Five Years Later.... And I'm not dead!

Hello the Hipforums boys and girls!

I have been on a somewhat extended leave-of-absence from the forums here, but back several years ago I was an active member of the community.

A few people may remember me, but most of you probably won't so I will give a short background so that the rest of this post makes sense:

I have a genetic condition that causes me chronic pain. Started being treated with opiates about 5 years ago. Got addicted. Have been back and forth, on and off, and have used pretty much everything out there, from IVing heroin to sublingual suboxone to oxy's....etc. Got tired of not ever being able to get effective pain relief because of my massive tolerance and because my history of dependence/addiction was making it impossible for my doctors to prescribe me anything that worked.
I decided at this point to see if I could get off the opiates entirely. It took me 3 years and a dozen different programs and drug therapies and at least as many doctors and extended hospital stays before finally, in April 2012, I realized that all the traditional methods of quitting weren't gonna work for me. I was in the hospital for an extended stay after my withdrawl combined with pain and my genetic lung condition led an inpatient detox program to put me in an ambulance and ship me out because they couldn't handle my symptoms anymore.
The hospital kept me on subutex (which they had been using at the detox facility), modifying the dose so that it made sense as a treatment for opiate-replacement and for chronic pain. In addition, they added klonopin (clonazepam) to treat my muscle spasms and my anxiety.
This combination seemed to work.

But it wasn't enough. I knew from past experience that when left to my own devices with the subs, I will eventually just start popping 'em like candy. So this time I gave them to a family member with whom I was living and she dispensed them to me each day so that I didn't have to worry about that aspect of things.

In addition, I changed my lifestyle completely. I began to actually take the other treatment for my genetic illness seriously, and to actively pursue not just relief of my symptoms but actual health and wellness.

I switched to a vegan diet. I started to exercise every day, starting slowly with walking and Tai Chi and progressing to running, weight lifting and Karate.

Five years ago when I was first prescribed opiates I could hardly walk without a cane.

Now, without any opiates in my system at all (I tapered myself off the subutex in August) I can run a mile.

Or well...I could, a month ago.

I had a flare up of my lung problems and with it, my pain. It derailed me slightly, but fortunately not to the extent that I went off the deep end.

I was in the hospital and they had no choice but to put me back on the opiates, but they tried something different with me this time.

They gave me Fentanyl patches - the one opiate that I have NEVER touched except once post-surgery while in the ICU.

I was skeptical at first, but they gave me dilaudid for breakthrough pain while I was in the hospital so I figured, what the hell, I can wear one of these patches and if it helps, cool, if not, we'll work something else out.

And fortunately for me, not only do the patches give me decent pain relief, they also give me practically zero high whatsoever when I wear them.

I am on a fast taper off of them over the next 2 weeks and then I'll be back off opiates for as long as possible, unless my pain makes it necessary for me to go back on the subs.

I started this thread to reintroduce myself to people here and to tell the people who may remember me from before what has been going on for the last several years while I wasn't posting!

The title of this thread says it all in my mind - it is five years later and I am quite surprised, with the hell I've put my body through, that I am NOT dead!

I'm back here to help with harm reduction and to communicate what I've learned in half a decade of opiate use to whoever needs/wants the information I've got.

I look forward to getting to know you all again!

Gratefully,

-V