Men can't handle trouble

Women and men will just never fully understand each other. Natures biggest joke.

 

There is wisdom right there! WTG

So we have to face the tough part. Helping each other get as close as we can.

 

That's at least 50% correct. I think women understand us fine, they just torture us for the sport. Like catching fish you don't keep. And men are the fish, swimming around and going WTF??? a lot.

 

After reading every post of this thread, I've decided not to post here -- too much drama.

 

Oh so men dont do the same thing? Our brains just process things differently, which means reacting differently. There are things both sexes do that the other has no understanding why they act that way. Kinda like how i will never understand why my boyfriend leaves empty boxes of cereal in the pantry instead of throwing them away....lol and its not just the cereal.

 

Yeah, not only do I not get anywhere with focusing on how to help with decision making, I am pretty tortured.

 

I do ok

 

that is a post brother...you did post in this thread

drama queen

 

Women avoid logic, and rely on emotions, (listen to their "heart").

men rely heavily on logic. Emotions are just a physiological anomaly designed to sway your thought processes one way or the other, and should be avoided and ignored.

I think this may be at the root of the problem.

 

Depends on the individuals and also on the couple as a duo. Some are more compatible emotionally than others.

From personal experience I agree with you, but thats just because its what i have experienced. My ex for example (3 years together, child together, living together) horribly avoided any chance to talk about feelings and stuff, resulting in me feeling so trapped with him I left, he still doesn't understand why because he never listened. My current partner, or ex now I think, was unfortunate in that because I went on past experience I decided it best just to not say anything, resulting in me hiding a major thing from him until I physically couldnt cope with it anymore and when I let it out he couldnt handle it either and I've barely spoken to him since.. I realise had I told him sooner (instead of assuming things wpuld be how they were before) that it would be a different story and we most likely would have been able to get through it and move on.

Lesson learnt though, everyone is different, it isnt gender specific either. I acted differently than I usually would have by going on past experience when I should have just been myself, and hurting someone in the process when really I was trying to stop myself getting hurt like last time.

 

Generalizations about gender behavioral differences are usually not very helpful and often can be quite harmful.

Some men are great communicators, some are neanderthals. Same for women.

Some men work very hard to make their relationships work, some do not. Same for women.

Since the OP cannot form a sexual relationship with but an infinitesimal fraction of men she should focus on what works (or doesn't work) with only those she gets involved with.

I've had four serious relationships in the past 29 years. Each was totally different, but then again I was different than I am today for the 1st three. I have been with my wife for 16 years and neither one of is going anywhere. We fight, we have disagreements but in the end there is trust and respect and affection for each other that holds us together.

One needs to have enough luck to find someone where there is above all else trust and respect. Without both of these relationships fail. If someone is constantly getting involved with partners where there is no trust and respect then that person would be better served by examining why they end up with those types of partners than making generalizations from their limited experience.

 

honesty creates pain in the immediate, but a lie (or secret) hurts worse later.

 

Huh? I'm in a 18 year marriage. Yes, its a crappy one. Our biggest problem is courage.

 

I understand why people generalize. As humans we put out a certain kind of energy, and we get back what we give out to the universe. People who are most like us are drawn to us, as are those who's presence we crave, in whatever shape or form. I guess I believe in a kind of manifest destiny, so it makes sense when someone generalizes because they have only dealt with what they have been handed throughout their life, the people that they have drawn to themselves. For example, someone who has a thing for fat guys and only hangs out with them, shouldn't complain when their partner or friends can't keep up with them physically, because those are the kinds of people that person chooses to be around. So when people generalize, I can't help but think that in a way they have brought it on themselves, subconsciously drawing a certain type of person to them. If there has been a problem with almost every man in your life, it is up to you to decide whether this is the type of person you are somehow bringing to yourself, or if it's really what you want on some level. People who generalize usually have problems with accepting blame as well.

 

Yes, the unbrave are attracted to me. I can go for that. They're passive and they need a strong woman. They make me nuts and ultimately I lose respect. My own temperament is that I don't like interferrence so in a subliminal way, I'm sure put off a more willfull man. It is something I need to temper so that I can get into something where I can thrive. Luckily my temperament also gives me courage. So, I can accept blame, and responsibility, but I will also accept a challenge. I won't turn away.

 

Are the problems you are seeing with men based on what you have with your husband or also with the other men in your life? Your husband might be how you descibing men in general, but the other guys might not want to except a challenge, because of the relationship they have with you. I would think a lot of people in that kind of situation are not looking for things to be complicated!

Not only passive guys need a strong woman! There are strong men that also want the person in there life to be strong as well.

I am not trying to say that I think the experiences you have are not how you say, but it is not like that for everyone. Men just like woman are not all the same.