my parents divorced at a young age. i grew up with my father, rarely seeing my mother, and now i am not really on any sort of terms with her. we sort of ignore the others existence. i do not know her, she does not know me. the same goes for my half-sister. i didn't have the greatest childhood, but i most definitely would have lived a trashier, more depressing childhood if my mother had been around. she would have installed negative ideas in my head, skewed my mind. i like the person i am, i'm sad if in another dimension there is a jessica who is more like my mother, or the person i understand her to be from her actions. oh well. actually. maybe that thought isn't so depressing. i mean, my life is better without her. no pain to deal with there. but in concept, its sad that my birth-giver wasn't a nurturing, sweet mother like some i know. just realized, i can only think of a very few friends of mine with parents still together, and even less with actual healthy relationships.
you should be the person you are. who you are now is the sum of all your experiences, never regret anything that contributes to who you are. accept the past, try to understand the steps that brought you to today, but do not dwell on them. appreciate that things would have been different, had different things happened, but the past can not be changed, so dont waste energy being down about it. grow where you are planted.
i agree muchly! sort of just making an observation of my life, ya know? i don't cry about a woman i don't know.
my parents divorced when i was 3. i knew both sides, was shunted back and forth. i think that while the idea of non-divorced households is romantic, its far more important for there to be love. i cant imagine having parents that hated each other, staying in it 'for the children'.
it is sad. I grew up with both loving parents. I couldn't imagine not having that. My wife had 3 kids when I met her and 2 crappy ex's. I tried to be a stable person in their lives and I hope I will always be there for them.
I was always eased by the fact that my parents did truly love each other; and that there was the little bit of light. I have a hard time even considering my parents as having been divorced. My dad was an alcoholic. Semi-abusive towards us; extremely emotionally abusive towards my mom. But he was a good guy deep down inside. The couple good things I've learned from him have been some of the most beneficial and shaping things that I've learned. But when my mum separated from him when I was 9 or so; it was a hope of salvation. He died when I was 13; but looking back on it; the moments of happiness between them, between us has always been the part I've tried to hold onto the most and it's hard for me to remember them as anything but an alcohol-ruined/failed coupling.
the thing is, i don't think i would get married unless it was with someone who was willing to keep a positive frame of mind throughout, who would stick it out for the long hall. if we felt broken, they would help me fix it.
then thats a quality you should seek in relationships. make sure communication is great, so that when their are issues you both can feel comfortable talking about them like adults. my hubby still bristles at it, but its an instinctual reaction. you just talk about everything, and try to solve everything together. i have lived with my hubby 8 years, we are common law married, and have a son. you have to find the person who is right for you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoXtkK9d33o"]We've Got To Break Up (Song A Day #1435) - YouTube relationships are complicated. we all learn through experience.
Yeah; relationships are for supporting each other. Logically, emotionally, historically; this is the only way that makes sense. I don't understand what the hell most daters think they are doing.
there's a guy i'm dating right now, we agree on a lot of things like that. but we've only been dating about 5 months. i don't wanna say i'm in love til i'm sure. but i can tell i'm happy the way things are. maybe i'll just never say i love you, and keep it a secret. i think that's a good secret to have. to treat someone like you love them, but never tell. :daisy:
i agree. no one has the right mentality for a relationship. once you make a commitment like that, you should really actually be in it for the long haul. and you should participate in the long haul before you make it official, with legalities and children and such. make sure you actually can stand a person, before jumping into an engagement and such.
my dad was gone by the time I was born I don't really know him at all, I have seen him maybe 15 times in 25 years. My mom was 18 when she had me, I loved with her & my grandma which is who I was basically raised by. I am not close to my mother really either. She won't work , stayed out all the time. I think most of it is though I went to work at 14 and for years I was her paycheck she didn't work for years & i payed what bills my grandma couldn't pay I did. I kinda resint her 4 that , because I went to work to buy my own stuff so she wouldn't have too & I still didn't have much. When I got my own place with in a few months she went back to work, seemed the old back injury had healed up. I have a 20y/o brother who has never worked a day & she supports him. When I was 16 I quit my job & she said she wouldn't support me , so with in 2 wks. I had another job & have worked since... Anyways that is semi- the short story on that... lol
right? i can't handle the hypocrisy of my mothers personality sometimes. she'll criticize other people for doing things trivial in comparison to some of the bullshit she's pulled in my life. mostly she's just been an unfair person. fuck that shit! i don't need her in my life.
love is a many splendored thing. it grows and changes over time. frankly i think people are willfully blind to love in everyday life. if you can let the little loves grow, they change you. love is etched upon us. five months of your heart (or romantic focus. i dont know, sudden loss of vocabulary) are marked by him. if you feel strongly, embrace it. if you dont want to pressure him, and i think thats sweet, then dont say it. express it. i think feminism tainted many of the pleasures of being a woman. it sounds stupid, but i love to cook for my man. i do everything i can to make his life easier. i have been a stay at home mom, though i plan to go back to work, but i have really tried to show him how much i appreciate him. i clean, i cook, i keep his uniforms washed and hung up. i keep things quiet when he needs to sleep. i cook foods that he likes, play video games that he likes, or watch and take an interest. obviously there are sexy things that express happy things too. its ok to wait for him to say it first. and he might freak out if he starts to feel the love real strong, so be gentle with it, and never overlook the domestic things. for example: it feels great to slide into a made up bed at the end of the day. it takes 2 seconds to spread it up nice, instead of leaving a jumble. its like subliminal love messaging. and its nice to be the recipient of! my honey often does the dishes because he knows i dont like it, and that im especially not a fan of doing the dishes after i cook. and he lets me get stuff i want, even though i dont make the money. theres lots of little things that mean more than the words. youve got to show it. walk in love. see love everywhere. look for it in every thing. the spell of rain, the warmth of fire, the way he flings an arm over his head while sleeping. love is everywhere.
right? to show genuine appreciation is a great way to show love. i always wanna make Rions life easier, i wanna make him happy! i know couples that bicker like siblings that legitimately hate each other. i don't understand why they continue the hell-torture.
My parents divorced when my mom was pregnant with me and I barely see him specially now that we don't live in Europe anymore. Bu you know what? Its okay, I love my dad and I appreciate the accident of my birth into this beautiful family that, without him it would have not been possible. So, regardless of me being way behind in his priorities, I still love him. He is a good person, as a friend you have not seen in a while, thats what I usually think when I actually hear of him. So don't feel hurt.
