it was very important for them to do their own thing, it's the only way to learn about life in all its glory. Being told not to do something is a whole different ball game from making the decision to do it and finding out how wrong you were.Oh by the way, this threatening to take the car is emotional blackmailand sure as hell is not good parenting. Have you tried telling them to take the fucking car and shove it where the sun doesn't shine?
So far, only my mother knows I am. And I have told her that I am seeing this girl. And she knows how much I like her. She doesn't understand it all, but she KNOWS how much I like her. My father is a different case. He doesn't really believe in homosexuality. I don't 100% know his views on it, however, I don't think, as long as I am living here, that it would be wise to tell him anything. For those saying "move out" as if it's THAT easy, please stop. All my friends who have moved on their own have dropped out of school. That is not me. If it were that easy, I would have done it when I turned 18. However, I am hoping to at least get financial aid when I transfer to university. That way I can move into an apartment and have roomates.
I understand that part. Every "child" is an individual and you have to parent them as such. It's a longstanding anecdote. Those signs are all over the place. It's meant to mock thinking that the answer is that cut and dried.
That's not what I am saying. It's just the fact that whenever she wants me to, I can't. But I really want to. Sometimes when we come back from a date, and I drop her off, she'll invite me in and we'll cuddle for like 20 minutes. Then I have to up and go. I don't always want to have to "up and go" like I'm 16 with a curfew. Sometimes I would like to spend the night with someone I really like. For once. Is that wrong? And say we did make it "official" and started going out, but I still could never spend the night. I think she would grow tired of that.
What people grow tired of more quickly is the victim mentality. Get to work on some creative solutions and don't whine.
If you work offer to help pay bills and rent. What would they do if you didn't come home one night? What if you were out without their car, and someone dropped you off the next morning...what wo uld they really do? I say test them. When I graduated high school my mom continued to treat me like a kid so I started giving her money for bills and stopped coming home at a certain time. After a few days she stopped saying anything. What could she really say? I wasn't free loading; I was turning it into more of a roommate situation. The car thing is tricky though. I owned my own car
Ditto. Using parents excuses for not taking that leap, get her alone and cuddle for 20 mins, wow sounds so passionate Guilty, if you were gangbuster dizzy pining for this girl, you would have already gone there, wouldnt be able to keep your hands off her So she,s judt someone nice and safe and you dont have to risk anything
