Under Pressure

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by monkjr, Nov 28, 2012.

  1. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

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    On average, what is your reaction to your partner passively pressuring you for sex?

    I'm predict I'm gonna get different reactions based on the gender divide, but I'd like people to respond in a couple ways following this format.


    Are you a straight male, straight female, gay male, gay female, bi male, or bi female? (please pick one category)

    1. Never a problem, I'm always ready to go. I have a higher sex drive than my partner.


    2. I give in willingly if they turn up the foreplay (touch) and have been charming.

    3. I give in to satisfy my partner, but it's barely pleasurable if at all and feels like a chore. I do it for the relationship staying together. (side question: Is this a form of rape?)

    4. I get annoyed and do not give in.
     
  2. Lady-Lover

    Lady-Lover Member

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    I am a straight male, but don't quite fit into any of your categories. My wife has a very high sex drive and frequently comes to me for sex. I am always up for it mentally, but sometimes it can take it's toll on me physically. If I am not physically up to it I tell her that and she is fine with it.

    All told we have a fantastic sex life with at least 2 sexual encounters per day on average.
     
  3. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    Bisexual female, male partner.

    I'm closer to two than one.
    Unless I'm having pain ( I have a chronic pain condition), I'm usually happy to go along, at least, and it usually pays off for me:love:

    Kinda out of the question scope, but I'm submissive, so part of the dynamic is being game more than not.

    I'm curious what you consider passive pressure?
     
  4. pipgirl

    pipgirl Member

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    straight female
    I'm close to 1, but i'm not sure if i have a higher sex drive than my bf, we both love sex. and i can't imagine him wanting sex and me not wanting back. i love it when he wants sex
     
  5. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

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    No that's category 1. Category 1 meant equal or higher than my partner's sex drive.
     
  6. monkjr

    monkjr Senior Member

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    So I've given myself a few weeks to think about how to define this.

    To me passive pressure, means the one who wants the sex might not even be aware of there behavior changes towards their partner, but it still occurs.

    For example: The partner with the higher sex drives backs off directly asking for sex, but the relationship is less warm and communicative. This wouldn't occur because of any purposeful malevolent intentions but would kinda be defined as "drifting part or losing that chemistry".
     
  7. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    Honestly? I'd be more concerned about the cooling because of a temporary difference in sexual frequency.
    But I have no problem giving a rain check.
    I'll even print a freaking certificate he next day.
    And I try to initiate within a reasonable time. Again, dictated by my pain levels and if sex helps or makes it far worse.
     
  8. Ivory62

    Ivory62 Senior Member

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    Exactly what happened to me. I ended up sleeping in a separate room 5 nights out of 7, and only stopped when our daughter started asking awkward questions about why Dad didn't sleep with Mum.

    I was constantly, always ready to go. Anywhere anytime. So was she....every 21st Sunday when the moon was full and Venus aligned with the 3rd moon of Whatthefuck.

    I stopped with the subtle pressure when I got a lingerie gift (still in the box) thrown at my head on Valentine's day. Moved out 4 months later.
     
  9. cavalier_approach

    cavalier_approach Guest

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    God, poor you, Ivory62... Sometimes, it seems to accurately bring pleasure to a female requires precision and ingenuity and timing, and... Who knows the answer... Not even ladies, I'd venture...
     
  10. Meliai

    Meliai Members

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    I'm a straight female. I could probably say all options and situations are true for me. Sometimes I'm ready to go, sometimes it takes a little coaxing, sometimes I do it just to please my partner (although I would not say it ever feels like a chore ).the only time I don't give in is if I'm sick or exhausted.

    As far as passive pressure, my boyfriend can turn into a real bastard if he doesn't get laid for a few days. He's snappy and easily aggravated and annoyed. He has a really high sex drive, higher than mine but I try to keep up. I think it's gotten pretty bad in a relationship if sex gets to the point where it feels like a chore.
     
  11. LetLovinTakeHold

    LetLovinTakeHold Cuz it will if you let it

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    I'm a straight male and I fall somewhere in between # 1 and #2.

    I'm ready to go 95% of the time. But even when I'm completely exhausted from work, or otherwise just not into it......if the chick puts forward some effort and gets into it, I can always be persuaded.

    The problem i had with my ex, is that she didn't much care for foreplay. She just wanted the cock without a moments notice whenever she pleased. Which was friggin awesome at first, but got old after a while because she seemed more interested in my penis than she was me. Almost every morning she would try to roll me over on top of her and expect me to just start pumping away without priming my engine, if you know what I mean.
     
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