Guys and the bar...

Why are you surprised? What you are describing may not be acceptable or good, but it is par for the course IN THE PLACE WHERE YOU WERE.

Look, there are dozens, hundreds of different places where people can go for an evening. They can stay at home, gather at a friend's house, go to the movies, go to a restaurant, go to a bar/club, etc. etc. CERTAIN TYPES of people prefer and seek CERTAIN TYPES OF ENTERTAINMENT, and as it happens, the types of people who go to bars -- in general -- go there for drinking, getting drunk/otherwise inebriated, hitting on girls/guys, hoping for casual sex, etc. etc. You find MORE of this kind of obnoxious guy because a BAR SCENE is like HONEY, to that kind of personality, is to flies! That specific kind of venue CONCENTRATES a population of people with that kind of personality.

If you wanted to find wholesome behavior, you clearly had gone to the wrong kind of place. If you don't want to be hit on, leered at, followed, et cetera, why did you go to a place that is WELL KNOWN THE WORLD OVER for exactly that? You should not expect that kind of place to attract self-effacing, polite, friendly, non-lecherous guys because it is just not the nature of that kind of place. Expecting that a place that provides hot women getting drunk to NOT attract scummy, obnoxious guys who wish to "make" them is very intellectually dishonest, and in the end will not serve you well. Try to be more realistic about what is reasonable to expect, and make alterations in terms of where you decide to do your socializing.

-Jeffrey

 

"I'm not that hot nor that thin" why do girls always confuse weight and size with attractiveness. it makes me sad and angry.we should shut down the ad agencies and news papers and... and... blah

 

Well, whether you are at a bar or not, people are still responsible for their actions

I usually don't have this problem myself but one time I was with my cousin and this guy wouldn't leave her alone. When I cut the guy the evil eye, he asked my cousin was I her girlfriend. I heard this and said "Yeah nigga...and?" he mumbled sorry and left

For the rest of the night, everytime the guy would point us out to his friends or glance our way, I would put my arm around my cousin

Damn that shit was funny

 

Well, I don't know what I did to piss you off so badly Jeffrey, but deal with it.

I went to the bar to dance. There aren't any dance clubs around, they all are bars with dance floors (some moreso for dancing than others, but this was a dance bar for sure). There aren't any places to dance that don't involve alcohol in my little city. So I chose dancing for my entertainment, how does that correlate with having guys grind with me at random be acceptable? It's like saying a woman was asking to be raped because she was dressed provocatively (I know this isn't the intent of your message, but that's how it comes across) Hell, I was wearing pants a shirt (yes, a low cut shirt, but no more lowcut than I normally wear without being accosted). I don't understand why this is so offensive to you, that I wouldn't enjoy being ground with by random strangers. Obviously my going to a bar is asking for sex, right? WTF?

 

When I end up in places like you mentioned, I take a look around, resign and get seriously drunk. Then I find some dark corner and try to think I'm someplace else. I'm usually okay if I know some people, but if I'm surrounded by total strangers that are acting like morons I suffer greatly. I'm usually to dumb to go home. It's no use hitting on girls in that kind of places, since other guys are far better at playing by the asshole rules.

 

they're bad in san diego because of all the military bases even the insanely expensive treandy ones are filled with horny, drunk marines, even the hookah bars have military guys in them now if you go at night. I like to keep my ass to myself thank you very much.

 

Hon, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I was pissed off at you or something. I'm not. I was just having trouble with the way you seemed to be expecting stuff at this bar that I just don't think is reasonable to expect. The simple fact is, assholes congregate at bars because very often, bars are the places that provide what assholes want: alcohol, drugs, and easy women!

I want to say, as an aside, that you are super cute and attractive. Don't sell yourself short, talking about the girls who are "hotter" than you are. You're hot, yourself!

No ma'am, I never said it was acceptable. Just that you need to remember what you should and should not expect, as in, "don't be surprised" by guys acting in unacceptable ways, because you were in the specific kind of place where that goes on.

No no no no no. I regret that you were treated by guys the way you were treated. I hope it ended up just being a lesson for you that when you go to certain places, there are bound to be jerks there, and in a much higher concentration than just about anywhere else simply because jerks know they can get what they want there -- the places cater to that desire specifically.

I am afraid I don't have an answer for you regarding where you can go to just dance and have fun without having jerk guys to deal with. I wish you luck. But please don't take what I said as being critical of you. Actually, I kinda like you. Any girl with such a pretty face who can use the word CORRELATE well is okay in my book!

-Jeffrey

 

Please expand on this, am I an asshole for smoking pot?

 

guys will hit on lesbians
guys are jerks
guys need to learn how to use pick-up lines in a way that doesn't make them seem like even bigger jerks
I should open up a damn school

 

heh, the best pick up line is "hi", or maybe "hi, mind if I dance with you girls?"

I'd donate money to that school ducky

 

.........lol......yeah right

 

Go to a rock bar or a bar with live music. For some reason it's like a repealent for the majority of dumbasses. Plus the girls are hotter, and have much more personality.

 

I completely understand where your coming from. It get annoying real fast having these drunk guys come up to you and grope you. honestly that is no at all acceptable. you and your friends have the right to be at a club and have a good time without being hit on or groped or whatever. Next time some guy does that and he doesnt get the him find a bouncer and theyll take care of it thats their job.

 

I cant stand bars.... too many dumb drunk people to possibly put up with

 

Thats pretty much standard behavior for people in the bar scene around here... The only people that go to most bars in downtown windsor are people looking to fuck, or underaged americans looking to get shitfaced...

Does not appeal to me.

 

good point drunks are only fun if you're drunk or at a Football game