im 19 and i def lean towards being more introverted. after high school my social anxieties died down a lil but one thing that ive realized is that conversations dont come easily to me, esp small talk. a lot of the times i listen, either not knowing what to say or not rly caring abt what people are telling me. it just feels pretentious when i have to keep asking questions to keep the convo going. and idk, the whole how are you small talk stuff is so tedious for me (esp at work), but i do understand it may be necessary in certain situations and it's gotten easier having worked as a cashier for a while now. other than small talk, if i'm with at least a group of three ppl, i never offer much to say and i fear that i come off weird or awkward, but i try hard to say shit. like im not the type u can sit down at a restaurant with and have a conversation for hrs, unless if we were old friends catching up. sometimes i wonder if it's because i'm just stupid or dont lead a very interesting life to have much to say. i feel like there are 4 things that rly get me talking, and thats music, fashion, drugs and feelings. i cant relate to a lot of ppl but when i do meet ppl i click with, our relationship is usually based on inside jokes, being stupid with each other, and obvs common interests. and usually these r the ppl who i can comfortably share silence with. anyways i dont know if it's odd that i don't talk much, im comfortable that way but im wondering if i should try to improve that if it actually does make me awkward.
Nothing in your post indicates that you're a "mess." You have feelings of awkwardness in social situations but you are not necessarily a mess. I think you're within the range of "normal." Being reserved in social situations could indicate that you're a thoughtful person. I too have the "problem" you describe. But it's only a problem if we reject our nature and try to be something we're not. To go against our nature could create a mess. I've learned the value of small talk over the years. It opens the door to bigger talks later on so it does have value. If you desire to be more verbal, try reading a broad variety of subjects.
Na, you're normal. Lots of people are insecure, just be yourself! doesn't sound like there is anything wrong with you.
I remember being troubled by ordinary greetings such as, "what's up?" or "how ya doin?" I didn't know how to answer... I knew they didn't really want to know. Of course, I was analyzing things way too much. So I learned to respond, "zup?" or "how you doin?"
I hate small talk too, and I'm the same way in that when I click with people our relationship forms around jokes and being silly, not around endless conversation. I don't really enjoy conversation unless it's about something I'm really interested in and with someone I'm really comfortable around. But I do like people. I smile at people and I'm friendly, even if I don't know what to say. So people think of me as nice and reserved instead of unfriendly and awkward. I'm sure as long as you're nice to people no one is thinking that you're weird or awkward.
Standard man, who gives a shit.. I can't operate in conversation, unless I really get along with someone. As long as you're not a dick, it doesn't really matter.. there are those occasional moments of awkwardness, but it takes two to tango.. or talk, in this case. If either of you can't find something to talk about, then it's probably not just gonna happen. I bet if you get talking about something you love, you'll never shut up. If you're still wanting to sort things out, have a gander at their body language and try to match it. It's a wavelength thing, find their's.. but you don't have to do all the legwork.
My real life name is Joe. I can remember people greeting, "Hello Joe what do you know?" I didn't know how to respond...
basedprncss: I'm curious, how do you respond to questions asked in the negative? I'm referring to questions like: "You didn't spill the milk did you?" If I did not spill the milk, my answer would be "yes" (meaning: yes- I did not spill the milk). But common convention is to answer "no" (meaning: no- I did not spill the milk). Another "problem" with over analyzers is in the phrase "the alarm went off." The intended meaning is the opposite of the literal sense.
