Do you ever feel excluded?

I've noticed that some of my friends who do cocaine tend to hide it from me. It's really frustrating! They will disappear for minutes at a time when we go out somewhere and then come back giggling, or they will come out somewhere high on coke and won't tell me they are, but they will offer it to the people around me. They know that I don't do it and I guess I give off a vibe that I don't like it (I don't) but I've never said anything about their drug use to them. I'm not supportive of it, but I certainly don't condemn it. Have you ever felt excluded from a group or a social event because you don't drink/smoke/inhale something? Do you feel it's justified and what do you do about it?

I don't want my friends to think I'm a square or I'm anti drug, or in essence to them, anti fun. I just don't like doing it myself, but I don't hold anything against anyone who does.

 

Maybe they're just being respectful by not doing it in front of you?

 

I would be pissed if people where "hiding" coke from me.

Not because I'd feel left out, but because I would NOT stick around if there was coke around.

 

I've never felt excluded, even though there are a ton of drugs I don't do. People will all go into a room and I know what they're up to but I don't typically disapprove of anything (except meth) and I feel like people are pretty comfortable just telling me.

 

I fucking hate cocaine, for myself. It makes me so so miserable. But other people seem to find it fun.

 

Not in a long time, but yeah. People who didn't want to share the coke would go off in another room; and people who were shooting up would go in the bathroom together. It was a really awkward feeling that kind of made me just want to go out the front door while they were cloistered away.

 

True, but I would prefer if they didn't act shady about it. I don't want to ruin anyone's fun but maybe they could just do it.. not around me ever

That's exactly how I feel, but I don't want to act like I think I'm better than them for behaving like that you know. It just makes me uncomfortable, doing it and being around it.

Yeah... the whole concept of constantly banging lines just completely eludes me.

That's exactly what I did last night, which prompted me to post this thread. My friends through other friends were being weird, going out to the car constantly, then some people said they had to run home really quick, leaving my friend who I came with, and I alone for quite some time. We left. Fuck that!

 

Yeah, coke and stuff make people sketchy assholes.

But they're not banging lines. That's not how banging works....

 

ok cool :2thumbsup: perhaps you can enlighten me sir

 

We used to have parties where a group of us would go into a bedroom and get high and leave the others who didn't get high out in the livingroom. We were very open and honest about it. We felt we were respecting their choice not to get high by doing it where they weren't.

 

I feel like that sometimes. I do a variety of drugs, but I don't smoke weed simply because I don't really enjoy the feeling of being high. All my friends smoke weed all the time, and they hang out all the time to smoke and I usually just stay home because I'm not invited to hang, because they'll just be getting high.

It's also weird with cigs, like my friends all smoke cigs and I just quit. And when we all hang out a few people will go outside to smoke and I don't join, and I feel like I'm missing out with those bonding moments. I liked smoking for that social aspect and now it's kinda gone. I really hate the smell of smoke now since I stopped, so I don't like sitting outside with people when they do smoke. I know its a minor issue, but it really gets to me sometimes. Like, I'm NOT killing myself and it's causing me to feel excluded.

 

Ehh.... tobacco really is a great social drug, but not a great drug as far as drugs go, so when you quit if you just don't go smoke anymore you miss out, and if you just go to hang out and shoot the shit, the real addicts think it's strange because they're only there to smoke.

As for weed, I don't see why you're not invited, unless you make a big deal about not smoking..... just don't hit the thing..... it might be a bit boring for you, though.

.....try smoking some more weed, you'll like it, just takes a bit of tolerance and a few days to get into it.

 

I have experienced such feelings too but they were really kind of pointless in my situation. Coke sniffers often just keep it out of the public eye, also when you're at a party or something at someone's home when the majority doesn't do coke. And yes my friends didn't always came up telling me I'm on coke again but I don't see why they'd feel obliged to do that. Nowadays I don't have many friends that are into coke, speed etc. and the ones who do are unfortunately for them the more excluded ones because of their own druggy behaviour, not in the first place because of us.

Anyway, I don't see why a group of stoners would exclude a non stoner as long as they are not boring or judgemental company either. It's generally really social indeed although sometimes here the stoners just want to hang in the tunes for a while and you'd have to be quiet :biggrin:

 

lol, horse dewormer..

 

Sometimes I feel extruded, other times protruded, but never excluded. :beatnik:

 

It really is a social thing.

That's kind of how I feel. I'm not going to do drugs or smoke because I think they will like me more, but I for sure don't appreciate being left at some kind of establishment so my friends can go off and have a snow day in their car. Or when you go to a party and literally every room has people crowded around a pile of coke, and they whip around to look at you like you're some kind of intruder.. or when at said party the cops show up and all the coke heads are jumping out the window one after the other and I have actually witnessed that. I just don't get the dependence people develop for substances. I drink and I occasionally smoke a joint, but it's purely social behaviour and I'm positive if I thought anything I was doing was a problem I would stop. I guess people who frequent harder drugs don't really see it as a problem, only an occasional thing. Or do they? I have no idea.

 

I mean if people are smoking weed around me I just turn it down. But a lot of my friends will hang out specifically to get high and watch a movie or whatever, and they don't think to invite me because I'm not going to be smoking weed. I don't particularly mind all that much though, I mean it is kinda boring when everyone is sitting around getting high and I'm the only sober one. BUt i'd rather than then just sit around my house by myself. Its also just weird especially if its just one or two people and me, because smoking weed is such an everyday thing for all of my friends (probably of all of my close friends, 80% smoke weed every single day). It's like going to a bar with your friends and not having a beer, or going to a restaurant and not ordering any food.

I used to be such a stoner in high school, smoking weed every day and throughout my first year of college. now weed just makes me really anxious. I've gotten high maybe three or four times in the past year and every time I just go into panic attack mode. Not really all that much fun.

 

I dunno, I mean I have some friends who definitely know it and just don't care, or don't see the need to stop, or just feel like they can't so why bother. Especially my friends who smoke ciggs. I have a few friends who when I hang out with them, we are outside 85% of the time and they are chain smoking. Easily go through 5+ packs in a night of drinking, which is just horrendous. But its to the point where if they DONT smoke, their bodies would probably get fucked up a little bit.

I also kinda feel like that with a lot of my friends and drinking/smoking weed. If the main few people they buy weed from are out, and no one has weed for a night, they all complain and get all anxious and shit. Its fucking weird. And the amount of alcohol my friends drink is crazy. I'll have a beer after a long day, and get drunk on the weekends, but I have friends who will get blacked out, pass out and wake up in the morning and keep drinking, pass out, and then get wasted again that night. So they're essentially drunk for 2+ days. And then they're right back at it the next time they don't have to work one night. Its insane, I don't know how they physically do it.

 

kids shouldn't do drugs.

 

tbh, when i'm completely sober at a party i find it really hard to converse with anyone, simply because we're not really on the same level at all, but i tend not to feel deliberately excluded, its just sort of incidental. when i'm drinking i can get along with most anyone on anything, weed, MD, coke (except i'm generally pestering them for some, except the weed) and i don't feel excluded at all. i tend not to get invited to nights where people are just smoking weed and hanging out, cos i don't partake myself, but those nights happen less often these days anyway, and there's generally at least a few people at them who are just having a drink.

i think the tendency, particularly when you're new to a thing, is to act like your part of an exclusive club, which leads to a lot of division. once it loses its novelty a little, things tend to find their level. people tend to start thinking along the lines of "no matter what drug i'm on, i came to a party to hang out with most of the people here, if i'm gonna spend my night sat in a bathroom with all the other members of my drug-tribe, i may as well have stayed home with them."

i think i'd feel excluded if i stopped smoking straights though, for one thing, i don't think i'd go clubbing very often, because i don't really like the dancing bit, i just like chatting crap to strangers in the smoking section.