So I just started working a new job. I'm a pretty shy guy and the boss-gal is very pretty and very serious. I do what I can to keep from getting on her shit list as she's regularly berating the be-jesus out of someone in front of the full crew. Here's my problem: She calls me into her office during a Saturday AM inventory. We review some variances, that are skewed as to imply that I'm diverting some inventory (i.e. stealing). After assuring her that I am not, she relates this story: " Stealing is not always bad. I myself take employees personal electric razors from the locker room after hours. I enjoy masturbating with them. So I'm not really "stealing" per se". Needles to say, I'm confused, embarrassed, and intimidated. It's obvious from her smile that she see's this clearly and is enjoying the control. So she decides to let me off the hook and says: "I really don't think you are the type to steal. From now on when you report for work, arrive 15 minutes early. Sit at my desk and take off your pants. I'll be under the desk. Every day. do not be late. We'll call it even. How should I handle this?
