The Orgy of Pigs & Elephants & Asses in Uncle Sam's Whorehouse

The Orgy of Pigs & Elephants & Asses in Uncle Sam's Whorehouse
part one of a musical by Wolf Larsen

A man gets out of bed in the morning and looks in the mirror and sings: "There's a new herpes sore in the corner of my mouth! Oh fuck fuck fuck! Oh fuck that's the most important word that's NOT in the dictionary! Oh fuck which is the BEST WORD in the English language!"

Suddenly, a big donkey/ass and a fat elephant jump out of two humongous toilets on stage and sing: "Hello! Hello! How are you? Congratulations for the new herpes sore on your mouth! We’re running for president!"
The donkey/ass sings: "Vote for me!"
The elephant sings: "No! Vote for me instead!"

And then the big ass and the elephant jump back in their toilets and disappear.
A chorus of whores (who are dressed up in Puritan style outfits – except that they're wearing mini-skirts & see-through shirts) all sing: "There's a new herpes sore on the corner of his mouth! Ha ha ha! Herpes! Herpes! Herpes! Ha ha ha! And anytime now the bombs will start falling out of the air! Ha ha ha! Because the Armed Forces of Uncle Sam are at war with herpes and the terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops!"

The saxophone suddenly starts playing. As it plays the saxophone seems to be saying: "Oh nO! The terrOrist bunnY rAbbits of Al-FrUity LoOps!"

The man with the herpes sore sings: "Electric banana soup! The terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops! Oh no! The terrorist bunny rabbits are conquering the planet with their methamphetamine-peanut-butter-laser-guns!"

The Puritan whores sing: "Oh no! Oh purple-vagina-psychiatric-drugs! Not the methamphetamine-peanut-butter-laser-guns!"

That's when a bunch of transvestite men with Puritan hats and purple & green painted faces and their ding-a-lings hanging in public view all jump out of everywhere and start singing: "What is our nation coming to when the terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops cause so much unemployment and herpes?! And how much heroin is Uncle Sam introducing in the water supply? After all, the terrorist bunny rabbits have stolen the sky!"
The saxophone blurts out, and seems to say: "StOlen the skY! StOlen the skY!"

The man with herpes begins dancing sensuously with all the transvestite men as he sings: "I like napalm in my coffee! I like sin taxes in my homelessness! Do you think my herpes sore is sexy? Do you? Huh? Do you?"

And as the transvestites dance around the man the transvestites all sing: "Sexy marshmallows! Sexy Cuban missile crisis! Oh the Nobel war prize for the big ass in the White House – oh so sexy sexy sexy! Yes yes yes I'm voting for the big ass in the White House! Sexy sexy kaboooom! The sexy First Lady makes my penis wanna go ka-zoooom!"
The trumpet seems to blurt out: Ka-zoOOom! Ka-zoOOom!"

The sexy sexy Puritan-mini-skirted whores sing: "Everything is such a delicious shit shit shit! On television the blah-blah-blah artists with the anuses in the middle of their faces filling the airwaves with shit shit shit! While in school they teach our kids all about the free and the brave and all that shit shit shit!"
The maracas shake with the sound of: "Shiiit – shiiit – shiiit!"

Then the transvestite men begin having erotic fun with the whores as the man with the herpes sore sings: "Oh praise a giant civilization of diarrhea with nuclear bombs on top of it! Oh praise a nation built on Puritan-hypocrisy-orgasms splashing God everywhere!"
The horns & woodwinds all blurt out: "PraAAaise! PraAAaise! PraAAise the LooOOOord halleluuUUUuujah!"

The whores all sing: "Praise the free market system – it's the best! Buy some of our free market pussy! Buy some of our free market ass! Buy a free-market blow job! We whores are no different than the businessman and politicians! We're just making a quick buck any old way we can!"

Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen

 

The Orgy of Pigs & Donkeys & Elephants in Uncle Sam's Whorehouse
Part two of a musical by Wolf Larsen

Suddenly, terrorist bunny rabbits begin jumping out of the ceiling and jumping out of the floor and jumping out of the two giant toilets on stage, and the terrorist bunny rabbits all have methamphetamine-peanut-butter-laser-guns.

The entire horn section begins screEEAAam-ing!

The transvestite men and whores on stage all scream/sing out: "OH FUCK! IT'S THE TERRORIST BUNNY RABBITS OF AL-FRUITY LOOPS! OH FUCK FUCK FUCK! AND THEY HAVE THEIR METHAMPHETAMINE-PEANUT-BUTTER-LASER-GUNS!"

The entire horn section screEEAAams out all over again!
Then the harp begins playing softly & sympathetically...

The writer of the musical sitting at his desk on stage sings: "It's soflippity-floppity digging in my nose for the words of this musical! I feel like I've been climbing up into God's anus for some millennia now, and this phrase of poetry that jumps from plays into poems and then into novels and through screenplays is the world's longest nightmare that ever plagued a human being! Please God let me out of your anus! My nightmare never ends – it spreads for miles around..."

And that's when all the whores & transvestites & terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops all sing together: "The writer is so zoopadee! He's so ZOWEEEE! And sometimes he even hides his penis in a secret drawer at the FBI! Zippity-zowee-kamooey! But other times he just sticks his ear to the vagina of the First Lady, and he listens to all the congressional committees having their proceedings there! Oh muck! Oh schmuck! Oh fuck!"

The woodwinds play: "Oh mUck! Oh schmUck! Oh fUck!”

That's when the leader of the terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops sings out: "In the first lady's vagina you'll find the factory that produces all the predator drones that are killing & blasting & ka-booming left-&-right! In the First Lady's vagina you'll also find everything you ever lost in your younger years – all the marbles and bizarre childhood drawings and lost condoms!"

And all the other terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops sing out: "Our buttocks of theee, sweet land of Indian genociiiide, and the birth of the mushroom cloouud!"

And the leader of the terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops sings: "In the first lady's vagina you'll also find all the tanks & aircraft carriers you could ever want to eat! Yummy yummy! Tonguey – tonguey!"

And all the other terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops sing: "But What's in the President's Anus? What's in the president's anus? –"

The saxophone sings out: "The preeesident's anus! The preeesident's anus!"

Then the leader of the terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops sings: "Who cares what's in the president's anus? It's what's in my anus that counts! Because I’m Bob! I'm Bob – king of the terrorists! I'm the grand whimzee- zippy-daddy of all terrorists!"

The rest of the terrorist bunny rabbits sing: "He's Bob Bob Bob – Bob the terrorist! He's the best diarrhea that the Colonel Sanders ever tasted! He’s Bob Bob Bob – Bob the terrorist!"

A terrorist bunny rabbit jumps out from the rest and sings: "He's all the dead fish that a dog could fly with! He’s Bob Bob Bob – Bob the terrorist! He's the miracle of all the spaceships of radio land!"

The rest of the terrorist bunny rabbits sing: "He’s Bob Bob Bob – Bob the terrorist!"

Bob sings: "I've got more pubic hair than anyone else in the whooole Milky Way galaxy!"

All the whores sing: "He's the most fried streetcorner of all Pluto!"

All the transvestites sing: "He's the granny's panties of your television set!"

Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen