I've been married for nineteen years now and have two kids...my son is going to be 19 in Feb and has graduated high school and plans on going to a community college next year. My daughter is going to be 18 this Feb and will be graduating high school in the spring. With four years of college costing up to $ 100,000 or more I feel that I have an obligation to helping them both out as much as possible. After all every parent wants their kids to have a better life than we did. Well here is my problem...we ran into some financial problems a while back and got behind on our mortgage. Between to mortgages I owe more on the house than its worth. Along with that I know have a house payment of $1500 a month plus another $200 on the second mortgage. I'll be 72 when the house is paid off...that's if all goes well. The only bright side to any of this is that I can walk away from the house and I don't own anything on it because of chapter 7 bankruptcy six years ago. So with this high house payment till next Sept 2013 I can not possibly help my kids out with college expenses in any way...not with only $167 left over after paying all the other bills monthly. Now if it was up to me I would just walk away from all of this and my problem would be solved. But....I have a wife that wants "something to show for " when she get's older. Hell...neither one of us might not still be around when the house is paid off. So when I try to talk to her about walking away from this so we can help out the kids with college expenses all I get is her yelling and crying up a storm. To me I feel as if she is being selfish about the whole thing. To me its as if she would rather bury her kids in college tuition expenses rather than move out and find something more reasonable than this. Not only do I believe it's not a fair thing to do to the kids I also feel guilty as hell about it. It's now to the point of thinking about not only walking a way from the house but also my marriage. The last thing I want to see for either one of my kids is for them to have to struggle financially as we have because they didn't have the opportunity to go to college and had to settle for a low paying job. So here is where all of you come in. Am I over thinking all of this or are my concerns justified ? If it was you in this situation what would you do ? I need some opinions here people...lol. thanks, Jim
Have you tried refinancing? You're going to have to cut all unnecessary expenses. (eating out, TV cable, you'll have to your gas) But walking away from your house will make things worse and make you legally unable to refinance.
It's hard to do anything because of the bankruptcy about five years back. Did that because we both lost our jobs when Maytag shut the plant down and she had two years of school ahead of her. With things the way they are my only options come down to walking away from the house and possibly my marriage or not being able to help the kids with school expenses. And on top of that we live in a very depressed area that seen well over 4000 jobs disappear in the last four years. So going out and finding something that pays better is out of the question. She said that she would pick up an extra part time job and did about six months ago but she has only worked it a few times...not even sure if I would call it part time. And I have a lawn care business on top of my regular job but that is seasonal and its now coming up on being out of season so I'm now looking for a part time job which is hard to find around here at this time of the year. Seems everyone else is out sucking up part time jobs now.
i don't really have any advice, but i can say that community college should not cost anywhere near $100,000 for four years. so at least there's that i guess. parents can get loans through FAFSA as well as students, although i don't know if the bankruptcy would affect eligibility, or if you're likely to be able to pay back a loan at a later time.
Tough situation. Almost everyone is 'under water' on their houses. I hope you can keep it by cutting back on whatever you can cut back on. As far as college,as Imminmyunderwear said--Jr college should be pretty cheap. And in some Jr colleges,a student can finish up the last two years of a major college right at the JC. I know that's the case in my hometown. Also,years ago,I got a list of grants that students can get. Unbelievable what's available. Check on your computer and don't give up. As far as the personal stuff--I don't know.
I'll have two in college too. My first is in her freshman year. We got financial aid, and will continue to do so every year. It includes a grant and loans. The loans we get, she'll help us pay off. It'll be the same when my son goes to college. We have a small college fund for each. We have severe unemployment problems so our nest egg is way down. So, I would tell you to get loans for their tuition. You might also refinance the house. We're doing that right now, to get the really low interest rate. It saves us a boatload each month. Selling the house is absolutely our last resort.
The other option is not to go to college immediately and hold off on taking a loan out. Student loans are one of the worst, because debt from that stays with you. This is gonna sound harsh, but I recommend actually NOT going to college at all in this situation. College really is a sham anyway, because employers want experience demonstrated from resumes, not a simple "this was my major, and this is my GPA".
Also do some research on recent legislation that Obama has passed to help homeowners who haven't yet foreclosed due to the 2008 recession onset.
Fuckin' Citimortgage "LOST" my papers I sent to them. I'm still paying 6 %. Pricks. I know they're taught to do that shit. MO.
My school loans are paid off. Make payments and they don't stay with you forever. They are one of the most forgiving loans, and many are subsidized. It will help you to build credit as well.
