Hey guys im new here, this site is awesome. Way better than yahoo answers lol So im 20, and so is my gf, we've been together for a year now. I enjoy sex with her and love her so much but we only have sex like once a week (at most) due to her schedule. I dont want to be an asshole and cheat on her but i feel like my sex drive is so high right now and its really hard to keep it in for just once a week. And i feel like im missing out on college and life by only staying with one girl and not experiencing other. I just dont know what to do. What do you guys think?
You say that you are male, young, with a high sex drive and feel like you are missing out. Do you have character? If so, you need to let your girlfriend know that you are seeking other partners. The young male with a high sex drive stuff passes. Character lasts, its worth your while to develop it. Talk to your girlfriend before you do something that she will consider cheating.
@Mike but i love her and dont want to break up with her. @underwear yeah im getting pretty tired of my hand.
aren't we all... if you don't want to be monogamous, don't be monogamous. if you really love her and don't want to break up with her, then you'll just have to grow up and learn to sacrifice what is less important for what is more important. it really depends on what is more important to you. alternatively, you could suggest an open relationship to her, but that works very rarely, and you shouldn't do that unless you're willing to let her screw around too.
@jsmart You love her. You don't want to break up with her. You want sex with other women. Those three desires are in conflict with each other. You can't have all three. You are going to have to give up at least one of them. Don't fuss at me, if it was up to me, lovers would be cool with their partner having sex with others. But they didn't put me in charge of that stuff. Do you love her enough to be honest with her, even if it risks her leaving you? Do you love her enough to forgo sex with others? Do you care enough about yourself not to lie to her? That you have to give up one of your desires is an unfortunate fact, beyond your control. What you can control is how you do it, do you do it classy with honor? or sloppy and self-indulgent? Talk to her. Heck, she might surprise you and say "Good idea! Yes, its OK if we sleep with other people."
@iminmyunderwear Yeah i guess...I feel like this is one of those have your cake and eat it too sort of situations. I do want to be with her...but i dont want to miss out on experiencing these new things. @Mike thanks for the answer. I guess this is the kind of situation where there is no right answer . I guess its all up to me to decide which road to take.
What's so crazy about her schedule that she can't find time for sex? She's at the same Uni for christ sake (at least I assume). When I was in school I had a shitload of free time on my hands, and I don't think much has changed with college kids. At the very least she could blow you once in a while... that's like 5-10 mins of her time.
you're young, experience life, have fun, go wild. relationships are messy, serious, and someone always ends up hurting. save that stuff for later. that's just my advice
ain't that the truth..... OP, some good advice has been given. I will simply add this. Having been a victim of someone cheating on me was the hardest thing I've had to endure. I ended up in a psych ward 5 years and 1 month ago. Only for a few days, but it was incredibly tough. Don't cheat. Be honest. If you wanna sow your wild oats, break up (gently!!) with her first. Peace.
This is so right in so many ways! You want more that is fine, but don't destroy this girls faith and heart. Let her go.
You're human! It's natural for the human mind to want more. Just communicate with your lady on how you're feeling. Maybe she's feeling it too.
You are getting so much good advice in this thread! To be honest I am surprised by how much you are getting. It would do you good to listen to some of it so you don't make a mistake any good person would regret. Do what you want and live how you want just don't walk on someone else to do it.
Thanks for all the great advice you guys. I really appreciate and will definitely be taking some of it.
Let her know! If you haven't told her you're feeling this way she may not be aware of it. Perhaps you could discuss the practice of free love?
That is something i would be interested in but im not sure about her. Shes very "old school" if i may say. And we're both only 20 years old, im not sure if thats normal for 20 year olds to do.
Then buy a Fleshlight. But in all seriousness, you should talk to her and inform her about your feelings and desires on this. See if she can work on her schedule, or see if you can work on yours. If this relationship is so important, then don't cheat. As for missing out, I seriously doubt you're missing out on much. The media tends to make it out that young adults (especially college kids) are always going out, getting drunk, stoned, and fucking all the time with a lot of different people. This is hardly ever the truth. Yes, some people do this, but in my experience most they are exaggerating what really happen, or how often it does. Don't fuck up a relationship over this.
20 is WAY young to make decisions about having one person the rest of your life. Not to say it never happens. I think at 27-30 y/o, there is a better perspective about yourself, and what you want in a partner. For some people, they may never be marriage material. You could accept what she gives you right now, and be happy. Or open yourself up to opportunities and not be happy. Or vice versa. The point is: it's all about making decisions. Decide what you can live with, and if you can't, make a change.
