Not really, just a mini one... Got an email today from my professor saying that I need to drop out of the class or I'll probably fail. Well, dropping out isn't an option because then I wouldn't be a full time student anymore and it would mess up my financial aid. On top of that, I didn't even think I was doing that badly in the class... I didn't do too well on the first exam, because I didn't know how it would be structured and I just didn't really know what to expect. Second exam I studied hard for, felt very confident about everything, and still got a C. I just feel like I can't do anything right... in another class today I got back an exam and received a 60%. Probably not looking at anything higher than a C in that class now either. Again, this is a class I studied for, felt confident in everything before the test, felt like I was prepared for the exam and everything. How the fuck does this happen? Papers, I usually do well on. Usually As and Bs. Take home assignments I do fine on. The only class I'm doing decently in right now I barely pay attention in class but all the assignments are take home and I can figure most of them out from the book (it's a statistics class) But its all these exams... I can't recall the last exam I got better than a C on. I'm in my fucking 4th year of college and I still don't know how to take a fucking test. It's not that I don't know the material, I just go blank once the test gets to me. I just don't know what the hell I can do right now... I'll probably look into getting a tutor for my spanish class, but my other class I have no idea what to do about. I did fine on my paper, I'm engaged in class, I do the readings, but the fucking exams get me every time. I'm just freaking the fuck out because I cannot fail anything at this point, I can't be pushed further back. I'm already a year behind and wasting money on this shit. I feel like I'm trying hard. I'm doing my work, I'm going to class. I don't understand how I still am not doing well, even after trying. What the fuck is wrong with me. ugh I really needed to vent. Can't talk to any of my friends because I feel like too much of a dumbass, can't talk to my parents because they'll flip out at me for not doing well enough.
I mean, at this point I'm HOPING for a C... which is fucking pathetic. I'm gonna talk to my spanish teacher tomorrow. I just did a bunch of online activities from stuff we learned yesterday and got 100% on all of them... so it's definitely not anything to do with not grasping the material... I just can't handle stress well at all. I'm ridiculously stressed out at this point, I tried to do some work but I wasn't able to focus, so I took a break and watched some TV and got some food and I feel just as horrible as I did before. I'm about to clean my house and see if that helps. I have to go to work tomorrow all day too which is just adding to my stress... I just feel fucking helpless, I'm less stressed when I have shit to do. I dont even have any major work to do in my classes, just a few readings, I just can't do anything about the exams that I fucked up on and there's nothing I can do to change them. I've just been having anxiety attack after anxiety attack this whole day and I have no way of pulling myself out of it.
you might be able to get a diagnosis of a learning disability... most schools will give accommodations like no time limit on exams and stuff like that.
I feel like I've always been bad at test taking, and never really did anything about it, cause I got by ok in high school. The only things I ever tested well in was math. I don't think I've ever had a problem with any math class I've taken. But I remember in high school having to write an in class essay, and literally handing in a blank paper cause I had no idea what to write. My teacher had sympathy for me, thank god, and let me take it home and write it, and I did fine (I think I got a B, cause he couldn't give me full credit given the circumstances) I also remember having a history test in high school, where I studied for hours, studied with the teacher after class, and still only got a C.
