Have you guys used dating sites? If so did you get good results or disappointments? This is my situation, I'm kinda unsure about my sexuality which is rather slack in my late 20's. My family thinks I'm straight but I could be a closet homosexual. I worry if I tell them they'll say "no you can't do that, thats too dangerous" alluring to STD. I think I might've found someone through this site and have a good convo going and other guys just don't wanna talk to me but this guy is good. If I feel that Id like to meet when ready how should I approach it? He might decline my request or something like that. I also kinda feel weird about meeting someone and pretend to other people that its something else like going out with friends for example. Sorry to of written an essay but I needed to explain my situation.
Why would other people be interested in the nature of your meeting and talking with another guy? Why would other people be interested in you, and your dealings to start with? Actually, you know that no one really cares. Why would you start bothering your parents about your POSSIBLY being homosexual, when even you have no clue about this? Why would they assume that the sexual relationships among homosexual men may bring about STDs? Unprotected sex with anyone can AND usually DOES allow for spreading of STDs. Just a few questions... KD
Think I'd consider using a dating service but I most likely would not do anything sexual the first date unless there was some massive chemistry or something, of course carry a condom. Yeah I can picture it being akward just going out all of a sudden and being questioned but I usually don't feel bad about lying in such a case.
I didnt have that on my mind and getting paranoid about something like being stabbed or whatever but I'm probably being ridiculous but I do intend to be careful
I'm a bit puzzled. What do you mean by 'rather slack in my late 20's?' Are we to assume you're a virgin? If not, how have you interacted with women? Why to you think you're a 'closet homosexual'? Are you turned on be a specific kind of male when you encounter them or is this all just a fantasy you have? What do you think of when you're masturbating? How do you picture yourself acting with another man in bed? My advice though is to contact a local gay group and ease yourself into the scene slowley. Don't go hanging around gay bars of public toilets - well - not until you know the ropes. One thing may be in your favour. As you've posted this on a 'hip forum' it tends to indicate a sensible attitude to a lot of things - drugs- sex- atypical relationships etc . Good luck and get back to us when and if you learn which side of the fence you're on - - oh, and by the way - if you do enjoy having it off with males it doesn't mean you're exclusively gay. You could be bi-sexual or simply going through a period of experimenting. I just realized your original post was made in january so you may have your legs in the air aleady. As you're in Melbourne contact one of the gay organizations there such as the Also Foundation, The Victorian Aids Council or phone in to one of JOY FM"s talkback programms. Wish I was still living in Melbourne, I'd 'give you a hand'.:2thumbsup:
I've been fantasizing alot about being with another male especially in bed and I rarely if ever think about the same thing with women. I did have former relationships with women but I've decided that I may be gay. Yeah and finding the right person can be rather frustrating its been this way on that site I've been using. No I'm not nessisarily a virgin and what do you mean by "legs in the air"?
Site I've been using? A dating site? Many people who post on these sites are painting a rosy picture of themselves about what they'd like to be, rather than what they are. I stick to my suggestion you make contact with one of the organisations in Melbourne with mostly gay members rather than use a dating site. That way you have the opportunity of meeting someone who 'sets you on fire' without the unatural pressure dating sites intale for anyone just beggining to explore their sexuality. If you do meet someone who interests you tell them openly you're not even sure you're gay. On the other hand if you want to discover if you're bi-sexual tell any woman your age you think you might be gay and they'll be unable to contral themselves trying to 'cure you'. From reading your posts here you appear to be intelligent and sincere so I imagine if you do join a group you'll soon find someone of like mind. If you contact the ALSO foundation they'll tell you about all the groups they're associated with and that's everything from film societies to sports groups. Ask them for a copy of their directory. I think you're about to start an exciting new chapter in your life - - I wish I was still in Melbourne to help you 'blossum' "Legs in the air" is a gay expression that can mean getting 'fu**ed' or just getting it off with somoeone. Anyhow, have a look at :- http://www.also.org.au Do get back to us here some time and tell us how you are going. Oh, and until you get your bearings avoid the S & M and Leather scene as some ( not all!) participants will use and abuse you and then throw you back on the street. Another thought. If you do join one of the many groups run by the ALSO foundation keep your eyes open for a gay couple you can befried, preferably not a couple who want to turn you into the meat in their sandwitch. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/health-issues-for-gay-men/my00738
Hmm I've only been in sexual relationships so far, and Karls idea seems rather grand to me. Though I did have sex with a couple friends, they never seemed completely comfortable with it, so I say try to really know someone first or they'll be regrets even though at the time I just wanted to have sex real bad.
"Hmm I've only been in sexual relationships so far, and Karls idea seems rather grand to me. Though I did have sex with a couple friends, they never seemed completely comfortable with it, so I say try to really know someone first or they'll be regrets even though at the time I just wanted to have sex real bad." Which idea is that Puddy? Let's keep in mind that everyone is different to some degree and many of us have differing needs. I can have a one night stand and still find love there. I can also have it off for pure animal sex with no love involved. Both experiences can be rewarding. I once had the joy of being in love with three other men and living with and loving them all for years. OK, that's rare and hard to find just as a faithful monogamy appears hard to hold together for many people - if they're honest. What has to be avoided are relationships, short or long term, where coersion and abuse are taken for granted. Sadly many get caught in such relationships and find it hard to escape. That's one I can't get my*head around. The first time anyone tries to dictate to me I'm outa there. The first time anyone comes the "Why didn't you take me with you" or " Where have you been" I'm outa there too.
I havn't been able to contact the site when I pressure the "contact us" button like there is some error. Perhaps I could volunteer at the ALSO foundation?
Level 8, 225 Bourke Street, Melbourne Victoria 3000 Australia Telephone: 9660 3900 Volunteering would be a good idea but you don't have to dive in off the deep end. You could join one of their special interest groups. Everything from gardening to athletics last time I looked. Good luck, you'll meet some wonderful people I'm sure.
It seems to me that you just want to explore your suspected inclinations and while a local gay group could be Ok I see no reason why you can't meet someone off a dating site - the big one in OZ seems to be Gay Romeo/Planet Romeo. Personally I'ver met loads of people from them though maybe 95% are under wraps and are mostly there for chat; but the others are mostly serious and if you spend a while chatting first to assess some similar desires you should find someone to explore with. Some gay guys are not keen to go with novices but others are, and I would recommend going with a gay guy rather than a bi-guy; better lovers and more experienced. And asto safety aspects (other than STDs - use a condom) - guys are on these sites for sexual reasons and I reckon 99% that is their fetish - not luring guys into dark corners to knife them. Fronm my experience the sites are fine just avoid the guys where something doesn't ring true. Also going with a gay guy - he probably has a place to meet and play, so no rushed, fumbled liasons in odd places. After all if a guy is letting you come to his place then you know where he lives and he is almost certainly trustworthy. Good luck, Simon :sunny:
I've been noticing a trend on the dating site I've been using. More often than not older guys in their 40s, 50s and 60s message me and none of the younger ones unless I message them. Fortunately for me there seems to be one guy who seems fine and I'm interested in him I just hope that he might take me and is the friendliest one so far that I've found.
hey if he doesn't work out there will be another one; but also as Karl suggests try the Melbourne groups too - just takes the initial effort Good luck, Simon :sunny:
From my findings with dating sites: Liars, no shows, more liars, and the odd crazy person. There have been a couple times where it's worked out for the better, but definitely more negative experiences than positive.
