I've recently entered a relationship with someone. I've never been in a polyarmorous relationship, although I've known I'm polyarmorous for a while. I'm not quite sure how to get started. He works with a man who is in a swinging relationship and I would LOVE to trt aomething with the couple. I'm scared to death of how to bring it up. How do I start the conversation?
Thank you. Good luck in your polyamorous lifestyle, I have no experience with such things and so can't offer any help.
I'd say be as extremely honest as you can...don't assume failure is failure on your part. In my experience most people aren't really honest/communicative enough to do polyamorousness right... you almost have to overcommunicate to make sure you're on the right page. Start subtle and small, be patient and let it grow. Do not rush things or sacrifice your morals to get what you think should be down the road. Be sure the ones you're involved with are also respectful of your right to know what is going on and that they are proactive and open-minded and non-judgemental. Also make sure you don't get into a polyamorous relationship with an abusive(emotional or physical) person. I have seen this happen a lot in homosexual, bisexual and heterosexual relationships. I don't think it is really to be taken lightly, it is quite a task to maintain polyamory in my experience.
If any appreciates communication it's me. I kinda mastered that as a submissive. I feel like I have to be incredibly tactful as well. Under no circumstances would I have entered a polyarmorous relationship without weighing every danger and factor. I always believe polyarmory is nothing to play with. But I don't want to lose sight of the ultimate end goal: happiness.
Yeah..in my opinion it is easy to know your own intentions but not that of those around you... even with ample communication. Make sure they are very healthy, accepting and into polyamory for the right reasons and not just as an excuse...if you know what I mean. Other than that all I can say is good luck. I quit polyamory though I still have some friends who are into it.
If you haven't already get yourself a copy of "The Ethical Slut" by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. Its a pretty comprehensive guide to polyamory, both the fun stuff and the potential issues. It says far more than I could be bothered to write here
In the past, when I was single, I was fucking a lady on a more or less regular basis, but lived far enough away that I could not be there on a regular basis. Once, when I went to her house, I saw another car outside, and when I went in I found her naked on the bed and another guy was fucking her. Now, please understand that she had made no commitment to me, so she had no reason to feel guilty, but it did feel awkward, never the less. I went in to the family room, to let them have their privacy, and a few minutes later, the other guy came out, buttoning his pants. We said "Hello" and even exchanged names. Then he asked me if I was going to fuck "D" that afternoon, and I said "Sure!" Then he told me "You're lucky then! She is absolutely the best pussy I've ever had! Lots better than my wife!" Then he left and D came out of the bedroom, naked, and when she saw me there, she knew that I knew that "Bill" had been fucking her and was a bit embarrassed. She said she would take a shower and "get ready" for me, but I told her to not bother, and that I was ready then. When I fucked her, I loved thinking about the fact that another guy had been enjoying her pussy just a few minutes earlier and that made me cum even more easily. I did suggest to her that we set-up a meeting with the three of us and she did ask him, but she said that he said he didn't think he could "perform" if another guy was right there, so it never happened. During the few months that I was fucking her, I loved the fact that other guys, in fact several of them, were also fucking her! I LOVE sharing pussy!
There can be no place for jealousy in polyamory. Trust, communication, honesty, no secrets. There can be no pressure, no coersion. If your SO is not into it, it will not work. Sometimes even just "oh try it once" is enough to destroy your relationship. In my first marriage we were very conventional. My wife was never have even considered it. It was only after she died and I had a very strong willed lady move in with me that I entered the poly lifestyle. I let her cal the shots, and soon I was sharing with another friend. I'm very easy going and laid back so I let my lady decided who, what and when. I have to at least feel some attraction for the other person otherwise I'm not that interested. Consequently, our poly relationships are with a small, tight group of friends. Tread carefully. It is not for everyone.
